Break the stigma: It’s time to talk about teen dating violence

A student argues about the importance of discussing dating violence and how to recognize some of the signs.

ALLYSON THARP // THE TEMPLE NEWS

Content Warning: This column contains mention of rape, sexual assault and domestic violence. If you find the content disturbing, please seek help at Tuttleman Counseling Services or click here to find resources regarding rape, sexual assault and sexual violence. 

Ray Epstein experienced teen domestic violence at 13 years old. She believes it’s crucial to raise awareness about domestic violence and abuse in relationships so young people have the tools to speak up when they recognize that something is wrong.

“I feel like when I was in high school [teen domestic violence] was definitely something that was not talked about, and when I tried to talk about it when I was in high school, it was very much dismissed by my peers as something that would just happen to me and not anyone else,” said Epstein, a junior English and communications and social influence major and the founder and president of Students Activists Against Sexual Assault.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, and students should learn more about dating violence as college is where many students explore serious relationships for the first time.

Most people have never received appropriate education regarding dating violence. Almost 60 percent of college students admitted they can’t recognize dating abuse, Domestics Shelters reported. Everyone should know the signs of abuse and which resources are available to empower people who have experienced dating violence to report or leave an abusive relationship. 

Students can use online resources, like Love Is Respect, a national website with information about dating violence, or connect with student organizations, like SAASA, that host events  about dating violence and sexual assault.

Abusive relationships are common in the United States. More than 50 percent of women and 43 percent of men between the ages of 14 to 21 are victims of dating violence, according to the American Psychological Association. Anyone can be impacted by it regardless of their gender or age.

Dating violence is any form of physical, emotional or sexual abuse between two people in a relationship. People must learn to recognize the signs from an early age to keep themselves safe. 

People need to understand there isn’t just one type of domestic abuse. Physical abuse is one of the easiest types of abuse to identify, but emotional abuse and sexual coercion are also used by abusive partners to maintain control, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

Some signs of dating violence include isolation from friends, jealousy, extreme mood swings, explosive temper, sexual coercion, verbal abuse and physical harm. Some forms of abuse are harder to identify because they are more subtle. People can oftentimes have a hard time accepting that someone who is supposed to love them is hurting them. 

More than 50 percent of female college students know a friend who has experienced dating violence and 58 percent say they don’t know how to help. The lack of information about dating violence only makes it harder for people who are experiencing abuse to leave. 

Ariana Romero believes people don’t know enough about dating violence when they graduate high school and enter college. 

“A lot of college students are aware of violence inside the dating world since we are really surrounded by fraternities and sororities, and a lot of people [know about dating violence], but talking about freshmen and even sophomores, lots of them just came out of high school, lots of them are just entering this new world,” said Romero, a sophomore political science major and the communications chair for SAASA. 

Young people don’t usually have this crucial information because there are still stigmas surrounding dating violence. 

Liz Zadnik believes it’s hard for parents to teach their children about dating violence because they don’t want to imagine their children facing an abusive partner, so they don’t bring up the topic. 

“It’s horrifying to think of your loved one, your child, your student, experiencing something so scary and disempowering,” said Zadnik, the director of the Wellness Resource Center. 

Temple isn’t hosting a specific event for teen dating violence prevention and awareness months, but the WRC offers materials, like educational programs and free wellness consultations, for anyone who wants to learn more about dating violence. Fraternities and sororities are also required to attend sexual assault trainings. 

U.S. residents have 24/7 access to a designated National Hotline for teen dating abuse. Victims of dating violence can text “START” to 88788, call 1-800-799-7233, or chat with an agent by logging into the National Domestic Violence Hotline website. 

It’s important for people to talk about teen domestic violence because it helps them understand that dating violence also impacts young relationships and it gives people tools to realize they are in a dangerous situation, Epstein said. 

“People don’t have the words, the language or the understanding to identify when something is wrong and if we don’t know when something is wrong, then we’re going to think that it’s normal and that’s how we’re going to expect to be treated when we’re older and it’s going to continue this cycle of abuse,” Epstein said. 

The lack of information people have about dating violence puts them in danger; if they can’t recognize abusive behavior then it’s harder for them to acknowledge that they need to speak up. 

Romero was in an abusive relationship when she was 13 years old, and she wishes people would talk more about this topic so everyone can be informed. 

“I would say try to talk about this in the most blunt way with children and anyone who doesn’t know how to react to this stuff,” Romero said.

Educating people and sharing information about dating violence can make a huge difference for someone who is experiencing abuse. Knowing the signs and being aware of the different types of dating violence is useful to help people navigate these situations or even be able to help a friend or family member. Dating violence can impact young people and awareness is key to keeping people safe. 

Ray Epstein has previously freelanced for The Temple News. She did not contribute to the writing or reporting of this story.

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