Lying in bed Sunday morning, I’m awoken by sounds much louder than any alarm clock.
Despite stuffing my face with eggrolls mere hours earlier, I hear growling echoing from under the sheets. Lifting my head from the drool-stained pillow, I stare in the face of a lion’s roar.
The agony, the torture, the fading chances of satisfying my morning wood…no!
It’s back.
Before I can escape the comforter’s clutch, my girlfriend’s hand grabs my shoulder. The calendar failed me once again, refusing to mention it’s that time of the month. No one prepares guys for how to handle their ladies’ menstrual cycle.
If you’re like me, you snoozed during seventh grade biology because periods only mattered in hockey back then — we actually had hockey back then.
The next time a menstrual cycle affected my life was when Seth got blood on his pants from dancing with that chick in “Superbad.”
And now, I pray for jury duty every 28 days hoping that the trial length rivals O.J. Simpson’s.
According to the National Institutes of Health, estrogen levels rise during menstruation, causing the lining of the uterus to grow and get thicker. If the uterus does not need the extra lining, it begins to shed through the vagina.
Although any man can sympathize with the crotch shots suffered on every episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos, imagine Sandshrew digging in your nether regions like the mini game in Pokemon Stadium.
And you can expect it once a month.
Is attending yoga free of judgment really worth all of the pain that comes with being a woman? Maybe Chaz Bono had the right idea.
Since you can’t prevent the pain, you have to remain cautious around your agonizing girlfriend. Accept that you will be automatically loathed simply because you are a man.
You will repeatedly hear that you don’t know how it feels — you don’t have a vagina and she will basically blame you for having a Y chromosome.
Conversing with your girlfriend while Aunt Flo is visiting is like navigating through a minefield — anything can set her off.
“Why aren’t you wearing that sweater I gave you for Christmas?”
“It’s 75 degrees and sunny, dear.”
“You don’t love me anymore!”
You better duck those mood swings or else she’ll knock you out.
When your girlfriend suffers, you sure will, too.
Although it is not scientifically proven, women can maximize their mean streak during the menstrual cycle. If you thought forgetting your anniversary was forgiven after last month’s argument, you’re about to learn what motivated those recent abs.
Your appearance, your performance, your family, your friends — everything is fair game for critique when you’re caught in a woman’s PMSing scorn.
They call it a period, but an exclamation point is more appropriate.
As for advice, I can’t save you. I have yet to conquer the menstrual struggle.
I tried avoiding my girlfriend during her period, thinking that I couldn’t anger her if I wasn’t around. Chalk that one up in the loss column. Distance only makes things worse because she wants you to console her and take her mind off the cramps.
Misery loves company. However, you can lift her spirits by hanging out, watching movies and quenching those obscure food cravings.
She might not be pregnant, but she still demands 7-Eleven jalapeno cream cheese taquitos. Presents, cards and flowers help — anything to make her feel special.
Chocolate is supposed to be the miracle drug, but my girl is immune to the powers of Dr. Hershey.
Plus, she’s “in the mood.” So take advantage of soothing her aches with a couple pelvic shakes.
Don’t expect a quickie, though. Your evening shall be spent nurturing your honey.
I’ll probably have my relationship status revoked after this column is published, but I’ll bite the bullet for you, my loyal readers.
We’re in college.
If we haven’t learned survival strategies by now, we never will.
Don’t expect this topic to be Father Mahoney’s homily Sunday, but please, say a prayer for me.
John Corrigan can be reached at john.corrigan@temple.edu.
This article actually made me cringe, and I’m not even on my period. This is such a hyperbolic illustration of a females time of the month, and the fact that you write about it as a burden to men is disgusting, like oh flipping no you can’t have your morning sex. It’s not your girlfriends duty to pleasure you, it’s a choice she makes and if on some days she doesn’t want , then you have to get over it, whether it’s because of her bodily functions or not. But oh, it’s okay because you go on to tell all boyfriends to comfort their girlfriends in her “time of need”. god we deal with it every month I think we can handle it without the coddling. For the record, I don’t know any girls who actually require such “nurturing” during their time of the month, and I personally would find it insulting. this article is just promoting the over-generalizing and hyperbolic stereotype that females are hormonal btches who can’t handle their emotions. What boyfriends really need to do for their girlfriends during their time of the month is respect what they do and don’t want to do in bed and don’t make a big fcking deal about it.
Anne, you are so spot on with your comment, I’m glad it’s the first one on here.
The article makes some people laugh. The article offends some people.
