Good morning, fellow students of higher education. And speaking of education, it’s time you brushed up on your cooking skills, because, let’s face it: You don’t have any. And if you do, you’re a nerd.
I know you’d rather be drinking than cooking. But if you and your roommates happen to be without adults who can cook Thanksgiving dinner, starving isn’t really that cool. This is why I’ve taken great pains in providing you with the easiest recipes around. Not even you, my good little students, can screw this one up.
Unless you can’t read. Then you’re on your own. In any case, enjoy!
What to do:
Talk with your roommates about what you want to eat. But don’t get all creative and think you’re going to cook something fabulous. This is a 101 class, people – not senior seminar.
Instant Mashed Potatoes
During my sophomore year, my friends and I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner. It was marvelous – until a girl with about five brain cells and none to spare put the mashed potatoes in the microwave. In a METAL pot. Sparks flew. Yeah. She didn’t eat with us that night.
Moral of story: Read all the directions…carefully.
Green bean casserole
So…you still don’t like veggies, eh? Well, tough. You’re not 5 years old anymore. They’re good for you. Plus, they make you regular. With all of that campus food you’re consuming, you probably need that kind of normalcy in your life.
– 1 can cream of mushroom soup, 10 3/4 ounce
– 4 cups cooked green beans
– 1/8 teaspoon pepper
– 3/4 cup milk
– 1 1/3 cups fried onions
Mix soup, milk and pepper in a 1 1/2-quart casserole dish. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup of the fried onions. Bake for about 25 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Top with the remaining 2/3 cup fried onions and bake about five more minutes, until onions are lightly browned. Serves six.
I personally don’t know how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey, so why would I give you a recipe for one? I’m not all about making you think I know how to cook real food. Misrepresentation is not my style. I’m culinary challenged. That’s why I’m writing to you, after all.
Anyway, Hamburger Helper is easy to make. There are lots of different flavors from which to choose.
Go out for ice cream. Or buy a Tasty Kake. They’re Philly born and raised, you know.
Nina M. Sachdev can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.