The first bathroom potential students see while waiting for their tour of Temple is spotless. The traffic flow varies, during tour times it’s heavier, but the majority of the people using the bathroom are waiting for a tour, while Temple employees working on the same floor have a private bathroom. Every well-stocked stall is supplied with at least three toilet-paper rolls, reassuring future Owls that their tuition fees do not go to waste.
The men’s room didn’t quite live up to its female counterpart with only one of the four stalls usable. The floors and seats were littered with toilet paper, presumably left by timid high school visitors not leaving anything to chance.
The echoes and sounds in the hallways make this a bad place to use the bathroom, but any high school seniors who have enough gall to mess around while waiting for the Temple tour to begin should be admitted on the spot.
TECH Center, second floor
The Welcome Center bathroom still looks brand new compared to the already aging second-floor bathroom of the TECH Center. Stall talk can be heard from the hallway, ladies, so be careful of how much you vent about your group project members. Heavy traffic in the popular center can make for awkward moments waiting to use facilities, and apparently the universal symbol for “out of order” is a black trash bag on the toilet. Both bathrooms featured this Hefty-bag communication. Perhaps the facilities weren’t meant to handle the sheer volume of full bladders walking through the TECH Center every day.
Anderson Hall, first floor.
The girl’s bathroom is showing signs of age, but it’s not dirty or unclean, and it was well stocked. The traffic level varies, with increased traffic between classes. The facilities are not conducive to mirror checkups. With only three mirrors in a nine-stall bathroom, you’re going to have to look over someone’s shoulder during peak times. For actually using the bathroom, it’s fine; with the high-stall volume your stall time will go unmonitored.
The men’s side boasts nine urinals and six stalls that seem to be seldom used. So unless the whole football team converges at once, you should be able to avoid all of the awkward bathroom moments that come with urinals and no dividers.
Sex here is not recommended due to the poor ventilation that leaves the bathroom smelly. It could, however, be an excellent place to have a water fight, with the nine sinks in close proximity to each other. Incidentally, Anderson features the most cryptic and entertaining stall graffiti, with one message reading, “!@#$ George Washington UH!”
Student Center, second floor
If you are looking for the place to hold your next clandestine meeting, check out the second floor Student Center bathroom. Because of the wet floors in the ladies room, it is recommended you keep everyone standing as much as possible. The men’s room proved to be the best bathroom on campus both for going to the bathroom and for recreational purposes. It is the cleanest, quietest and most private bathroom on campus. Traffic is pretty slow in both rooms, but because of the wide-open stalls everyone who enters will hear your every sound. Luckily the sounds stop at the second door, where one would have to be very loud in order to disturb your schoolmates, studying before their next class outside (if they only knew!).
Paley Library, first floor by the elevators and ATM
Hot spot bathroom! Close access to elevators, an ATM and machines that dispense copies, stamps, tampons, Advil and Tylenol, this bathroom, located on the first floor of Paley, is one-stop shopping for the ladies. But after you’ve spent all your cash and settle into the stalls, unless you want the boys to hear, turn on the air dryer. That’s right, you’d think with all the outside noise of the elevator they wouldn’t be able to hear, but conversation can be heard through the walls. The Paley restrooms also proved that while most guys prefer to do their business in dead silence, girls prefer their bathrooms buzzing with conversation. So, girls: Either put the dryer on, or work it to your advantage by gushing about how hot you thought so-and-so looked as he walked into the men’s room.
If all goes well, it is recommended that the guy’s bathroom be used for rendezvous. With only three stalls in the girl’s room, the male patrons may be more willing to “take one for the team” by waiting in line so one of their fellow boys can take the ultimate study break.