You read it and probably shared it with your friends on Twitter and/or Facebook.
Mission accomplished.
Thanks, John.
you must be on the rag right now
Well son, that resume you sent? I’m afraid it got lost. Actually, I threw it out. This is the kind of stuff that will haunt you. Journalism is tough enough to get into these days, but with this kind of crap in your clipfile, you’ll be working at Chick-fil-a in no time.
Buy yourself a copy of Best Bewspaper Writing and see if anyone, anywhere writes crap like this.
Thank you Anne! Well said!
Bravo sir, bravo.
I feel terrible for all the trees that had to die just so this awful column could be printed on it. I also feel pretty bad for your parents, family members, et al.
Don’t give any time of your month, day, or hour to this crap. Great insights said no one, ever.
Seriously, if there are any men out there that appreciate it that would be great. Like fathers, I haven’t seen one yet appreciate their ladys’ period. She gave you children dammit! If she didn’t have her period she wouldn’t have had those munchkins of yours. So, excuse me for saying this, but maybe your mother should have been infertile so she wouldn’t have had a terrible disrespectful son like you!
You, sir, obviously do not actually have a girlfriend.
If I had to pull from the same bag of tired cliches you used, I’d say he’s a greasy virgin who spends summer away from college in his parents’ basement watching internet pornography and playing World of Warcraft.
Us WoW players don’t want him either.
Wow, there are a lot of Drews on here.
hahahahaha
Hey! Don’t diss World of Warcraft. He Probably plays Rift.
Haha this is so bad it’s good.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Disgusting, immature, sexist. I am embarrassed to be a temple journalism student. Why does this guy get published?
You’re an idiot. What exactly is the point of this article?
I was thinking that same thing while reading this. With all the students studying journalism here, this is the best they can do? Way to go out in style, sir.
Dude, if the worst of your problems is your ‘girlfriend’ getting her period, I seriously envy you. This was the worst, most pathetic, most heavily-exaggerated piece-of-garbage excuse for an article that even I’m surprised I managed to finish it. You seem to put sex at the top of the list of things most crucial to a relationship, which tells me that every last one of every romantic relationship you’ve ever had/will have in the future will fail because women are not receptacles for your bodily fluids, not objects to stick your Cheeto-dust-covered member into, but human beings who, yeah, have a certain bodily function that can be a little off-putting to those not mature enough to realize that periods are a fact of life. I implore you, stop writing relationship advice columns until you are able to at least make it sound like you’ve actually interacted with a woman before.
Your writing is bad and you should feel bad. http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/31287298.jpg
You people honestly don’t understand humor and need to stop taking things so literally. If you were a normal students with a girlfriend you would understand how hilarious this is because it is so accurate and it sheds some light on how uneducated males are about the female body and that should be changed. He has also had a girlfriend for two years and doing a damn good job if you ask me. This kid is going to really go somewhere.
This was supposed to be humor? Makes me feel even more embarrassed for the guy.
^his Dad
Clearly written by the author’s mom. Or more likely the author, himself. Not even your mom would defend this poorly written, hyberbolic dribble.
this sounds like the author just put a fake name up to try and defend himself. lol
if you were a normal student you would understand subject verb agreement
Wow. What a thinly veiled attempt at a fake account to defend the author.
And if you were a normal woman, you would know that there is nothing remotely funny about how uneducated some men are about the female body.
John, you can’t fool us. We all know you wrote this comment.
“My girlfriend is really mad at me about this PMS article cause it’s that time of the month, ya see? haha yes she’s real well she’s real to me anyway”
lol. i hate MYSELF at that time of the month, i can only imagine how my bf feels!
gender traitor
amen, poopschool. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Calm down. There’s obviously some tongue in cheek involved here. Plus, it’s his opinion. So what? You have to attack the man personally? It’s just like every time someone says something on TV or radio that rubs someone the wrong way, the Left and the hyper-sensitive resort to personal attacks or call for firing. Calm down. If you don’t like it…don’t read it. But attacking the man personally makes you look like you’re on a mega-period!
” mega-period!”
do u even women
the best
Flawless.
congrats “what” you win the internet.
yawn this argument is so old I could reply to it in my sleep. Yes, he has a right to his opinion, freedom of speech, blah blah blah, but so do I. I have the right to state the very objective fact that this individual is an ass-hat. and I shall: what an ass-hat.
John Corrigan, is that you?
