I’m not your typical college student. Sure, I’m ridiculously attractive and overwhelmingly cool, more so than most other college students, but that’s not at all what I’m talking about.
It’s the bar scene that sets me apart from most.
I go to bars and I imbibe alcohol. This is pretty standard. But while most students go to bars to get soused and find a mate for the night, I go to showcase my uncanny ability to answer stupid trivia questions.
It started with Photo Hunt on the Megatouch game screens and some various word games. About a month ago, I stumbled upon something much greater.
Quizzo. One word. Six letters. A lifetime of memories.
OK, not really. More like one night a week of memories. It’s still a pretty fun game and the winner gets a $25 bar tab, so I can’t complain.
It occurs every Thursday night at my local
bar (yes, I play trivia games on the most sacred day of the collegiate week – good ol’ Thirsty Thursday). It’s a simple quiz game in which teams of people compete to answer questions by writing them down.
There are four rounds, each consisting of 10 questions. In one round you get to double your score if you feel you did well by checking the “Joker” box. That’s all. It’s really that easy.
The first week, we absolutely dominated
our competition, but somehow finished in second place to a team called “Fly, Eagles, Fly.” We attributed the loss to our team name, which was “We Love T.O.”
Obviously, since none of us are Eagles fans, we decided to get a rise out of the classy diehards at the bar. It worked. We were booed mercilessly. Regardless, we decided to return the next week to prove our skill.
The next week we definitely didn’t win, so I won’t even talk about that. It was week 3, for those of you following at home. We named our team “Plaxico’s Pack,” after Plaxico Burress, a receiver for the New York Giants. More booing and taunting ensued, including one idiotic Eagles fan who couldn’t read “Plaxico,” let alone sound it out. Man, I love Eagles fans.
Anyway, we obviously won. Incredibly, however, we lost to the same team we did in week 1, as they scored an impossible
amount of points in the final round.I’m not going to lie. I was pretty outraged.
We were Mike Tyson and everyone else was collectively Andrew Golota, getting dropped in Round 1. I shared something in common with Tyson that night: I had an insatiable desire for human flesh after the loss. I wanted to bite someone’s ear off.
Week 4, our team name was “R.I.P. T.O.” We figured this would endear us to the locals and give us a better shot of winning. Once again, due to our immense knowledge of useless trivia, especially sports, we were well into the lead going into the final round.
The scores were totaled up, and guess what? We lost. Again. The girl who scored the game got up and left the answer sheets on her table. Slightly inebriated, we figured we might as well see how exactly she scored the last round.
We found the winning team’s sheet for the last round and noticed they only got six correct, but the girl scored them as having nine. And guess what team it was? “FLY, EAGLES, FLY!” That’s right. Like the Hardy Boys, we solved the case of the Quizzo cheaters.
The three of us confronted the scorekeeper,
who appeared noticeably flustered. She stammered and said she must have scored it wrong. I shouted at her. There was no holding back.
I then found the team she was conspiring with and told them their gig was up. Both they and the girl bought us a free pitcher because they knew we had them busted.
In two days we return to play Quizzo. Hopefully, we survive. Wish us luck.
Mike Gleeson can be reached at email@example.com.