They aren’t Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, and watching Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey’s MTV reality show Newlyweds is sometimes painful. Yet it is impossible to turn the channel.
The concept of the show seems simple enough: follow around two newlyweds, albeit famous ones, for six months after their wedding. It’s obvious that there will be fights during the adjustment period, but not even MTV could have foreseen that America would find the vapid statements of a rich and spoiled pop star endearing.
Simpson’s life is enviable. She’s wealthy and pampered with a gorgeous (not to mention patient) husband, and has never had to lift a finger in her life. But who would fold clothes when they have enough money to hire maids?
Unlike her Osbourne predecessors, Jessica hasn’t eaten any bats, but if someone told her it was chicken, she probably would.
Most famously, there was a moment in the show when she asked her husband if the Chicken of the Sea tuna she was eating was really tuna or what it’s name said-chicken. (The Chicken of the Sea tuna company invited Jessica to come to one of their staff meetings to make sure she wouldn’t be confusing fish with chicken again.)
When offered a buffalo wing, she said, “I don’t eat Buffalo.”
You get the idea.
Nick’s reaction to her comments are also priceless, with his anal attention to cleanliness not mixing well the actions of a girl who has never had to pick up after herself.
Although some of the show’s situations seem a little too convenient, it at least seems real, unlike most home invasion reality TV shows. They signed the deal for the show to coincide with the release of their solo albums, but their banter is unscripted.
MTV couldn’t make Ted Nugent seem normal and they certainly can’t make Jessica Simpson seem smart, and why would they want to?
Critics who would normally turn their noses up at the show love it.
Meanwhile, the ones that hate it seem to have jealousy that someone so dumb can be so famous.
Reviewers are right when they say that Jessica is crude and dense. She constantly makes burp and fart noises with her husband and refuses to do work around the house.
People are watching, regardless. For a cable show, its ratings are huge, which says a lot considering MTV will rerun any show into the ground. The show has been renewed for another season, and if Nick and Jessica’s careers as singers doesn’t last and their marriage does, they’ll definitely have a future with “Newlyweds.”
Face it, we love to laugh at stupid people, especially celebrities, and especially when they don’t realize what they’re saying isn’t intelligent. It makes us feel better about ourselves. If we can’t be as rich and famous as Jessica and Nick, at least we’re smarter.
Marea Kasten can be reached at email@example.com.