Did you ever wonder who that lady is on the DiamondLine? She is famous around here, almost as famous as Mrs. Buttersworth on the breakfast table. But does she ever get on your nerves?
Sometimes I just want to scream, “CHANGE YOUR TONE OF VOICE OR SPEAK FASTER, my class is going to close before I even get to the menu level!”
And I wonder if she’s the person that checks the ID and pin number, because she is incredibly slow. I’m sure it takes time to look my name up and confirm that I am not checking someone else’s grades, but come on. I mean she even takes the time to tell you to WAIT.
“Please wait while we verify your ID and pin number,” monotonously comes through the line.
Like, what was I going to do in the meantime … hang up the phone? I’ve always wondered what would happen if I called from a rotary phone or if I needed Spanish; it doesn’t even give you those options. It’s this monotone, mysterious DiamondLine lady or bust.
I think in all, automated phone voices are weird. I mean, is there a club somewhere in the U.S. I can join, like The Automated Voices of America, or Phone Voices United? Sign me up! I’ll start practicing speaking my numbers and letters right now! What a job! I wonder if you can go to school for AV (automated voicing)? Temple should have a course for students to learn the techniques, so that when the DiamondLine lady bites the dust or gets laryngitis, there is someone to fill her shoes (if she even wears shoes).
I guess compared with the usual runaround you get on the phone with Temple departments The DiamondLine Lady isn’t all that bad. So you have to wait a few minutes for her to access your records; at least you don’t have to repeat your situation 20 times to seven different people.
“Oh, hold on Ms. Crist, let me transfer you to the admission department … Oh, hold on Ms. Crist, let me transfer you to the biology department,” 40 people say about 40 times, all to find out what time the library computers close. It’s ridiculous. And I love when you go through all the transferring and you either end up back at the department you started with, or you end up with someone’s voicemail … someone who never calls you back.
Temple should just resort back to old times: fires and smoke signals, because that would probably be more efficient. So, I guess we end up here with the tip of the day. First, if you need to register or call the DiamondLine, plan to wait. Second, just be glad that you are talking to someone from Temple that can’t talk back … the one and only DiamondLine Lady.