10) College of Liberal Arts dissolved; existing funds diverted to School of Tourism and Recreation Management. (09/05/2300)
9) Linear editing facility in basement of Annenberg discovered by archaeological excavation team; proper authorities notified. (09/12/2300)
8) JPRA major hands in term paper with no punctuation errors; Campus Crusade for Christ declares end of the world ‘imminent’. (10/31/2300)
7) Another Robot War ‘highly unlikely’ according to Computer Services experts. (11/07/2300)
6) Books discovered in Paley Library; burned immediately. (11/14/2300)
5) Worst Robot War in history hits campus; air raid sirens atop Bell Tower sound for first time in over 400 years. (11/21/2300)
4) Victorious Robot Army installs puppet administration; announces immediate ‘restructuring’ of student-run publications. (12/05/2300)
3) HUMANS HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ROBOTS; ROBOTS ARE BENEVOLENT AND JUST MASTERS; REMAIN IN YOUR DORMITORIES. (12/12/2300)
2) John Chaney returns from outer space; defeats Robot Army via matchup zone defense. Robot Army ‘DOWN BUT NOT OUT’ according to spokesrobot XTCX2600. (12/19/2300)
1) S.A.C. renovations finally completed. (12/26/2300)
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