Springtime is upon us and besides bringing beautiful flowers and warmer weather, Mother Nature also makes everyone a helluva lot hornier.
It is the time to procreate and further the existence of whatever species you belong to. Unfortunately, for most people who live in campus housing, doing a little bit of the old “in and out” can be difficult when your alcoholic roommate is sitting on his bed staring at you and your mate as if he was watching the Discovery channel.
To some, this situation might be a turn on, but to those that aren’t porn stars, this might let a little steam out of the old hot box. Even if the tent is still pitched, that doesn’t mean everyone is happy about it.
So, where can you go to relieve a little pressure? Go out and hide in public of course.
The first place would have to be by the Bell Tower. Sure, there are lots of people walking by, but that just adds to the excitement. Walk around the grassy knoll and keep your eyes open and I’m sure you’ll find a delightful little spot to drop your load. Don’t worry about where it lands either because there won’t be any sheets to clean up afterward.
Another great place is any elevator that actually allows you to stop it from running. Franklin House has one and so does Annenberg. Just flip the switch from run to stop and let the pants fall as they may.
Women can make it a little easier on their foolish male counterparts by wearing some easy access attire, but don’t sit with your legs open in class or you’ll start having a lot more offers.
This idea is actually borrowed from an old Michael J. Fox film from the 80’s. Nobody knows lovin’ like Michael J.
Many college campuses have huge, cavernous libraries with nooks and crannies galore that can serve as ideal arenas for mating rituals. Paley really doesn’t have enough room for this, but I’m sure you can find a place if you really try.
It is our duty as Temple students to have as much sex as possible in Paley library to warrant an article in Penthouse as one of the top ten places on college campuses to get laid.
Lets face it, before we know it finals will be upon us and stress levels will rise to record highs. What’s the best way to relieve stress? By going to the Big O as many times as possible.
Since you’ll be in the library studying anyhow, why not relieve some stress while you’re there. You’ll never find circuits and electronics so interesting as you do after a quick rendezvous with that hot blonde in your 8:40.
You need to remember a few safety tips before you go out though. Guys are going to want to do it immediately and as quickly as possible. This will lead to disaster. Make sure you scout out the location before hand.
Although, there would be nothing more amusing than coming to climax as a security guard places his hand on your shoulder, this probably won’t bode well on your permanent record.
Here we come Penthouse, in more ways than one.