A TELEVISION

Dear A. Television,

TV has taught me a lot about myself over the years, so it seemed natural to write to you for advice. I’m 19 and I’ve never lived away from home but the whole living-with-the-folks thing has really started to get to me. I like to make a lot of noise and they are quiet types. I want to watch MTV. They like C-Span. I’m a sophomore now and all of my friends are living in cool apartments in the city. I’m scared because I don’t really even have a job or anything. I just have a fairly large trust fund that I was saving to buy a car. Do you think I should just bite the bullet and find a place of my own?
Sincerely,
IJUSTWANNAPARTYALLTHETIME

Dear IJWPATT,

This is too simple. I almost did not answer your question. I will now quote the sage-like theme song of a certain show we all know and love, “You take the good, you take the bad. Take ’em both, and there you have: THE FACTS OF LIFE!”

At first, nobody gets along with their parents. Your differences seem to outweigh everything else. But, if you give your parents a chance you could learn to respect and even admire your differences. Also, remember when Joanie and Chachi moved out on their own? They only lasted 17 episodes.
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Dear A. Television,
I have a very annoying co-worker. He has absolutely no idea how to handle everyday situations, and it’s really starting to piss me off. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Pissed at Work

Dear PAW,
Do you remember a little show called Mr. Belvedere? Man, Wesley used to piss that guy off a lot! But you know what? Mr. Belvedere was not in the Owens’ household to involve himself in an altercation with Wesley. Mr. Belvedere was in the Owens’ household to WORK! Perhaps you should stop worrying about how your co-workers act; and start worrying about how well you’re doing YOUR job.

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