No more scrubs

This is going to be about sex.

And no, this isn’t going to be some kinky eroticism. But if it is, I hope to make you feel all warm and fuzzy in your erogenous zones.

I am a black man.

More important, I am an 18-year-old and very horny black man.

Nevertheless, I treat sex just a little differently from the way my peers treat it.

First off, I am not having sex until I fall in love.

Wait. Let me rephrase that.

Sex need not be a prelude to or result of marriage, only an expression of true love.

And I will continue to have sex, but only if the love is felt. I won’t sell young black men short, as there are some who feel the way I do.

But the stereotype of black men being female-hungry animals has me a bit disenchanted, to say the least.

By no means do I expect the media to create an image that fits me, as they would have a hard time trying to do so.

However, prejudgments about black men should not be made.

I love sex just as much as the next erected male, but I have a problem with the sexual image that’s being painted to depict today’s black men.

More specifically, I have a problem with most black men living up to that media-created persona. We’re neither stupid nor ignorant. So, why do we play the fool when it comes to having sex?

You’ve seen the music videos: the ugliest, gold-tooth rocking, iced-down-medallion-wearing individual has the best looking black women surrounding him.

This is self-defeating in case you didn’t know, because while the women are beautiful, they’re running around butt-naked throughout the video.

Why? Do they want to?

They probably weren’t forced to participate in the video.

If men love women so much, why degrade them like that?

Watching Cash Money Millionaire’s videos and hearing lyrics that simply cut up the female black psyche, I begin to understand why we black men are being referred to as “scrubs.” And black women, to be honest, I don’t blame you. Because, like I said, we’re playing the fool.

To switch gears for a sec, let me discuss the actual physical act of sex itself.

From my experiences with women, I understand that they regard sex as the ultimate demonstration of their love.

Think about intercourse. A woman is allowing a man to be inside her body, to explore her in a way rarely experienced in day-to-day life.

Women invite us in, gentlemen. And sometimes, we don’t even wipe our feet when we enter.

Men look at sex a bit differently. Because it is the act of penetrating a woman, we should take more care into how we treat our sexual experience.

If the woman is trusting you enough to put that thing inside her and grind her insides so that you may climax, (since men sometimes forget that women want that climax, too), why look at it as some sort of conquest?

Conquest is the wrong word to be applied here.

To conquer something is to take it without asking.

That’s not sex, nor is it making love. That is rape.

Choose your words – and your partners – wisely.

Women, for the most part, take extra care in whom they select to be with them sexually. So I ask you, men: why can’t we be the same?

If I think a woman is swimming with sexually transmitted diseases, or if I just don’t want a little Thomas running around, I slap a condom on.

Or maybe, just maybe, I might be brave enough to tell the woman that sex is out of the question.

A man turning down sex?

She’d likely drop dead.

Don’t believe what you hear, men.

We don’t need to pursue sex like a bunch of addicts. Then again, if you’re like me you know that sex can be sort of addictive. I love being a college student.