Actors have auditions, athletes have tryouts and the Kardashians have genetics. In order to earn that precious spot in the field of your choice, you need to pass the test.
When it comes to relationships, that test is the first date — and the SATs are easy as Kim’s pie compared to that nerve-wracking, awkward encounter with the opposite sex.
While there are other fish in the sea, you only have one chance to make a good first impression.
Depending on the situation, you may be dating one-on-one or tag-teaming for a double date. Although more is usually the merrier, eventually you will be alone with this woman, so you better scratch the surface or else your thoroughbred will be scratched from the romance race.
Here is the best news you’re ever going to read in this column: Asking a girl out is easy.
Seriously, you just walk up to somebody attractive, ask if they want dinner on fill-in-the-blank night and then smile.
Don’t forget that smile…it’s a facial tick of victory.
Girls love the idea of the date: dressing up, eating for free, receiving a showering of attention — this is what they dream about.
The Phillies have a better chance at making the playoffs than you have of enduring rejection.
Girls love the idea of the date, however, all bets are off when it is time for the execution. Women loathe making decisions. Therefore, you are responsible for determining the location of the date. You have to take initiative and pay for everything.
My girlfriend never fails to remind me that I didn’t pay for her on our second date.
In my defense, she demanded that we eat at the artery-clogging grease bucket of cuisine known as Sonic.
How can I, in good conscience, support the decline of American fast food? Plus, I had already reached first base, so the second date was a test to see when she would pick me off.
Take advantage of The Reel, Temple’s cozy movie theater in the basement of the Student Center. Bring your TU ID and pay only $2 for a ticket, $6 at the most with popcorn and your date’s ticket. If you’re feeling adventurous, scurry to Pearl Theatre at Avenue North.
Speaking of the movies, sophomore university studies major Walt Wyatt shares his two cents.
“Never get in a screaming match with the ticket booth lady about a gift certificate you have for one free ticket. You may freak out your date,” Wyatt said.
Although the summer concert season has passed, you can still rock your girl’s world by bringing her to see some local bands.
The Electric Factory, Trocadero and World Café Live provide the perfect atmosphere for a hormone-raging adrenaline rush.
Escape the confines of North Philly and stroll through Center City for an evening under the stars. If your date isn’t from Philadelphia, perhaps you could play tour guide and introduce her to some “brotherly love.”
Of course, pub crawling South Street is always an option.
Once you figure out the details, you must physically prepare for the date. Snap a couple of crunches, hit a few Hindu squats, or run a lap or two around the track. You want those endorphins flowing with “Eye of the Tiger” as your mental soundtrack.
Trim that beard until the breadcrumbs spill off of your chin. Wear a polo shirt, iron those khaki shorts and squirt some cologne around that machine. Don’t drown yourself in Axe, but a good stink can go a long way.
Confidence is the key to success. If you look classy, you’ll feel great.
If you’re feeling extra lucky, bring some protection other than your emergency poncho.
Although your car may not be on campus, do anything and everything in your power to get those keys and chauffeur your date for the evening.
Open the door for her, adjust her seat and pull her chair out at dinner — all that chivalry malarkey. If you can’t drive, entertain her during the subway ride.
Despite the almost-proven scientific fact that women only talk about themselves, your girl will most likely be shy on the first date. So keep the conversation light by asking questions about her major, favorite food, teams and singers. You not only learn her interests but also blossom small talk into riveting dialogue.
When discussing the mundane trials of your daily life, don’t reveal too much. Remember, the goal of the first date is to earn a second one.
Never mention your past relationships or lack thereof. If you reference an old flame, you are giving the impression that the fire is still burning. I realize for most dudes that this is much easier to read than to perform.
In the car ride to my girlfriend’s house before our first date, I was sweating more than an Archdiocesan school president.
So I relied upon the Johnny Bravo-style, age-old maneuver…I tickled her.
Ribs, armpits, you name it. Anything to make her squirm, laugh and smile.
Don’t have high expectations or you will probably be disappointed.
After all of this effort, you should always go for that kiss at the end of the date. Win or lose, you’ll never forgive yourself for not making the move.
John Corrigan can be reached at email@example.com.