Senior tourism and hospitality major Rob Szostak said he really enjoyed the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin. But afterward, he had a revelation.
“Oh my God, that’s me,” Szostak said.
Szostak isn’t 40, but he wears his virgin status proud. Szostak said he’s waited this long, and now it all depends on meeting the right girl.
The notion of waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right seems to be keeping a lot of college students’ legs closed and pants up.
“I’m very adamant about waiting,” said senior communications major LaNeshe Miller. “Sex is something that should be saved as something special.”
Miller and Szostak aren’t alone in their beliefs. There are countless Facebook groups where students can band together and support each other’s choice to remain a virgin. Szostak is a member of the “Waiting for Marriage” group, and Miller is a part of the “I’m Going to Have Amazing Sex When I’m Married” group.
Szostak’s openness with his sexuality has opened the message boards to comments from the sexually active side.
“One guy called me a disgrace to mankind,” he said. “Guys look at me like ‘what are you doing wrong?’”
Even Szostak’s grandmother has gotten in on the criticism. She always asks him when he’s going to get a girlfriend. His family doesn’t know that he is a virgin. He said he’s embarrassed enough of them constantly asking about his lack of relationships.
Girls can also be harsh to Szostak’s situation. He said that one girl thought he was gay.
“The only time girls think it’s nice is when they regret the first time they had sex,” Szostak said.
For Miller, her family is very supportive and expects her to remain a virgin until marriage, but her friends have a different idea of what she is doing.
“My friends think it’s an old-fashioned opinion,” Miller said.
Her boyfriend has also given her some grief about her decision.
“My boyfriend went into it knowing that’s how I felt, but then he said, ‘I love you, let’s do it.’ Now he’s waiting with me, and I think he might be the one,” Miller said.
Junior criminal justice major Joshua Bouldin has also had some issues with the opposite sex over his choice to wait.
“I’ve met women, and part of their lifestyle is to have sex, and that’s not something I do,” Bouldin said. “It would cause too much conflict to be in a relationship with them.”
Bouldin said he believes that sex inside of marriage is great and that sex outside of marriage is detrimental. He said he’s seen the problems that sex outside of marriage can cause.
“My father had sex outside of marriage when he was younger and has had children outside of marriage now, and it’s caused a lot of grief,” Bouldin said.
As the president of Chi Alpha Campus ministry, Bouldin said he and the group encourage people not to have sex outside of marriage, but that ultimately people will choose what they want to.
“I don’t think of them less as a person, but I think they’re making a bad decision,” Bouldin said. “But if they come to Chi Alpha, we wouldn’t think any less of them.”
Miller said that whatever a person’s choice is, they shouldn’t be pressured into it.
“I don’t judge people,” she said. “It’s fine if you’re going to do it for a reason for yourself.”
LeAnne Matlach can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.