Temple Tips

We all know the two most dreaded words in college. When paging through the syllabus on the first day of class, these two words could bring one to drop a course and pick up another. But why is that? Why is it when the words “group project” appear, sweat forms, arm hairs raise and teeth grind against one another? Group projects are horrible, useless and they add stress like nothing else.

The bottom line is that professors just don’t get it. They should not even be called group projects in the first place. In order for that description to serve its purpose, the entire group would have to work on the project. A group with all members participating is less likely than Temple giving us Election Day off. In my opinion, these so-called projects should be called “one person does all the work while the rest of the group does nothing, but still gets the same GROUP GRADE.” Unfortunately, that name is a bit long, and would look awkward on a syllabus.

I have been in college for almost four years and I have not once been blessed with a productive group during a group project. Group projects make me think that I am anal about schoolwork, but I am not. The people who are attracted to my group are just lazy.

One major tip: never, and I mean never, get into a group with your friends. Did I say never? I really mean never. If you and a friend are in a group together, you might as well plan on being in a huge fight. Put on the gloves and wait for the bell because it is bound to happen. I had this group project with my ex-friend Anna. Anna did nothing. I did everything and now we no longer talk. Seems ridiculous, but I know every college student has been in this position at least once.

I think professors do it to sit back, watch and enjoy the show. They assign group projects so: A) they don’t really have to lecture or teach. B) they can go home to their families at night and tell their wife or husband how Julie and Anna were screaming at each other today in class over the group project and how funny it was.

Speaking of professors, what is with the time at the end of class to meet with your group? Come on. We all know that “getting together” time is never utilized. The members of the group end up asking each other what the project is about and then go off on a tangent about the weather or the Phillies or something else irrelevant.

We all pray to be assigned to a group with the brown noser of the class, but that never happens. For just once in my life, I would like to sit back and do nothing and still earn the same grade as the one who sat at home and wrote the 20-page report for the entire group. And not be the one up at one in the morning the day before it’s due, running out of coffee and cigarettes at the same time … Wheeewww … I am not bitter!