You don’t need me to tell you spring break lasted about three minutes. Again, you don’t need me to tell you everyone is pissed we are back in class. How could anyone happily sit in a stuffy classroom while the sun is giving us all spring fever? This might be a surprise, as I can usually be found sitting in the dark with the exception of my glowing computer screen, but I actually do like the sun. I like it even better when I can use it as an excuse for my shortcomings. Who would tell me I was wrong to choose fresh air instead of the stinky air in the TECH Center?
Kind of like those glorious snow days, spring break made me forget I am a student. I was as happy as a college drop-out, listening to “Free Bird” in my cut-off shorts sipping on brewskis and tweeting about how awesome I am. But just as snow melts, spring break ends, and we all have to pretend we were actually productive over break.
If you are one of those weird overachievers who obsessively tweeted about how much you got done during break, watch out because I will make fun of you later in the semester when people start tweeting about how high their GPAs are. Tell your mommy. Twitter doesn’t care.
@fcardillo: going to class against my god d— will
I find that it is best not to go against your will. My will usually tells me I am hungry and I should get a snack. What am I supposed to do, starve in class? I won’t be learning much if I’m dead.
@Oo0Lala: Beury Beach and LWalk are doing one thing..Temple is too popping in the spring #icanttakeit
I know, right? Liacouras Walk has been bumping lately, and that crazy spray paint guy isn’t even there yet. What’s the deal? I know it is warm in comparison to this time last month, but ladies, are we really bringing out the freakum dresses already? I can’t take it either, @Oo0Lala. Liacouras Walk isn’t Club Shampoo. I might regret saying this, but I would rather see a booty in just tights than a bare one.
@DaMastablasta: I didn’t do my homework for my once a week class…#thuglife
Me neither. My thug lifestyle also prevents me from doing my homework.
@KiairaB: This dumb *ss..I’m havin class outside n the shade on the side of barton..business writing class smh this techer is so gullible
What’s wrong with you? That is the coolest thing I have ever heard. You’re teacher isn’t gullible. She just doesn’t want to be inside Barton because it smells like old people. If you’re going to be a crybaby, why don’t you just run away? You’re already outside.
To survive the rest of the semester, I am going to channel the best episode of Hey Arnold! You know, the one where they get stuck on the subway, and all the passengers bond with a sing-along. Temple is the subway, and Twitter and I are the passengers. Oy vey.
Samantha Krotzer can be reached at email@example.com.