We’re a week away. People are starting to panic. Who will win the election? We can’t think about anything else.
Isn’t it remarkable how one day can be the cause for such commotion worldwide, when only U.S. citizens control its outcome? Or do they?
The election has abducted all forms of communication. It has flooded commercials, news broadcasts, periodicals, radio shows and even sketch comedies. It has infiltrated “nonpartisan” organizations as well as the honest ones. Every conversation circles back to the election; it seems futile to try to avoid it.
“Do you like cats?”
“Sometimes. They can be sneaky and conniving, though. It seems like you can’t trust anything these days. I mean, look at the presidential candidates. They have skeletons in their closets, too.”
Hell, we’ve even got kids regurgitating what their parents told them.
This obsession has led to the second installment of my Election Recovery Plan. After all this hype, what will people have to discuss, protest or market? We’ve got to wean ourselves off this political mentality. The day will come sooner than you think when your propaganda just isn’t relative anymore. Let’s be proactive and intervene before this obsession becomes violent or harmful, to you or to others. I don’t want any sore losers come Nov. 5.
Coping is a useful skill to learn before this election is over. Rather, coping the American way – also known as using defense mechanisms. Maybe denial works for you. Just avoid human contact for the next four years or so.
Perhaps humor is the way you prefer to stifle your feelings. So, to the supporters of Sen. Barack Obama, keep calling Sen. John McCain an old fart; and to those on the other side of the spectrum, keep picking on those liberal hippies. Whatever makes you feel bigger in the end.
“If John McCain wins, I’m going to sing ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ by the British-American rock band Foreigner,” sophomore economics major Thomas Reismeier said firmly.
Another aspect of dealing with this election is attempting to change our theme of conversation. Oh yeah, the Phillies are in the World Series, right? However, that will only last so long. In fact, all pop culture obsessions will soon fade out, and we should learn to ignore them and discuss more significant and long-standing concepts. Try bringing up the benefits of friendship or the humor in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy next time you’re in a circle of friends. These ideas are undisputed and will persist across cultures and time.
But what if you still want to complain about something? Remember, you’re a young adult in college. You should be all over that: school, weeknights, midterms, jobs, classes, dry spells, money, cold weather, homework, parents, friends, lovers and really long tedious papers. I bet you forgot, didn’t you? No worries, you’ll have plenty to whine about even if it’s not politics.
Those companies involved with marketing and advertising are also facing a dilemma: what or who can we sell? Oh wait, America’s got that covered, too. In fact, the Christmas season is starting late this year. Santa’s probably mad about the naughty senators cutting in on his TV time.
“I don’t think I will really miss the election or the political rhetoric or the ads,” sophomore classics major Lauren Faralli said assuredly. “But I will miss Tina Fey cameos on Saturday Night Live that make it almost watchable.”
Closer to home, Temple student organizations are going to have to find other issues to discuss. It’s been speculated before that some of these groups have silent biases toward certain political parties, although they would claim otherwise. I mean, imagine if a member of Students for Environmental Action tried to promote participating in a McCain rally at the meeting. Or better yet, replace SEA with Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance and McCain with Sarah Palin.
Hopefully, the days after Nov. 4 will be full of rekindled friendships, as well as renewed interests in ourselves as well as the world outside TV and Internet blogs. Maybe we should all take a day off for meditation or wandering in the woods so that we can find ourselves again. Because it seems like we’re all a little lost among the left- and right-winged propaganda.
Let’s find a center.
Sarah Sanders can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.