Through my pre-coffee morning eye crust, I managed to see something strange. An older woman looks over at me and says, “They’re like horses, huh?” as three girls, all wearing the same style of brown boots with jeans and black coats, were crossing Broad Street. Not only did they look identical, but their unbreakable, horizontal line of walking did resemble horses, as my short-term grandma/street friend pointed out.
What’s going on here? I declare the trending topic of Temple is currently a serious lack of winter style. I realize that for a time period I would wear purple pants with my dark green coat, creating a very unattractive Willy Wonka situation. I also realize most days I look like MTV’s Daria with my newly purchased, black-laced boots. Please note, I do not look like a horse.
In these cold months our outerwear becomes how people see us. Are you wearing a sweater under that North Face that says, “I am more than just a person who wears North Face jackets”? I will never know because it is so cold outside you will not take off said North Face. It really all does come back to Twitter. Your tweets are your coats. Damn, that was insightful.
@2j3_burgerboi: I wear my Nike boots in Gucci I don’t wear no Timbo I kick it any tempo I’m lifted off the indo
Nike, as in “Just do it,” makes boots? That’s awesome. I don’t wear no Timbo either.
@CalviSoDope: UGG boots should really have better grips then that. I think ima jus wear my trap’n boots (timbs) today
I didn’t know that “trap’n” boots is another way to say Timbs. It makes me hate them even more.
@DEADLY_B: If. You had 300 dollars n ya pocket n ya girl need boots but u wanted a nike suit what would u do
God help me, I hope this girl’s dude bought her the boots. A Nike suit? Let me tell you, friend, if your boy gets that Nike suit there won’t be a girl no mo’. To be honest, I don’t even know what a Nike suit is, but it sounds absolutely hideous; as if it would create that obnoxious swooshing sound. More importantly, who the hell has $300 in their pocket?
@Kaykj: Sooo sick of being at school, f—— weather is crappin my style. Just wishin&hopin a friend needs a Sands fix.
Weather has the power to crap? Does weather eat? I’m confused. Should I be more confused about the use of the word “crap” or accepting that this tweeter doesn’t realize she is messing up a simple saying I first heard in the third grade?
Let’s cross our fingers that when the coats come off in a few months an elderly woman doesn’t feel the need to tell me what a group of girls look like. I’ll leave the barnyard animal to your imagination.
Samantha Krotzer can be reached at email@example.com.