It’s amazing that as a college senior, I have a laundry list of relationships that seemed so perfect at one point, and I can calculate the exact time and place when they fell apart.
Dating since fifth grade was probably my first mistake. Setting precedents and comparing everyone to each other was definitely my second.
Through the 11 years I’ve been on the market, I found myself being something of a personal consultant for my close girl and guy friends concerning problems, joys and overall confusion within relationships. I write to you all today – and throughout the semester – as a peer with several hilarious and tear-jerking stories to share with you that will hopefully teach, entertain and make your dating world seem a bit more down to earth.
I’ve blamed my single life on several aspects, such as being too busy or being too picky. Although there are millions of reasons that I feel this sense of romantic halt, I can attribute a major chunk of it to that lovely aspect which everyone has at some point in their life: the ex.
If you’ve ever had a failed relationship, you will always have that bone – or in my case, suitcase of bones – in your closet that constantly keeps popping up in your present situations.
Last week, I sat down and began to search for my own answers and I started to write. It began with a simple promise to myself that read: “This is the vow here, to let go of the past in order to move on to the future.” Following these words, I wrote a detailed paragraph about each guy that had affected me from my past, negatively and positively, and made a promise on paper to rid each of them from my thought process.
I went to sleep that night feeling rejuvenated, like I had shed 10 pounds of stress and misery from my body, and my brain for that matter.
I realize that this sounds like a tedious task and may be complete BS to some people, so I decided to see if anyone else has experimented or written about this relationship exorcism.
AskMen.com’s relationship correspondent Alex White wrote about this form of mental cleansing in his “11 Tips for Getting over an Ex.” This tactic fell under No. 4 as he wrote: “Write her a letter pouring out your negative and weepy feelings. Throw the letter away or burn it – don’t send it.”
This was a bit different from what I did, but pretending to send the letter could also help with letting go of the painful and difficult topics that sometimes can never be spoken about.
So, as you embark on a new relationship or stress to the point of binge eating over an ex, take the time to understand that a written form of therapy, as I decided to do, can bring us all several steps closer to becoming revived and confident in our futures with our significant others or potential special someones.
Giavanna Ippolito can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.