Tuttleman, first floor
With green decor, medium-traffic levels and a roomy handicap stall, Tuttleman’s first floor restroom might be the ultimate bathroom getaway. Between all the traffic of Temple’s 24-hour building, you can feel free to take care of business and even have some fun, all in private, without creating the uncomfortable lines everyone dreads. You could even use Tuttleman as a sweet escape route from an uncomfortable stalker, male or female. Tell them you have to make use of the facilities, wait until they get distracted by the armed forces, or the latest issue of The Temple News, and then sneak up the stairs across the hall from the bathroom! The around-the-clock accessibility guarantees you’ll have plenty of time to hide, and they’ll be downstairs wondering what exactly you ate at the Student Center to make you take this long.
All you need is a jazz band playing in the corner and this bathroom quickly turns into the classiest place you’ve ever been. Marble floors that you can see your reflection in, the sweet smell of complimentary Bath & Body Works products and your own sink and throne might make this place your own home away from home when you’re looking to unwind in an oasis of class and sophistication. You can really “get away from it all” here. If you choose to taint this heaven with your sinful acts, you will defiantly get a thrill, the great ventilation and close proximity to the president will leave you wondering how extreme the consequences are of getting caught. This isn’t the bathroom President Adamany uses, however. If you’d like to use the same bathroom as the president you better be able to hold it for a while – the secretary informs us that you will need an appointment. One can only imagine.
CAMPUS Safety Services headquarters
With the cleaning supplies in the corner, Campus Police’s bathroom, which is officially cleaned once a day, can be maintained all day long by its inhabitants. This bathroom is one of the only bathrooms to offer reading materials on a variety of subjects, including all of Campus Police’s resources and public safety information, right outside its door. And it’s the safest bathroom to use on campus! If you are able to pull off a sexual encounter in this bathroom with the frequent passing by of policepersons, hats off to you. Even if you don’t, it should be an entertaining trial.
Liacouras Walk 7-Eleven
While many party-goers hit up this hot spot on the long walk back to Johnson and Hardwick halls on weekends, most Temple students prefer to wait in lines by the register rather than by the Slurpee machine. With its seat covers and unexplained shelves, 7-Eleven has interesting features that can leave one wondering the purpose behind all things.
Let the hum of the machines outside the door take you back to those nights where the 7-Eleven bathroom seemed like a godsend. Assuming there isn’t a line for the bathroom, this one-room stall would be a good place to get most of your business done. You could even swipe a magazine for added entertainment. However, with lots of delicious food outside, a vicious cycle may occur.
The Barton Hall ladies room features informative STD posters and a full-length mirror giving it an edge over the competition as the most insightful bathroom – you can learn how to stay clean and look lean. With only two stalls, it makes for a quick in-and-out, ladies, so leave the lads out of this one and maybe save your “experiments” for a break during class.
The men’s room isn’t as fun (or as educational). The congestive quarters makes going to the bathroom only possible after you have navigated your way to one of the two stalls. While inspecting the bathroom, one student immediately walked out after seeing the amount of guys lining up. And another guy even checked one of the stalls before leaving, deciding that the toilet was not exactly up to snuff.
Fox School of Business, first floor
Fox School of Business’ bathroom features the campus’ best decor with a ’20s futuristic style, similar to an old bank that Bonnie and Clyde would rob. But this business school isn’t the best place to do your business. It’s a little smelly and a booster seat in the women’s room leaves one puzzled, but business students probably understand with their hyperactive right side of the brain.
This is, however, the best place to wait for a friend who can’t wait to do their latest business, as just outside the bathroom there is a bench overlooking the Founders Garden where you can daydream. The men’s room wins the award for dirtiest bathroom with tons of wet towels on the floors and slimy metal doors. There was even an empty bottle of GNC multi-gels next to a copy of The Temple News.
Unless you’re an Eskimo, don’t attempt any romantic encounters due to the bathroom’s cold temperature.
But in true spirit of the business school, the student who passed in and out seemed undaunted and ready to get back to work. Another student was able to write a text message while standing at the urinal. Now that’s efficient.
Ellen Fleming can be reached at email@example.com and Sean Blanda can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.