It has been repeatedly brought to our attention that after the night’s fun and cheapness concludes you’re left hanging on how exactly to get home. We made you bring only $20 right? Now what?
Your most obvious bet to saving money on transportation is to not use it at all and just walk. The weather is warming up so walking shouldn’t be all too unpleasant. However, you do need to remember a few things to stay safe.
First of all, you should remain on well-lit and big name streets as much as possible. And it’s really not a good idea to walk home alone if you are traveling more than a few blocks, especially you lady-types out there. We always want the ladies to be safe.
You should also make sure that the person or persons you are walking home with aren’t being ridiculously belligerent. One time we were walking back from Northern Liberties with our pal Suede and at Seventh and Spring Garden streets he informed us that he was sick of walking and that he was going to sleep right there on the sidewalk. After we talked him out of it, he did the same thing every four blocks (Ryan’s note: It was a total of 25 blocks to my apartment. You do the math).
The easiest and most convenient way to get home after last call is to cab it. Problem is, after hanging out at the Plough & the Stars in Old City for the night, you definitely won’t have enough in your wallet to make it on your own. This is where friends come into the picture (Corey’s note: I hear having friends is very hot in ’06).
You may run into some taxi troubles though if you have a friend who has overindulged. Like this one time our friend was throwing up into her hand and then throwing it out of the cab window. The driver got upset and almost pulled over and made us get out in a less-than-friendly area. After shoving what money we had into the cabby’s hand and promising him we would clean it up, he continued to take us home.
If you were clever enough to save at least $2 from the evening, you should get friendly with a little something we like to call SEPTA. “But the subway closes at midnight!” you might say. Well, you know those really big block white things that say SEPTA on them? Those are called buses. They’re like the subway, but they drive around like cars on the street and often stop near where you need to be. They generally run until about 2 a.m. and some of them run all night, like the Night Owl.
If you do take a bus there’s one thing you really need to remember: You are not alone on the bus. There are several other people and they really don’t appreciate your rendition of “Don’t Look Back in Anger” by Oasis. We know, because we’ve been there. You just need to control yourself or a transit cop will show up and yell at you (Corey and Ryan’s note: This happened to us in London once, too).
Worth it for your money? It’s always worth it to get home, unless you can go home with someone else, then it’s not worth it. The smartest, safest and cheapest way to get home? Secure a designated driver (our transportation method of choice). Our beef? None of our friends ever want to be DD.
Ryan T. Barlow and Corey Fenwick can be reached at Over21andUnder20@GMail.com.