Dirt

So much Dirt. Take a deep breath and stay with me.

Britney’s pregnant.

Mariah’s emancipated.

Nicole Richie isn’t living the Simple Life anymore.

Break it down – Spears is in a family way. Mariah has reclaimed herself, again, and has managed to produce a good album. The track “Shake It Off” should land her a Grammy. As for Richie, she’s in talks to transfer to another reality show with fiancé DJ A.M. (Adam “loves it” Goldberg).

Who, then, will shuffle across the globe with Paris, eating Taco Bell and pouting? Contactmusic.com says Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod, is in talks.

On Friday, rapper DMX caused a three-car collision on the Major Deegan Expressway in the Bronx. He charged one car and brought it right smack into a police cruiser. All were treated for minor injuries; DMX was arrested and shortly after released, so says MTV (who will most likely develop a reality show in which DMX takes a Road Rage workshop).

Anderson Cooper, that silver fox of CNN, is as ambiguous as ever. But dig a little for the snaps of him at Paper magazine’s Scissor Sisters party. He’s flanked by the likes of legendary tranny Amanda Lepore, Jake Shears and Heatherette publicist Aimee Phillips. Yea… ambiguous. Because all TV anchors kiki in glamour shots with the social elite. He does, however, appear to be the only one not wearing lipgloss.

Let’s talk about first-hand Dirt. I recently enjoyed a night of debauchery with Real World: Philadelphia’s Landon. The Inferno II star came to Temple to speak on behalf of STA Travel and wound up drinking on behalf of the Continental.

Over cocktails, Landon spilled about the real deal of TV editing (“actually it’s pretty accurate”), his future plans (a possible second challenge filming this June) and if he’s dating (he answered off the record … but fear not, I’ll write a tell-all one day and we can all sleep better).

We made our way to Tiki Bob’s and ran into (gasp!) Landon’s reality brethren CT from the Paris cast, who was engaging himself in judging a “tig-ol’-bitties” contest.

Classy.

Speaking of, Eva Longoria emceed last week for the Pussycat Dolls. The girl knows cat, what with working on Desperate Housewives. If you haven’t yet seen the amazing Vanity Fair cover featuring the women of Wisteria Lane, I suggest you pick up a copy.

It’s got all the dirty details of the train-wreck cover shoot during which Marcia Cross had a screaming fit and Teri Hatcher burst into tears. Look for other shots featuring Nicolette Sheridan soaped up, Felicity Huffman lounging poolside and our docile Miss Cross castrating a lawn ornament.

The suburbs are officially back.

Matt Donnelly can be reached at mattdonn@temple.edu.