A moment of silence, please, for Arthur Miller.
Another moment for Nicole Kidman’s breasts. Yes, children, according to catty E-rag POPBITCH shooting has been delayed on her latest film Eucalyptus so can undergo breast enhancement surgery. What I can confirm is that shooting, scheduled to start last Monday, has been delayed because the studio agrees “the screenplay is not where we need it to be.”
Mmm-Hmmph. Spies suggest Kidman is undergoing a series of small, subtle procedures to achieve that “perfect” Hollywood cleavage. I say she deserves it. Nikki be smart, safe and love the anesthesia.
Guess who hasn’t had a subtle series of operations to achieve perfect Hollywood cleavage? I won’t name names but, child, take a look at the photos from the Hitch premiere on Ellis Island. A certain Philly boy’s wife looks damn swollen.
Lindsay Lohan’s back in the hospital. You know the girl is damn feverish. Insiders say it’s the stress of her hectic schedule and the brutal divorce war between her parents. Bernie Mac also has the medical worries, having just been diagnosed with respiratory disease. Makes you wanna take a Flintstones vitamin.
Steven Spielberg let the cat out of the bag at a recent press conference with Tom Cruise. The legendary director spilled crucial things about the role of aliens in his highly anticipated War of the Worlds. Spiel reveals that the creatures will invade the earth in tripods, as apposed to saucer-shaped aircrafts. Cruise was shocked at the revelation, having been under strict no-speak orders from his director.
Spielberg assures sci-fi geeks that he wants to pay truckloads of “homage” to H.G. Wells and his progressive work of fiction. The film also stars Tim Robbins and tiny-tot Dakota Fanning.
Oh the rumors, baby!
Here’s a good one: whispers that Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz are headed to Vegas for V-Day. Wonder if they’ll stumble into any chapels?
Model Joanna Bond told Page Six that she walked into Usher’s London hotel suite and some a six-some going on. Yep. Three guys, three girls and lots of confessions. She added she was “powerless to resist” the bed-wrestlin’ and that Usher was “impressively built where it matters.” Yahtzee!
Got some dirt on Paris Hilton. The celebutante graces the cover of Playboy’s March edition. Here’s the rub-she never posed for the cover. She never did a nude spread for the mag. I’m telling you-some editor went onto Getty Images and lost they damn mind. Paris’ reps are not well. Some questions came up around the authenticity of the photo, but reps confirm the photo is of Paris and is authentic. Damn.
And what shall I leave you with-the sad state of affairs at Details magazine. Those dirty simple bitches put Kevin Federline-Mr. Britney Spears-on their March cover. I…I…you know what, I can’t. I can’t even speak on it. Let someone else bless Federline with press.
Matt Donnelly can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.