In his 15-part series, Matt Flocco gives freshmen a slice of wisdom each week.
If you are single, you have probably attained any of the following by now: a hookup, crush, one night stand, date, friend with benefits or new significant other.
All of these things can be very exciting (or regrettable) and are a huge part of the college experience. That being said, do not let them keep you from making friends.
Let’s be honest: School and a love life don’t exactly mix, especially during freshman year. Between classes, athletics, student organizations and your GTL, life becomes extremely busy.
Not to mention all the anxieties that come with starting a new school year: learning a new city, learning a new school, adapting to a new schedule, trying to figure out how the laundry machines work, trying to figure out who you are, trying to figure out who your friends are.
There are many ways to approach this “issue” of the dating scene in college. Here is my advice for couples that were in a relationship before college and are continuing that relationship:
Good for you. Seriously. But be wary. I have had so many friends who don’t go out at night because they were talking to their boyfriends or girlfriends on the phone or on Skype all night. I have other friends who did not want to go out simply because they thought if they danced with another girl or guy it would be cheating.
It is not cheating, and sorry to say but if your boyfriend or girlfriend has you that whipped and is telling you not to go out at night with your friends, then you may have a problem.
Now, suppose your significant other goes to Temple. That is also great, but my advice is to not get caught up in one another so much. You are both now in college, and you both should get out there and start making friends. It can be together, but it does not have to be. I’m not saying to forget your time together, just remember to spend time alone, too.
For those who have crushes or are just starting new relationships, that is also great. But try not to rush into things. If you do, you may lose your new friends you just started making.
I have had friends who were in relationships for a long time, broke it off, then realized they had lost all their friends in the process of being in a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong here–relationships are good things. But try not to get so obsessed with them. Same thing with hookups. They are fantastic while they last but heavily overrated. Plus, if you go to a party with the mentality that you need to get laid and you fail, chances are you’ll be pissed the rest of the night and miserable the next morning.
However, if you go into a party with the mentality of having a good time with your new friends, and you happen to make out with someone, it comes as a pleasant surprise.
Lastly, drama is overrated. There is no reason to get caught up in petty love-life drama, especially when people start choosing sides. Then the whole thing is just stupid.
Long story short, college only lasts for so long. You will have time for love. It will find you. Spend this time making life-long friends.
Matthew Flocco can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.