You would think this month would be all kisses and smiles, the promise of a New Year and blah, blah.
But sometimes kids, a new year means New Beef. Ask Cam’ron and his new diss track “You Got It.”
The Dipset crew mogul comes after Sean “Jay-Z” Carter like no other, attacking his new job as head of Def Jam, his personal style and subsequent clothing label Rocafella, and even his bubblegum sweet lady friend Beyonce Knowles.
“Beyonce, fiancee?/ Check my second LP/ I might bring her back, that’s your girl, that’s your world / had the thing (effing) singing ’bout slinging crack.”
Damn. The fascinating thing about the evolution of Beyonce, via Destiny’s Child, is that she came in the game on straight R&B, three girls heavy with a cute hood chick sound.
Then, after the group rearrangement and firings, DC went mega-mainstream pop (independent women, anyone?) Now, with the advent of her relationship with Jay-Z, B’s caught between two distinct images.
The release of The Pink Panther is upon us-Beyonce teams with Steve Martin and Kevin Kline, returning to the comedy-caper she test drove in Austin Powers: Goldmember.
Will family audiences appreciate Miss Knowles’ days “singing ’bout slinging crack?” Stay tuned.
Not everyone is bickering, children. Kate Moss seems to be making a ton of friends. Like Lindsay Lohan (currently shooting a John Lennon-assassination flick with a fat-suited Jared Leto), Moss’ rumored replacement at the House of Chanel.
Interesting still, Moss has befriended fellow recovering addict and newly christened thin-guy Jack Osbourne. What do those conversations consist of?
“Hey Jack, bloody hell I’m thin.”
“Hey Kate, me too.”
“Fabulous. Have some sparkling cider, love?”
“Brilliant. Then we can go to Sundance and look at all the snow … maybe do some skiing … make snow angels and – you know I’m talking about coke, right?”
To be a fly on the wall in that room! Unlucky, though, are the flies in Hawaiian cabs.
Web site The Superficial is reporting that cab driver Harden Jamison, of Maui, is suing Paris Hilton for urinating in his cab. Seriously.
Jamison said he mopped up Paris’ pee-pee with a towel he plans to use for DNA evidence in pressing charges.
Paris Hilton, the Human Stain.
Update on last week’s coverage of Isaac Mizrahi: no one knows what the eff to do with him, not even the head of E!
“I’ve hired Isaac because I felt the red carpet work on television, not just on E!, had become predictable, staid and frankly boring.
What I wanted is someone who would bring surprise,” said Ted Harbert, CEO.
Molesting actresses and asking in-depths about bikini waxing. Surprise! I can’t wait to see him at the Oscars.
I didn’t even want to mention it, but I can’t turn a corner without questions about George Clooney and Teri Hatcher. Are they? Aren’t they? Should anyone care?
I can report that the two are neighbors. I can report that secret dates are rumored to have taken place at Mr. Chow in L.A.
I can also report that less than a month ago, Clooney was spotted snogging Lucy Liu by photographers.
Who knows? I’m telling you not to care until they adopt third-world babies or George shows up as a milkman on Wisteria Lane.
You can’t always believe what you hear but, dammit, trust me.
Dirt’s what I do.
Matt Donnelly can be reached at DirtTheFragrance@yahoo.com.