Have you ever wondered what happens to couples when one or both sweethearts go off to college?
A poll taken recently on Temple’s campus showed 76 percent of couples in high school broke up either right before or soon after they went off to college. Why?
Could it be the pressure of hard-core academics absorbing quality chat time on the phone? Or the parties and the intimate social environment that diverts your attention?
Some couples convince themselves that their feelings toward each other have changed and decide to split up. The denial of college influence will only last the first year or so.
There are many reasons why couples don’t last long after independence week (the first week of college). One student said that in preserving college love, the individuals involved should first decide whether they want to be in a relationship or not. This is necessary to stay committed to one another. It will save a lot of heartache in the long run if you are honest with yourself.
If you’re not the one-girl kind of guy or the one-guy kind of girl, steer clear of commitment. Be sure that the person who’s got your attention and time will have it for a while and not have to share it with someone else.
Temptation is always lurking for college students.
“Outside distractions can hinder guys’ views on commitment,” said sophomore Ursula Moorer.
This is another possible explanation for break-ups on campus. It’s harder to stay together when someone else is trying to sneak into your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s place.
Breaking away from home life and starting a new life on your college campus can be overwhelming. Your dorm becomes your home. Few people are used to seeing 100 or more men and women on their way to their house.
In the process of getting to know people, you may meet someone who catches your eye or someone who stimulates your mind like no one has before, including the person you are with, which leads to temptation.
Living in the dorms can be an advantage and a disadvantage for relationships.
“One advantage is the living situation,” an anonymous college sophomore said. ” You don’t have to travel far to see the person.”
When asked about a negative aspect of dorm love, she commented, “Everyone is in your business on campus. There are noisy people always asking questions.”
Now, is there excitement in knowing who’s with whom? It’s inevitable that inquiring minds will always want to know the scoop. Getting past those people is the challenge. If they weren’t there, the relationship thing would be a snap.
Some couples do have an understanding when entering college. You agree to talk to other people but still remain together. That’s a relationship no-no, and an example of a get-out-of-jail-free card. There’s no discretion in that agreement. There must be boundaries in a relationship because it is almost impossible to establish trust if both people are free to do whatever with whomever.
With all of these factors in mind, some couples find a way to put all adversity aside and concentrate on relationship. These couples say it is possible to strive for higher education and still be committed to a relationship. Junior Computer Science major Jason Douglass finds time to dedicate to his significant other of a year.
When asked what the secret is of keeping a relationship in college, he replied, “You have to trust the person. Otherwise it won’t work.”
One Temple student, who remained anonymous said, “It is easier to strive for goals when you are already in a mutual committed relationship. There is less stress and you can concentrate more.”
The haters are alive and well. To all the college sweethearts, know where your heart is and stay true to it.
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