Money, money, money. Where did the love go? I’ll tell you – it’s shacking up with Adam Levine from Maroon 5 and denying every second of it. Oh well, Nick Lachey, don’t worry about it. From the looks of it, the former Mr. Jessica Simpson has let the healing begin.
In his lawyer’s office.
Lachey has asked for full spousal support in a document filed last week in Los Angeles County. The petition directly opposes Simpson’s own divorce request, which refused Nick any alimony.
Lachey also used the papers to define their personal property (their respective jewelry, etc.), as the liquidation is a’coming. He’ll get half. Maybe.
There’s another pop newlywed who wants more than half. In fact, she wants it all – all of her old life back. Miss Britney Spears is dying to get back on the road.
“I miss traveling … seeing different places and being with the dancers and having fun. That feeling of being on the stage, knowing it’s your best – I love that. I needed a break. I needed to be hungry again.”
Judging by the looks of it, Miss Thing, you’re plenty full. In an interview with People magazine, Spears talked of her plans to return to the music scene. Forget that pesky little child at home, go cut some tracks!
Shoot a little video, darling. That husband of yours can always plop the baby in his lap and go for a nice long drive. Oh, the struggles of working mothers!
Some work all day, some work all night. Some work entirely on getting their breasts in their shirts. Pamela Anderson is always a busy mom, busy now boycotting Australian farmers.
Apparently these farmers are doing some questionable things to sheep (no, not that). A practice called mulesing, where farmers cut wool and flesh from a sheep’s behind to prevent bugs from laying eggs, has Anderson and animal activists in a tiff.
All over a little piece of ass. I say good for Pam, protect those fluffy little creatures. Just don’t bring your insane activist posse to fashion shows. That’s what my favorite terrorist group did at London Fashion Week.
The subtle crew from PETA showed up to Julien MacDonald runway and doused the fur-using designer and his premiere model Paris Hilton in flour. That should wash right out, kids.
What we can’t wash out, however, are the terrible live-action comic book flicks we make. Look at Halle Berry. Girlfriend won the prestigious Hasty Puddings award from the acting troupe at Harvard University. The catch, you ask? Berry had to write “I will not make Catwoman II” on a chalkboard four times. Not a bad trade-up or a bad promise.
Should we talk about the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape? No, the tape does not contain footage of the two romping together. Yes, the two engage in conversation while various groupies engage in sex acts. Yes, Stapp made millions with his band Creed based heavily on marketing themselves as Christian rockers. Yes, I love it.
I also love nepotism. Boston-based broseph’s Ben and Casey Affleck are all about spreading the work round the family. Ben has adapted and will direct the movie version of the novel Gone, Baby, Gone. The story follows a male/female team of investigators solving a kidnapping. Casey, the younger brother, was chosen as the lead. How sweet.
I’ll have to start auditioning my own family members to replace me next semester. The Dirt brand should stay in the family.
Matt Donnelly can be reached at DirtTheFragrance@yahoo.com.
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