Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) – Creatively, you’re brewing something revolutionary that may not take full effect on your career until next year. It’ll be worth the wait.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) – Suddenly you’ll realize how good you looked in Jordache Jeans and will find interest in the Jerry curl and Shag.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) – Secrets, sex and death will play a transforming role in your life this month. This is not a foreboding of doom but an unraveling of the dark and mysterious.
Gemini (May 21-Jun 20) – The last thing that should be on your mind is a relationship, since the one you were in has ended. You should look to aggressively analyzing partnerships and your fatal part in them.
Cancer (Jun 22-Jul 22) – Don’t be surprised if you walk into work and find your boss wearing red, holding a pitchfork while Hitler and Mussolini play cards. Your job will be akin to HELL!
Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22) – David Bowie and Prince combined can’t top the mystical, daring and sexual performances you’ll be putting on for a while.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) – Old secret loves come out of the wood works with the situation being shrouded in mystery. This is a karmic relationship that needs to be rectified.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 23) – You know the shows, “Geeks to Studs” or “From Beat to Beautiful?” Well, just imagine that you’re sitting as an unsuspecting guest on Jenny Jones and that former dud pleasantly surprises you.
Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22) – Your financial situation is headed for a drastic change. Judging from the planets involved it won’t be pretty. It’s time to put a Cla Clink on the Cha Ching!
Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 21) – Run home to your room right now, close the door and turn off the lights. What’s happening to you? Your skin is bulging, your teeth raging. A boiling transformation is happening to you.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) – Your world is about to be rocked because past enemies are about to come stomping in your direction. Let’s get ready to rumble!
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) – People will definitely consider you to be “out there” as you creatively delve into dark and murky waters.