Julia Roberts dumps hubby, Oprah wails

Scan-DAL! Authoritative E-rag Popbitch reports that Julia Roberts is using her three-month stint on Broadway as a cushion to split from husband Danny Moder. What’s worse? Oh, I’ll tell you. Oprah Winfrey is the one

Scan-DAL! Authoritative E-rag Popbitch reports that Julia Roberts is using her three-month stint on Broadway as a cushion to split from husband Danny Moder.

What’s worse? Oh, I’ll tell you. Oprah Winfrey is the one squealing. Yes, darlings, the E-rag says Miss Winfrey was overheard telling folks that Roberts will use the time performing in 3 Days of Rain to make the arrangement for a S-P-L-I-T from Danny.

The pair have two children, twins Phinneus and Hazel. Just when I was ready to crown Madonna and Guy Richie as the new couple on the chopping block …

Michelle Kwan withdrew herself from the current Olympic team due to injury. Yeah, I don’t care either. Here’s to you, Michelle, and a lifetime of cereal commercials!

Let us talk about the Vanity Fair: Hollywood issue with special guest artistic director Tom Ford. I think Tom Ford is Greek for “I’m so violently sexy that everyone around me must be naked or I will vaporize them.”

Wait till yall see this issue. I’m talking naked, naked, naked George Clooney, Angeline Jolie and cover girls Scarlett Johansson and Kiera Knightley. Sweetheart Rachel McAdams was to join the girls on the cover.

She even showed up for the shoot but chickened out last minute. It appears Miss McAdams won’t do nudies. Ford didn’t care, he was happy with the strip tease he got.

I’ll tell you what I’m happy with, readers – Ellen Barkin. I live for her. The raspy-voiced bombshell turned Society Wife has fallen upon hard times.

Husband Ron Perelman, chief executive officer of Revlon Cosmetics, served her with divorce papers less than a month ago. A New York Post reporter accosted Barkin in the middle of her flight from their marital Upper West Side home.

Barkin and Perelman’s pad was swarming with burly movers filling trucks with “Louis Vuitton bags, small stuffed animals” and sports memorabilia. The sheer sight of the Post goblin sent Barkin on a screaming tear.

“If you don’t get the f— out of my face, I’m going to kick you so hard in the balls you won’t know what hit you!” Barkin barked. Hell hath no fury like a woman moving from Manhattan.

All right, kids. You’ve twisted my arm. I’ll talk about the Ken Doll. Gay, gay, gay stylist Phillip Bloch has given the classic doll a makeover for a new generation of girls … and pre-adolescent gays.

The New Ken is … um … yes, he’s a big queen. Pooka beads, suspiciously Abercrombiesque beach wear, and of course a messenger bag.

Will the new Ken sell?

No comment. And as long as we’re talking about ambiguous males, bosom buddies Ben Affleck and Matt Damon will reunite on the big screen in a new flick for Disney.

Inspired by a true story, the pair will play two lawyers who spent 15 years getting a murder conviction overturned. What’s more? The legal eagles were from a Philadelphia firm.

Will the movie come to town? It won’t be the first time for Ben, here two years ago filming Jersey Girl with then-fiancee Jennifer Lopez. I have a feeling this project will be much more amicable-and hopefully profitable? Ben needs a hit like a junkie.

Quote of the Week: “Bryan [Bradley, Fashion Designer] is one of my absolute favorite dreamers. I feel like I want to start starving myself so I can wear those clothes now,” said Atoosa Rubenstein, editor of Seventeen Magazine.

Yes, the Seventeen that dictates young girls’ body image. Lighten up, though. All is fair in love and Fashion Week.

Matt Donnelly can be reached at DirtTheFragrance@yahoo.com.

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