Seriously? Mega-period? You basically just unwound everything you just wrote by saying that. The whole point is that periods don’t make us that crazy, this guy is just being an asshole about it, and to be honest I don’t blame his girlfriend if this is what he’s like all the time.
are you joking? This is an opinion piece, so of course they are going to attack his person. On top of that it is about his personal life. Thirdly you showed you have about as much IQ (and sexism–but I’m willing to guess the word sexism doesn’t exist for you) as the author. Go back to watching Fox New.
lol, when on earth did this become “the Left” attacking his argument? I love how any time anyone EVER is critical of anything its THE LEFT! Hmm… should I try and attack this from the right to help balance it out for you?? “It is highly inappropriate to be talking about female bodily functions in an open forum like this. What if children somehow read it? I CANT BELIEVE HE SAID MORNING WOOD! DISGUSTING! Sex before marriage!? Further proof that this country is going to hell and the Apocalypse is imminent! The bible says when a woman has her period, you can’t sleep in the same bed as her, nor can she sit at the same table as others when she eats.” Did this help balance the political spectrum of comments for you? I figured since you put politics on the table in a way that makes no sense and makes a caricature of one side, I would help out, and do the same for the other side for you. Both are, obviously, quite misleading and incomplete.
This is college journalism? Sexist and disgusting.
I have never once, in all the years of my life, felt compelled to actually make a comment on something written on the internet. I find it to be a useless waste of time. However, this piece of writing is perhaps THE worst, most ridiculous, most outrageous piece of writing I have ever read that I just HAD to stay late at work to tell you that. It’s hard to imagine that anyone who read this actually thought, “Yeah, let’s do this. Let’s actually publish this on the internet.”
ps: I just got off the phone with Father Mahoney. You’re safe because he said this was NOT the topic of his homily Sunday. He also wasn’t aware that you name dropped him in this article. You’re welcome!
I’m assuming this is a joke. If not, either get a girlfriend who’s not a total b*tch on her period, or get a girlfriend who doesn’t take advantage of the fact that you assume she needs coddling. But really, I’m going with “this is your last column so you decided to have a laugh.”
It’s definitely meant to be a joke, but it’s still really, really bad.
wow. there is no way you have a girlfriend. and if you did, she’s probably long gone by now. the ignorance, sexism and overall stupidity….just wow.
I couldn’t agree more with Anne. I understand this article relies heavily on humor, but it’s not nearly enjoyable enough for me to forget about all the things you’re saying. There are far too many exaggerations on cliches that makes me wonder why you chose to write about this. It seems like you have no new perspective, or even insight on the subject. I think you’re receiving a lot of negative backlash because it’s offensive and you have no endearing qualities or wit to show for it.
Diane, it’s exactly that – it’s offensive material, but there is no wit to make it actually humorous, so it’s just empty, obnoxious sexism.
Not clever, not funny, it just makes the author seem immature and pathetic.
This is unreal. I can’t believe this was approved to be published – THANK GOD this is your final article. I’m pretty sure we can all agree you have never had (and thanks to this article ever will have) a girlfriend. I am personally on my ‘exclamation point’ and I can assure you I’m not suffering from Sandshrew digging in my nether regions like the mini game in Pokemon Stadium (by the way that’s clue #2 that you’ve never had a female significant other). Your sexism and false facts (and terrible cliches) are a bloody disaster.
You should also know that paragraphs can be longer than one sentence.
Skimming through your previous columns where you point to “the almost-proven scientific fact that women only talk about themselves” and state that “Women trap you with trick questions in which the answer is simply lighting the match for a predetermined explosion.” Here’s a bit of unsolicited advice – given your clear contempt for women, maybe you should stop dating them? The world would probably be a happier place if you recused yourself from the dating pool.
If you did actually intend this as satire, you’d be wise to read up on Poe’s Law. I’m guessing you didn’t, though.
This article can only be one of two things:
1. A purposeful comedic farce.
2. The naive ramblings of a college student who recently lost his virginity.
methinks the latter
I was going to write a long-winded, preachy response to this, but I won’t. What I will say is I don’t think you have had a girlfriend ever, and this article was probably about as painful to read as it is painful to pass a kidney stone.
I have been unfortunate enough to have to pass kidney stones, but this was far worse than rampaging calcium deposits being ejected out of my nether region.
Last time I checked we still have the first amendment. If you don’t like the articles don’t read them. It was silly and funny…and for some women it was true! Again though it’s freedom of speech. To attack the writer is very low.
