Dirt: Trouble in Spearsland

Despite that severe beating (that I may or may not have enjoyed) from Straight Up Sex columnist Nadia Stadnycki, I’ve got to come out of the gate and condemn the brass at Abercrombie & Fitch

Despite that severe beating (that I may or may not have enjoyed) from Straight Up Sex columnist Nadia Stadnycki, I’ve got to come out of the gate and condemn the brass at Abercrombie & Fitch for pulling various slogan T-shirts at the request of two teen girls who protested the casual wear giant. The ladies bawked at such hilarious T-confections like “Who needs brains when I have these?” or, my personal favorite, “I make you look fat.”

While I’m sure shirts like these have an unsavory tone for the progression of women in our society, don’t underestimate the consumer.

While A&F is affordable, the culture behind it is stocked with up-market teens who are well versed in the irony of our image obsessed culture. When a 15-year-old dons a tank reading “My boyfriend is out of town,” perhaps we should ring the town watch.

Still, college-educated boys and girls flexing their spending power on a little nod to pop culture – where’s the harm in that? I say free your T-shirt and the rest will follow.

Alas, the Dirt.

Every, every, everyone is talking about the red zone that is the Spears-Federline residence. War has torn the Cheetos-eating, Yoo-hoo drinking couple apart. The battles range from personal (Is he handling his third child well?) to professional (reports say K-Fed brought home some sample tracks from his forever-brewing debut hip-hop album and Britney laughed in his face).

We’ll see children, the official pics of Baby Preston haven’t even surfaced in People mag yet … maybe they’ll return him to the Jive Records prop department and call it a day.

In casting news, the lovely Sarah Michelle Gellar has just scooped Sir Angry Alec Baldwin to star opposite her in The Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing, an adapted novel. In it Gellar plays a young book editor wooed by publishing magnate Baldwin. Loves it. Look for Gellar next in Richard Kelly’s controversial and star-packed Southland Tales.

Kate Moss on the cover of Vanity Fair looking doe eyed and sorry for the whole snow bunny mess. Work.

HUGE lesbian tip. The Internet is abuzz with girl-on-girl coupling. The Sapphic duo? Queen Latifah and Laila Ali.

Stop the presses. I have to switch gears because I just got leaked some footage from an upcoming Toronto magazine show report on Ashlee Simpson. My sources bought a video from a pedestrian with a camera phone that shows Miss Ashlee flipping out in a McDonalds.

In the clip, she calls a McD’s worker a “bitch” and hops onto the counter twice. Of note: the video was shot a 1:30 a.m. and Simpson is rocked. She slurs repeatedly that she wants to see the manager and bet worker gal $5 million that her manager would be nicer. Oh, girl.

So are we salivating over the writing debut of Nicole Richie? The Truth About Diamonds hit shelves yesterday and is said to be a play-by-play of Richie’s life, names changed of course.

Dish includes A-List friends and enemies (Paris?), drug use, incriminating trysts with older movie stars and the inevitable resurfacing as a thin, fashion forward author. Talk about life imitating art imitating life.

Due to overwhelming response … from Scientologists and PETAphiles, I’ve decided that Dirt gets its own e-mail account where you can send all of your love letters, correspondence and requests for the 3.5 liter Special Edition bottle of Dirt: The Fragrance (look out for the Christmas campaign! Me in a Santa hat with a bottle of Jack Daniels and elves covered in chocolate sauce).

Peace, love and Dirt.

Matt Donnelly can be reached at DirtTheFragrance@yahoo.com.

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