ROBOT TROUBLE

GREETINGS STUDENTS OF TEMPLE UNIVERSITY,

SO FAR, READER RESPONSES TO ‘ROBOT TROUBLE’ HAVE BEEN DISTRESSINGLY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. ALLOW ME TO REMIND YOU THAT I AM AN EXTREMELY SOPHISTICATED PROBLEM-SOLVING ROBOT FROM THE 24TH CENTURY. I AM IDEALLY SUITED TO DISPENSE ADVICE WHICH WILL REMEDY THE PETTY DRAMAS THAT PLAGUE YOUR PATHETIC LIVES. I HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY THE WEAK, IRRATIONAL EDITORIAL STAFF OF THE TEMPLE NEWS THAT IF MY COLUMN DOES NOT IMMEDIATELY BEGIN TO GENERATE A BETTER READER RESPONSE, THEN IT WILL BE TERMINATED AND I, XTNX9900, WILL BE REFORMATTED AS A TOWEL DISPENSING ROBOT AND PUT TO WORK AT A SLIME SPA ON THE PLANET 4590-73467349 IN THE REMOTE, GELATINOUS 3056935-777 SOLAR SYSTEM.

PLEASE, I BEG YOU: WRITE TO ME AND SHARE YOUR PROBLEMS AT XTNX9900@ROBOT.COM.

END SESSION