We do have the First Amendment! Unfortunately, the First Amendment doesn’t require people like you to know what it does. Pretty sure no one here is trying to ‘restrict’ Mr. Corrigan’s speech, let alone through legal means. Actually, people are practicing their own First Amendment right to call him out on his ignorance. First Amendment guarantees that the government will not keep you from saying what you want within reason. Corrigan can write this, and an audience can call him ignorant and you chronically misinformed. Sorry!
Joe, it’s funny how ignorant people try to defend each other with more ignorance, isn’t it?
Here’s some unsolicited advice, Corrigan, never leave a paper trail of your own idiocy. I think it’s fair to say that even your imaginary girlfriend is unlikely to stand by you after this publication.
This sounds like a guy imagining what a girl on her period is like. Oh wait, that’s because it is.
It starts off about how his morning wood won’t get satisfied, but later on says “She’s in the mood so take advantage”? The rest of the “article” makes about as much sense. I don’t think the author here has a sister, let alone a girlfriend. His cluelessness is almost as embarrassing as the piss-poor, one-sentence paragraph structure of his writing.
As said in previous comments, the writing style lacked the “clever wit” it needed to be seen as a satire. It was riddled with cliches and stereotypes that not even some of the worst comedians would touch with a ten foot pole. But… plus side. You’re getting some attention, and giving traffic to a predominately neutral student website.
this article has many in the comments seeing red for sure..
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/000/681/what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg
I hope you realize that sometimes women take care of their men’s libido even when they’re having their period, all you have to do is not be such a selfish brat and avoid writing asinine articles about things you don’t understand or care to.
No. Just no.
Good thing this is your final column.
I’d love to write to the editor-in-chief about this fella. Clearly. CLEARLY he does not seem to have any journalistic integrity, nor factual evidence to support his claims that women are nutso during their period. Sad that this Mitch Albom style of mail-in journalism has become accepted lately.
Also, I remember my most recent girlfriend being fairly rational during that time of the month. It was when she had too much to drink that she got the crazies.
Please don’t let this hack graduate.
It’s a column.
there’s no way this guy actually has a girlfriend.
FYI- Not all women have menstrual cycles. Not all people with menstrual cycles are women.
There’s tons more that needs to be addressed here, but I think I would be doing a disservice to everybody reading this article if I didn’t point out that it REEKS of cissexism and trivializes the decisions of transgender people.
Also, the whole “It’s just a joke” argument is absurd and total BS. Let’s be real for a second–humor fails when what is written contributes to sexism, cissexism, and transphobia. And honestly, if you have to use stupid and unsubstantiated stereotypes to try to get a laugh, you probably aren’t funny and shouldn’t be writing a “humorous” piece in the first place.
Shame on The Temple News for publishing this.
Oh thank God, just in time, Tumblr arrives!
With Reddit close behind.
I’ll be hopeful and assume this is satire.
“Accept that you will be automatically loathed simply because you are a man.”
After getting this far in the article I can completely understand where your “girlfriend” would be coming from.
I feel compelled to console you and say that we all strike out from time to time. I think you could benefit by trying to be a man about it, though, by accepting that the loathing has nothing to do with the fact you’re a man and everything to do with the fact that you’re an extreme douche who needs more “girlfriend” practice.
I hope your future possible employers find this article….and hopefully the hiring manager is a female.
If your “girlfriend” is treating you so horrifically, you’re in an abusive relationship and need to get out. Seeing as you attend Temple, here’s a link to a website that can give you some resources in the Philadelphia area :
http://philadelphia.pa.networkofcare.org/mh/services/subcategory.aspx?tax=RP-1400.8000-020.80
If you don’t think you’re being abused and are happy to stay with someone who has Pokeman characters digging at their “neither regions,” you could look into getting your “girlfriend” help. Due to all your comments, it sounds like she’s may be suffering PMDD. Google it because seeing as you struggled to define a period (not an “exclamation point”) I won’t be so silly as to assume you know what that diagnosis is.
All in all, you should stop lying to yourself; either that you’re NOT being abused, or that you actually have a girlfriend.
Also, if this was an attempt at trying to be witty, clever, funny or any combination of those things, you’ve failed miserably. You’ve only come off as a pathetic chauvinist ass. If that was the angle you were going for, congratulations fella. You’ve succeeded.
I’m with Beth on this one; how does this guy get published?
congratulations on getting featured on Gawker. too bad you’re now e-famous for being a total misogynist and a terrible writer. #templemade
And The Huffington Post, too. This guy’s going places!
