If college is supposedly preparation for the real world, I would love to live in that so-called “real world”. It doesn’t prepare you for what’s out there, but for a utopia. You have people make

If college is supposedly preparation for the real world, I would love to live in that so-called “real world”. It doesn’t prepare you for what’s out there, but for a utopia.

You have people make your meals for you. Granted it may be bad, but you didn’t have to cook it yourself. You have someone clean your bathroom for you. You get “free” cable and Ethernet and your “work” is within a 5-block radius.

Every weekend someone throws a party and you don’t have to drive home. You just walk across the street. If I had George W. Bush’s kind of money I would be in college forever. If I had his “brains” I’d be in college forever too.

Why do universities make obtaining on-campus housing so difficult? So if you’re one of the lucky few to obtain a room, you’ll feel fortunate and blessed to have an over-priced cellblock-sized living space. Living with a roommate, for most, is like being in prison and while it may seem glamorous, living in a single is just solitary confinement. But if I’m in prison, I would much rather be in solitary confinement. At least you don’t need to have one eye open while you’re sleeping.

I once took a history class where the book had an entire section devoted to the history of McDonalds. For us English majors, that was known as early work-training.

Is it just me or don’t you find it ironic that the same people who voted for Ralph Nader because they’re all for the environment and nature are the same ones who are in the bushes in the backyards of fraternity houses.

I don’t smoke anything but it really bothers me when people who do drugs say they would never smoke cigarettes because that’s stupid. There’s a reason why “dope” is called what it is.

Don’t you just love it when colleges have “holiday dinners” in the cafeteria? It’s the same food and the same DJ. As of late, I must admit, it has improved immensely. Anyone at TU remember last year’s Valentine’s Day dinner? No one’s idea of romantic Valentine’s Day music could possibly include the DJ playing Juvenile’s “Back that Ass Up.” Then again, if you’re in a decent relationship, you’re at a fine restaurant listening to Mozart, and only if you are single are you eating in the cafeteria on Valentine’s Day. So, I guess “Back that Ass Up” shouldn’t come as such a surprise.

Remember your freshman year when prospective freshman would come to visit the campus during open house? You would help them out, give them directions if they asked you where “XYZ Hall” was, and spoke nothing but praise of your school. Now you’re an upperclassman. This means that when the prospective freshman come to visit all you can think is, “Those suckers better not end up stealing housing from me.”

Ever notice how the people who have the room right where your dorm hall starts are the ones that every year have the craziest stuff on their doors and message boards, like sick jokes and drunk pictures? Of course, this is the first door your parents notice when they come to visit you. That’s what makes them wonder why their hard-earned money is going towards this type of environment.

When you watch `80s movies, you realize how different this century is. What Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey were doing in that movie was called “Dirty Dancing”. Now that’s what’s known as “Thursday night.”

In high school you would have to be up at the crack of dawn. That’s why you were a good boy or girl and went to bed at a decent hour. Now, you hardly ever go to bed. Instead, you stay up until the late hours of the night after reading observational humor at and deciding that you too can transcribe the college experience.

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