Control your own fate by keeping your hands off of the wheel

As the semester comes to a close, I find myself wildly optimistic in my oddly Dean’s List-worthy grades, a job lined up to start literally days after I graduate, and minimal summer plans which include having an incredible time doing absolutely nothing.

When I envisioned this last column, I did not picture myself advocating the lifestyle I had been hexing the entire semester, but here I am holding my breath in order to verbalize my next statement. Being in a relationship has been a fear of mine (as you all know from the past eight columns I have written), but I have finally reached the point where having a boyfriend is the final piece of my proverbial puzzle.

I do not want you all to read this thinking I have turned into a sap who believes in love and happily ever after. However, in my version of the fairytale I am living, it is happily ever “thank God I did not give up so quickly on the opposite sex” after.

There comes a point in time where every scar from past relationships easily scabs off and expectations as well as fears quickly disappear. This particular time period lasted about nine months for me, and it was well worth the time and healing. Wearing cynical (like a tight pair of jeans) finally became uncomfortable even when I tried to stretch them out for a couple more months.

I used to believe that the correct remedy for forgetting an ex-boyfriend was to replace him with a shiny new boyfriend before my family started asking, “How are you handling the break-up?” In the past nine months, I have allowed myself to heal by not expecting to find anyone, but rather to meet guys to have fun with right now.

The new beau, who will remain nameless, instantly gave me a reminder to the simplicity involved in just enjoying someone’s company. Naturally, this company became constant, and now I cannot imagine not having him around. It seems to be something organic that keeps us attached at the hip and it is difficult to explain.

I strongly stand behind loving yourself before receiving love from others. When we are able to take into account how much we are worth and that our own beings are commodities to this world, we can easily allow others to believe and feel that as well.

William Shakespeare put it perfectly: “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” We are our own holder of the keys, which keep us running mentally, physically and emotionally. When two people find each other (in the chaos that is life), it is a blessing, but the real miracle is that we are capable of allowing someone to become something we need instead of want.

If you are someone like me who is independent and right away warned guys, “I have a bad temper and I am always right,” allowing the relationship thing to happen again was hard to imagine. However, I realized I reached the point where being comfortable in the eyes of a boyfriend seemed right – sometimes it takes a while, but it is something not to be forced.

Stated bluntly, I want you all to remember that being single is fantastic, but finding someone who gets you by accident is spectacular. Sometimes, allowing life to take its turns without your hands constantly on the wheel is a better idea than you realize.

I want to thank all of you who have read my column this semester, and hearing your comments and feedback was heartwarming and hilarious all at once.

A final thought by Jerry Springer: Enjoy your life even if others do not understand it, be hopeful for positive things to shower your life, and if crap ever hits the fan, go have a cocktail and laugh about your mistakes the next day.

Giavanna Ippolito can be reached at giavanna.ippolito@temple.edu.