ENOUGH WITH THE AWARDS!

Have you noticed that there seems to be an awards show on television for just about every single category under the sun? This thought came to me as I was watching television last week, and

Have you noticed that there seems to be an awards show on television for just about every single category under the sun?

This thought came to me as I was watching television last week, and while flipping through the channels I came across ESPN. They were showing a repeat of the ESPY awards that, besides serving as a shameless self-promotion for the network, honors the achievements of people in the world of sports. The very same afternoon the nominees for the Academy Awards were announced.

Unfortunately, we are in the middle of a blizzard of awful award programs. In January, we had the Golden Globe Awards. This month, in addition to the ESPY Awards, we also have the Grammy Awards. In March, we have the TV Guide Awards, as well as the Academy Awards. There are probably many more similar programs shown during this three-month period, but I can’t think of their names off the top of my head, nor does it really matter. The point is that there are far too many programs like this on television today, and many of them are too identical to each other.

For example, the Emmy Awards are supposed to honor the achievements in television. However, the Golden Globes and the TV Guide Awards are supposed to honor achievements in television as well. So what’s the point of having three different awards shows for the same category? With all due respect to avid TV viewers, who cares if the TV Guide Awards allow people to vote for their favorite shows? If that’s the case, what are the People’s Choice Awards for?

Personally, I’m getting sick and tired of seeing awards shows that feature celebrities reading prepared speeches. I’m also sick and tired of hearing forced laughter from members of the audience after hearing feeble attempts at telling jokes. Some entertainers think so little of these events that they might show up drunk, or might not even show up at all. It’s hard to believe that anyone actually watches this stuff.

What amazes me is that these awards shows never seem to go away. Unlike the rip-off game shows of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” (such as “Greed,” “Twenty One,” “Winning Lines,” etc.), the awards shows stay around forever, and new ones are constantly springing up.

However, the award for the worst awards show goes to the MTV Music Awards, not only because it serves the same purpose as the Grammy Awards, but also because MTV has the infinite wisdom to replay the show over and over again.

Here’s what would be a fairly safe bet, if all the awards shows disappeared, never to return again, no one would miss them.

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