Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Your pining and pushing for the wrong relationship this Valentines . Possible disappointment follows the exchange of boxed chocolates.
Pisces (Feb 18-Mar 20) You would love for your Valentines gift to be a stock option or CD rather than kinky underwear. You’re not really in the mood for love this year.
Aries(Mar 21-Apr 19) Be warned Aries. Love is stampeding your way like a steed of Trojan horses and your gonna enjoy the impact.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)-Love comes to meet you unexpectedly in your cave of solitude this Valentines and it’ll be the talk of the campus community.
Gemini (May 21-Jun 20) This will be a Valentines you’ll never forget as you have finally found that special someone. But look forward to your beau pissing you off the next day.
Cancer ( Jun 22-July 22) This Valentines may not be as sentimental as you would like it but don’t mistake mushiness for love. Accept love in the form that it comes in.
Leo ( July 23-Aug 22) The best gift you can give this Valentine’s Day is yourself. You abound with creative energy and passion so you should let your mate experience this part of you.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) Your love interest brings along a resume’ as your career is enhanced by a new partner this Valentines. This will be a lasting relationship.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 23) Its best that you stay quiet this Valentines Day because you’re likely to hurt love’s feelings. Smack some duck tape on that mouth and start smooching.
Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22) This Valentines Day brings employment as a new love interest brings along with them a job offer. This plans to be an intense Valentine’s day.
Sagitarius (Nov 23-Dec 21) Deviousness and greed sets in as you try to bite off everything that you can chew this Valentines. Beware of ruining you chances of finding a true relationship.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) An old flame reintroduces themselves to your live this Valentines but I suggest you squelch that flame because they’re bad news.
Happy Valentine’s Day from Thoth