When you have reached the realization that one partner is simply not enough to fulfill your appetite, it becomes a landmark moment in your relationship life. Here, the limits are endless and the chance of hurting someone – or yourself – is inevitable. But sometimes, we need a little something extra to make things that much more interesting.
I do realize I sound like a 21-year-old female condoning multiple sexual experiences and make-out sessions, but I am letting you all know right now that is not where I am coming from.
Author and former sex columnist for the Village Voice, Rachael Kramer Bussel, explained this flawlessly in her article, “The Case for Open Relationships”: “[For] both men and women, monogamy is not a perfect system and does not allow them to fully realize themselves. By that I don’t mean ‘sleep with anyone they want,’ but rather that we may reveal different aspects of ourselves to different people… We may want someone we can talk to, share with, who provides a different kind of support or energy, not necessarily sleep with.”
I found myself so attached to the idea of having a boyfriend “forever,” while realizing I had never once enjoyed the fruits of the single life. This included meeting fascinating new people, creating opportunities for having innocent fun and being comfortable, and even sometimes stealing a kiss or two from them when the loneliness monster crept into my brain.
But here is the stinker: juggling people in a time like today where emotions are always hiding behind our words and people become complicated with their wants and needs can be difficult. So why bother?
I feel I have mastered the art of this circus act of juggling, and one word can explain why: communication. By always creating an open forum of communication among those we wish to mix and mingle with, in any respect, allows both people to grasp an understanding of our wants and needs clearly from the beginning.
I was seeing a guy every so often a couple months ago, and from day one, we established our rules: no relationships, no drama, only fun and experience. We created a very fulfilling interaction where we were intimate at times, but also had such a close connection as friends that we could actually talk without needing to constantly act.
While I was seeing him off and on, I had also been seeing another guy who I formed a similar relationship with, but this veered into the friendship realm which is where we stand today. This opens the door for actually becoming friends with the opposite sex, which can sometimes be virtually impossible.
I came to Temple to get away from the boring guy scene I found in Northeast Philly, where every guy was the same. It was like being in a town of robots (no offense to my Neast boys out there).
It is also imperative in my life to surround myself with dynamic and diverse personalities where I feel that no two people I am close with will be the same. This mirrors Bussel’s idea of being different with each person we encounter, which could create a pleasant and successful juggling act for us strong willed single people out there.
Juggling is not for everyone, I will admit. However, if you give it a shot you could be pleasantly surprised. But in a word of seriousness, be safe, be honest and never book two dates in one night.