ASK A. TELEVISION

Got a problem? Contact A. Television. Dear TV, The first time I ever asked a girl out on a date, she declined on the grounds that she “valued our friendship too much.” At the time

Got a problem? Contact A. Television.


Dear TV,

The first time I ever asked a girl out on a date, she declined on the grounds that she “valued our friendship too much.” At the time I took her response at face value.

However, after I got nearly identical responses from the next 80 or so girls I asked out, I began to wonder if “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” actually means “I don’t find you attractive.” Or, worse yet “I decided the moment I laid eyes on you that we would never, ever, under any circumstances, have sex.”

I’m not the most attractive guy on the planet but, hey, neither is Puffy Combs – and he got that chick from “The Wedding Planner.” What’s the deal?

Signed,
Paulie “Boneface” N. Johnson

Dear PBNJ,

I assume you’re familiar with season two of “The Golden Girls.” If so, then you MUST remember episode 29, “Isn’t it Romantic.” This is the episode where Dorothy’s friend Jean comes for a visit. Unbeknownst to Blanche and Rose, Jean is a lesbian.

After a few days, Jean begins to fall for Rose. When Rose finds out, she becomes nervous. However, Rose then tells Jean that they can just be friends (Rose was not a lesbian). You see, Jean understood that Rose was not a lesbian, and her friendship was enough.

Are you asking lesbians out? If you are, that’s why they keep saying “no.”

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