Tweeters, something serious has happened – I’m not talking about going a week without Internet in my apartment, though that was pretty serious. I, champion and advocate of cigarettes, am now an ex-smoker. Apparently, I am supposed to consider myself a “nonsmoker” instead of an “ex-smoker,” but let’s not push it. If change happened that fast, then VH1’s “Tool Academy” wouldn’t exist, now would it?
I recently had a flashback to when I told someone smoking was a part of who I was. I will forever be embarrassed by that moment. Even a little girl telling me I smelled bad after I had a cigarette wasn’t enough to make me stop. One by one, my friends stopped smoking and left me feeling like I would be the last smoker standing. What was wrong with these kids? Didn’t they know smoking was a key faction in the equation of being awesome?
However, feeling like I was going to have a stroke multiple times a day was a small indication quitting could be a good idea. My days of resorting to tweets about smoking or making a little baby cigarette joke to soothe my writer’s block are over. I may walk down the street awkwardly snapping my fingers and clapping my hands because I don’t know what else to do with them if I’m not smoking, but that’s better than hiding behind garbage cans trying to light up while it’s windy.
@MarcusAlford: #ThingsWeAllHate people who bum cigarettes
That’s a little harsh to say everyone hates cigarette bummers. I’ve bummed a fair number of smokes in my day, and I’ve learned all is well as long as you tell the person they are pretty or something like that.
What I really don’t get is when people said, “No” even when I would offer a dollar. How does that not work in the other person’s favor? Yeah, some smokes cost $10 a pack, but there are 20 in a pack. Not exactly macroeconomics.
@OMG_itsJEWJEW: #icantdateyou if you smoke cigarettes, thats just nasty.#WEED IS OK
I’ll never understand this. How is weed any less nasty? I think what boils my water more is how many people are openly talking about smoking pot on Twitter. Unless you are Bob Marley, which I am assuming you are not, you sound like a trash bag.
@ModeGraphiste: I think they upped the smoking age in Philadelphia. In Rite Aid it said 30…that’s crazy.
Really? I mean, really? That’s the sign that says even if you are 30 they are still going to card you for cigarettes. Really, @ModeGraphiste? SMH and SMF simultaneously.
@TattdOnCloud120: #i cant sex you if you talkin bout smokin a cig afterwards . .
After such as serious public announcement of my nonsmoker-dom, I give everyone full permission to verbally abuse me if you catch me lighting up. But please, if I am obviously trying to hide, don’t make me feel worse than I probably will already feel.
Samantha Krotzer can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.