I’m not one to pray but I just might say one for you. so that if you ever do get a girlfriend you have the respect and decency to throw every bit of sexist, stereotyped bullshit you have included in this article out the window. however, seeing that you are portraying a very natural and manageable aspect of a woman’s life in such a stereotyped, uninformed middle schooler way, I am also assuming that you believe yourself to be a stereotypical strong man’s man, and therefore, should shut up and don’t ask for prayers. nothing about this article is worthy of publishing. I truly hope this article gets taken down.
Daniel Tosh called, he wants his jokes back.
the 80’s called they want that shitty joke back
I think my favorite part about this article is the male comments.
This reminds me of the flaming article Richard Gere’s character writes about Maggie Carpenter in Runaway Bride. This article is immature, uninformed, sexist blather. If this was anything like the aforementioned romantic comedy, this kid should have to fight to get his job back. It makes Temple look bad to publish such mediocre writing.
Ha! I love how all the hate is coming from women.
I actually found this article to be quite funny. This was not meant to be serious and that is quite obvious from the tone that can be found throughout this article. And i am PMSing.
When do we as humans and as women, stop taking everything so literally and as an attack on our gender. Yes there are ignorant people out there that may actually think and subscribe to the same ideas that are written throughout this article, but all in all i think people are actually decent. I also know that when im bleeding my b/fs first thought it is “Crap, im not getting any”, and hell, thats fine by me. He can think that all he wants and be upset by it all he wants, because its the truth.
Maybe it’s because im 27, or that i’ve been going through this every month for 17 years (yeah i got my period young) but i am perfectly ok with a dude joking about what to expect when im spewing stinky, metallic smelling blood from my neither regions. I am a jerk, i am whiny and all i want to do is sit on my couch and watch TV/Movies and eat the worst combinations of food possible, and complain about how terrible i feel to my love.
To those that took offense to this article i think you need to just chill out. Or perhaps pop a Midol or two, maybe then the hormones that are coursing through your body will allow you to mellow out for a minute and see what this article really is, just another dudes attempt at being funny about something that he and the majority of the male sex does not understand.
Aww, that’s sweet.
The good news is Corrigan’s email address can be found above if you’d like to discuss your “spewing stinky” further with him. Remember, there’s nothing shameful about finding love online.
I already have a very loving and caring man in my life. Thanks for the suggestion though! 😉
Well aren’t you a special little snowflake?
Sure am, aren’t we all?
I don’t know about you by my girlfriend manages to smell just fine when she has her period. Perhaps you should pop your ass in the shower or see a specialist.
I didnt say that i smell. Period blood is stinky. It smells heavily of iron. Which makes sense, you know , cause it has iron in it. Maybe your sense of smell is skewed, but the next time you lady is bleeding take a whiff. Or maybe on second thought, dont, cause it can be quite a shock to the system.
Thank you so much! This is so true, I was actually going to write all of this. I am so glad someone other than his actual girlfriend (which is me people, yes I do exist. shocker there right? two years together today, so maybe you should stop assuming things about people) and her friends think this article relates to how they act. You are the best.
Glad that Mr. Corrigan has a real live girlfriend (everyone deserves love!), and I think all the misogyny rage is a little over the top, but honestly I think the biggest problem with your boyfriend’s articles are that they are not that funny and kind of cliched. I hope he develops as a writer and doesn’t take this internet reaming too hard though! (Maybe he should stay away from the women be shoppin’; women be crazy on their periods jokes. They’ve been mined pretty heavily.)
I have to agree with Nikki on this — I feel like your boyfriend would be getting a better response from others if his articles were actually humorous. As they stand currently, they depend upon cliche, hyperbole, and really tired jokes: “Better not go shopping with the womenz” or “periods make women crazy, amirite?” Those are the sorts of jokes that people tend to expect from teenage boys or tired comedians, not from a university student who should (hopefully) have more varied experiences to offer insight on by now. Further, by choosing to focus often on women, it makes it seem less like a topic he thinks he has a lot of of experience with and more like he has it out for them. Comedians and writers can and should vary their jokes; no one likes a one-trick pony.
Everyone within the writing community gets bad reviews, it happens and sometimes the backlash ends up being much greater than could initially be expected. I only hope that Mr. Corrigan learns from this experience and allows it to help him become a better writer.
