Some call it Naturism, others say nudism. Our parents dubbed it “free love.” For such a liberal university in such progressive times, have Temple students neglected the art of streaking?
Before Nov. 2, Temple students did little more than live, eat, breathe and sleep the presidential campaigns. Casual lunches and bar room banter seemed more and more like classroom discussions dominated by the names Bush and Kerry. It’s time for Democrats to dry the tears, and it’s time for Republicans to chill with the gloating. They must rally together around something we all can agree upon: fine looking bottoms should not be hidden.
Hey, if Ivy Leaguers can streak, why shouldn’t we?
Since 1970, Princeton University has held the Nude Olympics, an unofficial tradition of parading nude through the campus’ Holder Courtyard. As custom, at midnight of the first snowfall, the sophomore class strolls through their square clad in nothing but their birthday suits. Well, some students sport cowboy hats or Timberlands.
In 1999, the tradition came to a halt when students arrived at the annual stampede so intoxicated that some were hospitalized. Additionally, there were reports of public sexual intercourse that contributed to the suspension of the games.
Imagine waltzing down Liacouras Walk naked. Why not? Just the other day a fellow student of ours was running down the drag shirtless, holding a boom box blaring “Chariots of Fire.” OK, so he looked like a fool, (sweatband and all) but his antic made for a feel-good laugh.
The Princeton Tigers are not the only ones having all this naked fun. Even Harvard University has a skins fest. Their library Web site defines the event, “Primal Scream; the semiannual naked romp that Harvard undergraduates make around the Yard. Primal scream happens at midnight before the first scheduled final exam of each semester.”
These freeing events are not limited to the Ivy League either. Since 1986, the University of Michigan has held the Naked Mile. Graduating seniors strap on Nikes and take a brisk jog through campus on the evening of their last day of classes.
Temple students have devoted enough time to academics; it’s time to reward our hard work. If nothing else, let’s retire the donkeys and elephants and bring out our own wild side.
Even The New York Times has grown tired of this political ranting. The day after general elections they reported that Hamilton College students have made streaking a team activity. A group of students who call themselves “the school’s varsity streaking team” dash through campus on a regular basis. They extended their competition to other schools because, as a team member said, “We kept referring to ourselves as a team and then it dawned on us that if we were, then we’d have to have away games.”
Our football team has a losing record of 2-8. Perhaps streaking is something we’d be better at. Think of all the revenue we could generate. Premium seating season tickets for the football team are $150. Think how we could pack Lincoln Financial Field by presenting our finest naked bottoms.
The rules of this sport are a bit vague, but if we are up for the challenge let’s give Hamilton College a call and show them what we’ve got.
Temple University, too sophisticated for its time, lacks any real collegiate mentality. It’s all work and no play for us Owls.
If our sports teams can’t ignite our school spirit, perhaps a naked tradition can pump some cherry and white through our veins.
If our sense of school pride is defined by the notorious body paint guys at our basketball games, then it’s time for Temple to hang up our jerseys. And if naked sports can’t save us from the conundrum of politics, then perhaps Temple is completely devoid of any old-fashioned superfluous fun.
In the words of Old School‘s Will Ferrell, come on Temple, “We’re going streaking up through the quad and into the gymnasium! Come on everybody, come on!”
Nicole D’Andrea can be reached at email@example.com.