Call it post-traumatic stress disorder, but why does Jennifer Aniston officially filing for divorce from Brad Pitt feel like the world is ending all over again? I’m kvetching. The Friends ex-pat filed in LA’s Superior Court last Friday citing the ever-popular “irreconcilable differences.” No arrangements have been made as to division of the assets, of which there are many, including two multi-million dollar homes and Plan B Productions (which is poised to release its first juggernaut Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).
On the bright side, Lindsay Lohan’s family has hit a new low in dirty and simple. Lindsay’s grandmother, Marilyn, is selling the redhead starlet’s baby photos and home movies. The Mean Girls minx and her mother, Dina, are not happy with Nana rolling up and cashing in on the merchandise gravy train. Then again, this is the same woman that bore Michael Lohan (Lindsay’s father). Reps for the actress didn’t comment as to when (where, how much, can I get on a waiting list?) the sale is to take place.
Russell Crowe and his band, 30 Odd Feet of Grunts, have broken up so he can release a solo disc. Who cares?
Big surprise this weekend at the box office, lovers. Ashton (black hole of talent) Kutcher and the always-funny Bernie Mac asked audiences Guess Who? I’ll guess: about $21 million opening weekend. Not only are the numbers nice for a holiday weekend but enough to trample on the sequins and feathers of one Miss Sandra Bullock, gunning for sequel gold.
No such luck this weekend Sandy, with your poorly marketed Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. My advice: suck up the saccharine Sandra while you can. The 40-year-old sweetheart is headed down the ensemble path – Bullock’s got a slew of dramatic, small-scale pieces coming up.
Should I even mention Savetoby.com? Can a bunny be a celebrity? You decide and get back to me.
Most fun name to say in the entire universe? Peter Bogdanovich. The multi-tasking screen legend will replace Sydney Pollack as host of The Essentials, a Saturday night Turner Classic Movies program showing classic and apparently necessary films.
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were roaming L.A. last week. Jess donned a hoodie that read “talentless but connected.” What a revelation.
If some Dirt fan wanted to send me a hoodie that read “pointless but published” I would smack them upside the head! And then wear it! Everywhere.
Matt Donnelly can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.