Dear A. TV,
I’m a sophomore and female. All my life, I’ve been known as a goodie-goodie. Now, well into my college career, I really want to shed that image. I love to have fun! Living in Towers I see and hear about everyone having massive amounts of sex. I get hit on all the time, so I was thinking the easiest way to change my image would be to go on a wild sexcapade. I’m sure I’d like it anyway. Coming from a very strict, very religious family I was never taught a THING about sex. I’d ask some of my peers about sex, but I’m embarrassed to do so. Like what is the average size of a guy’s “Cathode Ray-Gun?”
A. TV, could you help me get laid? Do you have a special “remote control” in your life that really changes your channels?
-Wanna be a DJ.
Do you remember a little program called “Cheers”? You sort of remind me of Sam Malone. He was completely sex-crazed and girls obsessed his every thought.
However, you remind me more of Diane Chambers, Sam’s on-again-off-again lady friend. She was a big prude, until she started hanging with Mayday. He brought out the animal in her.
There is, of course, a point to all this mindless dribble. Sam was never truly happy with his life until he was in a committed, monogamous relationship. His life was empty, and he was not following his heart.
I suggest that if you really want to change your image, get a new pair of jeans.
P.S. Yes, I do have a remote control, and she knows exactly how to turn me on.