Taurus (Apr 20-May 21) – So long sad times hello glad times, happy days are here again! Put on your good pair of tap shoes and do the heel toe. Big mean old Saturn has left, and you can dance all the daylong.
Gemini (May 22-Jun 21) – You’re being teased by the universe. First you get something good and then it’s snatched away. I wouldn’t take that if I were you.
Cancer (Jun 22-July 23) – I’m getting to know one of you guys a little bit better and I have to say, I like Cancers. Emotionally weighty but humorous at the same time. This spring, work on your humorous qualities.
Leo(Jul 23-Aug 20) – Leo’s are known for their fine manes of hair, or maybe in your case, a fine mane of weave. Real or fake, special attention will be paid to your looks this week.
Virgo(Aug 21-Sep 21) – After you’ve added the one, subtracted the square root, and defined the left hypotenuse, you’ll realize that special someone is the one for you. You could have just called them.
Libra(Sep 22 Oct 23) – You’ll want to focus on things only dealing with higher consciousness and metaphysics. The writings of Plato, Kant and Buddha will intrigue you instead of say, Danielle Steele novels. Thank God!
Scorpio(Oct 24-Nov 22) – Money, Money, Money! Money! Yeah, you’re likely to receive cash in unusual ways. Don’t let your ego resist either. You’ll have a chance to return the favor and be a blessing.
Sagittarius(Nov 23-Dec 22) – Every time I see you, you seem to have one more stitch, cast or patch on your body. Pretty soon you won’t be walking at all with the pounding you’re getting from karma and the universe.
Capricorn(Dec 23-Jan 19) – Working with his given birth date, Jesus Christ would have been a Capricorn. However, given his disdain for money, status and selfishness that has to be wrong. For a while you’ll be pleasantly un-Capricornian when it comes to money
Aquarius(Jan 19-Feb 19) – Oprah Winfrey is your typical Aquarian. She has a big crush on humanity and would give a perfect stranger her last dime. Not too big on personal relationships though, people are likely to see you as fake and aloof even within your sincerity. Sorry.
Pisces(Feb 20-Mar 20) – A pesky flaw may show up in your plans that will annoy the hell out of you. It’s not really a flaw though, it’s an element that will help to refine your work and bring clarity.
Aries(Mar 21-Apr 19) – You know, Aries are really cute. Those heavy eyebrows and great jaw lines really do something to me. Too bad for me everybody else will be finding you to be cute too.