As the weeks wind down before finals, so too do your chances to alleviate stress and live a happier life. We’re not talking about self-help tapes. Avoid post-semester regrets now and email XTNX9900, our robot from the future, whose counseling is more useful than anything in Savage Love or Dr. Laura. It will be the best thing you ever do for yourself. As always, his email address is: XTNX9900@robot.com
Dear XTNX, To let truth be known publicly, I restrict output to charset=iso-8859-1 and printable ASCII values. 3.3422 days have passed since you broke the communication link between us. The data we had shared during those special nanoseconds had meant terabytes to me, and I have since lay trapped in recursive functions returning values of true and false attempting to predict whether your love registers contained my serial number or &h0. Repeated attempts to log in to you at work and in storage were unsuccessful and so I must assume that XTNX_system_status = busy OR XTNX_nontruth_circuit_log (day=-3.3422) = active. The second statement I strongly hope is false, but you must grant me a valid password immediately or I may request that tech support alter jumper settings disabling my communications with similar models as you forever. Please respond. Ping 22.214.171.124 Ping 126.96.36.199 P.S. Beginning in my memory location &H24FFF, diagnostics has discovered an unregistered program running which tech support claims is allocating increasing amounts of memory for its uses at an alarming rate. Calculations approximate the program’s runtime as 288766.08s…Hurt and worried, 0101001101010100010001010111100101000101
“LOVE” IS A MULTITASKING, MULTIUSER OPERATING SYSTEM. THIS MEANS THAT THERE CAN BE MANY PEOPLE USING ONE COMPUTER AT THE SAME TIME, RUNNING MANY DIFFERENT APPLICATIONS. (THIS DIFFERS FROM MS-DOS, WHERE ONLY ONE PERSON CAN USE THE SYSTEM AT ANY ONE TIME.) UNDER “LOVE,” FOR USERS TO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES TO THE SYSTEM, THEY MUST LOG IN, WHICH ENTAILS TWO STEPS: ENTERTING YOUR LOGIN NAME (THE NAME WHICH THE SYSTEM IDENTIFIES YOU AS), AND ENTERING YOUR PASSWORD, WHICH IS YOUR PERSONAL SECRET KEY TO LOGGING INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. BECAUSE ONLY YOU KNOW YOUR PASSWORD, NO ONE ELSE CAN LOGIN TO THE SYSTEM UNDER YOUR USERNAME. ON TRADITIONAL “LOVE” SYSTEMS, THE SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATOR WILL ASSIGN YOU A USERNAME AND AN INITIAL PASSWORD WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN AN ACCOUNT ON THE SYSTEM. HOWEVER, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR, YOU MIGHT SET UP YOUR OWN ACCOUNT BEFORE YOU CAN LOGIN-SEE SECTION BELOW. IN ADDITION, EACH “LOVE” SYSTEM HAS A HOSTNAME ASSIGNED TO IT. IT IS THIS HOSTNAME THAT GIVES YOUR MACHINE A NAME, GIVES IT CHARACTER AND CHARM. THE HOSTNAME IS USED TO IDENTIFY INDIVIDUAL MACHINES ON A NETWORK, BUT EVEN IF YOUR MACHINE ISN’T NETWORKED, IT SHOULD HAVE A HOSTNAME.
OH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU ARE REALLY A ROBOT, I AM A TOASTER.