You might remember that last week my neighbor dropped a term for a sexual fetish even I had never heard before. When probed, he revealed that cassoulet is French slang for armpit licking. Technically, those who lick armpits are termed by the Dictionary of Unusual Sex Practices as axillophiles, with the armpit being the axill. Yes, there are people out there who love and live to lick armpits and make armpits their lives.
Interesting, I thought, and went promptly to that virtual treasure chest of useless information, the Internet, to uncover the sensual secrets of the much-maligned underarm area.
Unsurprisingly, there is a wealth of armpit fetish sites; 3,450 to be exact. In one armpit-admiring chat room, a visitor named Michael answered the query “Why the stinky pit?”–posed by my undercover identity, Pitt222. “I love the smell and feel of hairy, sweaty armpits,” responded Michael promptly, before agreeing to have a private chat with co-axillophile PittieD.
Web site owner Cal writes more lyrically on his site, “The Allure of Armpits”:
“Have you ever thought about how beautiful armpits are? The dark mystery of stubble? The creaminess of dried deodorant?”
Er, no, Cal, not really. But hey, it’s the millennium.
Axillophiles want you to know it’s OK to love armpits. They want you to share your armpits and they want to share theirs. Many axillophiles post pictures of their own or their friends’ armpits on the Web for lucky Internet surfers to stumble upon. For a vast array of anonymous pits, check out the aptly named “Armpit Photo Gallery” at www.geocities.com/hair_pit/.
In addition to precious pictures, APG features a life-size armpit photo complete with a magnifying lens you can use to glide over each hairy follicle. If you’re not interested in just anybody’s pits, but are interested in, say, Brad Pitt’s, go to The Pit Stop site at www.insidetheweb.com/mbs.cgi/mb282938. Armpit lovers can write in for pictures of their favorite celebrities.
One underarm voyeur, Tom, politely requests: “I would very much appreciate seeing pictures of the armpits of Prince Harry, and Jeremy Miller (from Growing Pains); color or black and white.”
Hey, it’s the millennium. Anything goes.