ASK A. TELEVISION

Dear A. Television,

In high school I was never good with boys and I was hoping I would meet someone in college. Anyway, I met a really cool guy last semester and we really seemed to hit it off. We went shopping all the time and he even went to New York with me to see “Guys and Dolls”. He even goes to get a manicure with me on the weekends. I’m so into this guy and I thought he liked me too, but when I told him about my feelings, he told me he was gay. Do you think this guy is really gay or is he brushing me off? If he is gay, do you think I can change him?

-In love with a homosexual

Dear ILWAH,

Television didn’t really deal with homosexuality in the 80s. But, let’s talk about stereotypes. Watch any sitcom, there’s at least one episode per season on the topic of “not judging a book by its cover.”

So, as to whether your friend is a homosexual — I don’t know.

Now, as to if you “can change him” or not, remember episode 124 of “Diff’rent Strokes?” That’s the one when Arnold’s friend, Dudley, succumbs to peer pressure and begins smoking cigarettes. At the end, Dudley’s father confronts him, and tells Dudley that due to his own smoking, he has to have a lung removed. At the very end, we see a cut-away shot of Dudley’s pop walking out of the apartment — and lighting a cigarette. Not even a doctor could keep him from smoking. People are people, and cannot be changed.
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Dear A.,

Yo! College is totally harder than they ever made it look on the television shows. That’s why I thought I’d write to you. I hope my letter gets in the newspaper because I know that students must be sending you tons of email every day.

Basically, I am juggling so much these days that I am afraid I might explode. First off I’m taking 20 credits. I didn’t think that it would be much harder than the usual 13 I take, but I was wrong! I also hold two jobs. The real job is a top secret government position and on the weekend I lay Astroturf. When I’m not in class or at work, I take tap dance, break-dancing and tuba lessons, not to mention my true love: Pilates classes. I also like to write and make sure that I write my detailed autobiography everyday. My English teacher from high school makes me write 50 loose-leaf pages per day. I guess I can’t shake the “teacher’s pet” title. I also have a boyfriend who lives in Japan that I try to visit every other weekend.

How can I organize my life and do all I have to do to be fulfilled?

-Sure, I Can Handle One More Extra-Curricular Activity

Dear SICHOMECA,

Remember the episode of “Family Ties” where Alex becomes addicted to speed? He tries to take too much on and due to that, begins taking prescription diet pills. He soon becomes addicted, but then crashes hard and misses an important exam at school. So, drop the act… ivities and save yourself from a life of drug addiction.