I really think my chances of finding a good roommate are less than those of winning a round at the roulette wheel in Atlantic City. I mean, I just end up with roommate horror stories year-after-year. Well minus one year, but still it’s amazing what happens when you live with someone you think you know.
I am not sure how Temple runs the roommate selection process. They say it’s not random, and they go by the questionnaire that you fill out, but that is a huge lie. Like the kind of lie you tell your professor when you sleep through an exam, that kind of lie. So my answers on that questionnaire were something like, I like to study late, sleep late, go out on the weekends, eat at a normal time and listen to my radio. Now this was a couple of years ago, so the forms may have changed, but that is what I wrote.
So move-in day, which should be called manual-labor-for-six-hours day, was a complete surprise. I walked into a body-odor filled, Barbies-everywhere, Japanese-animation-posters-on-the-wall freshman dorm room. Maybe I missed the part on the form where it said check here if mature, or check here if you shower daily, because my new roommate was both immature and smelly.
Oh, and she was anti-social! Or maybe just practicing to be a mime, but in either respect, she didn’t speak. And when she did, it was to tell me to roll her pink Barbie Corvette over or to move out of the way, so she could watch her Japanese cartoon on TV (which she listened to IN JAPANESE).
I bought the song, “I’M TURNING JAPANESE, I THINK I’M TURNING JAPANESE, I REALLY THINK SO,” as a joke, but she didn’t think it was too funny. Of course she didn’t say anything, but her loud grunting kind of tipped me off.
All right, well that was my freshman year. Now this year, my senior year, I have no Temple to blame: no form that got into the wrong hands, nothing, it’s all on me. And this year, things got more complicated. I mean sleeping with a Barbie is immature, but not paying the bills is ruining my credit.
As of Feb. 10, my four roommates and I have accumulated an electric bill close to $900. Now I have to stock up on sweatshirts and kerosene heaters to prepare for the shutoff. It’s crazy. I think we are one of the top users of PECO right now. I mean, I should buy stock or something with our usage. But I keep thinking; if our electric gets turned off, at least everyone will stop cooking my food. I guess I really did luck out on the roommates this year! Thanks guys. Bring on the cold!
So here’s the tip: Never rely on Temple to choose a roommate for you, and when picking your own, don’t pick roommates like a wedgie (quick and slick). Take your time and really think about the people you want to spend a year with.
Be the first to comment