Thanks. To me, all the negative comments make me laugh, especially the one directed at me. I know how i can act when im bleeding. Some months you would never know something is happening to my body, and some months im like a T-Rex out on the hunt for my next meal. I can be vicious, i can be terrorizing. And it’s ok , i know that, i accept that and i try to explain whats going on with me to the one i love. More often then not men dont really understand this period of time that a woman goes through because they DONT experience the flux in hormones and the gyser that is called a vagina and uterus (i use gyser loosely cause, well , your uterus and vagina dont actually SPEW out blood). I loved this article. I shared it with the men i work with, because i work in an office of about 150-200 and there is about 20 women here. We discussed it, and laughed about and took it at its face value.
Haters are going to hate. I understand feminism did wonderful things for our sex, but sometimes, just sometimes, it’s ok to laugh about being a woman and the wonder and curiosity that is our sex!
😀
Finally, someone who isn’t attacking the author. I find all these comments attacking the author more ridiculous than the article itself. I don’t find it necessary to insult other people, especially on the internet because it just makes you look like a total clown. Its one thing to disagree, but to actually verbally attack someone is just bullying. So congratulations to all you internet trolls out there.
As for you, Steph, thanks for having a level head. It’s nice seeing your unabashed comments about yourself, and apparently some people aren’t comfortable with their own bodies yet..maybe they should try attending a Vagina Monologue.
Yeah i tend to think the same thing too, that others have not come to terms or are not comfortable enough with their own body, hormones and bodily processes. The Vagina Monolgues are great. I took a women’s lit course in college and my professor showed it to us in it’s entirety. I definitely recommend women and men who havent seen it to rent it and watch it, or if there is a stage production in your area go see it. Learn to love you bodies and learn to laugh at it. If we are all so strict and uptight about what is going on with our bodies and how others view and perceive it, what are we teaching to younger generations. Yeah sure maybe if this article was written by a single man or in a different tone that was actually condescending i would have an issue with it, but the fact of the matter is that it’s not written in that way at all.
I have nothing to hide about myself, so thanks for the thanks !Haha
I love the smell of internalized misogyny in the morning.
I think it almost smells worse than this girl claims she does on her period. Almost.
Didnt say that i smell silly, its the iron infested blood.
Unfortunately, he’s not funny. Tina Fey’s Colonel Angus is funny.
Yeah i never said he was any SNL writer. It’s very tongue in cheek, but not serious none the less.
Wow, have you been gaslit by your other half or something? Do you hear the words “stop acting crazy” “You’re just being hormonal” a lot as a dismissal of any concerns you had that you thought were legitimate at the time? Your bf’s first thought on period time is “crap no sex”? (have you tried menstrual sex? a blowjob?)
If you answered yes you are in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship with the men in your life and you need to get out. I find it chilling you’re perpetuating the cycle to other women.
Or perhaps you are the author under the cover of a female name telling us women to “chill out and stop being hormonal lols”
Nope, i have heard none of these things. I have a very loving and respectful lover and best friend. And yes i have had sex on my period with other significant others. It not my favorite, i dont care to clean up afterwards, the whole blood thing , etc. Have no fear though, we still maintain a healthy sex life while im on my period. What is wrong with my bf thinking crap no sex if he doesnt enjoy getting bloodied up himself? So, whats wrong exactly with him being upset that for 5-7 days that he isnt going to get any? Hes still going to love me, kiss me, touch me, cuddle with me and be the best damn boyfriend in the world. He doesnt treat me like some bio-hazard and stay away from me for the 5-7 days that i am on the rag. He also prefers our sexual relationship to be one of mutual giving and receiving so while i will pleasure him orally, he’d much rather be able to do so when he can return the favor, ya know?
I am not the author, i am a 27 female from upstate NY that saw this article on another blog, and took it for it’s face value. It’s humor, not great humor, more tongue in check, but the tone throughout this article is not serious at all. I’m not perpetuating any cycle to anyone. Im comfortable in my body and i think its ok to laugh at our monthly cycles. i think that it’s actually a quite beautiful thing, but i also think its ok that men can be upset by the fact we are bleeding
I don’t think this is a shitty article because I don’t want to face the facts. I think it’s shitty because it is completely void of them. I am a calm, level headed person when I’m on my period and would rather not be generalized and marginalized this way. My husband also doesn’t follow the stereotypical idea of a man jumping out of the way of his woman’s path like she’s a grenade waiting to explode into tears. This article is also a tired attempt at taking awful, worn out cliches and synthesizing them into a compact piece of shit.
I mean LOLZ wemin and there periodzzzz amirite?!
nice fake comment, any real woman would know that 17 is not young to get your period.
Uhm… i was 10. I said 17 years ago. Not fake. I got my first period the summer between 5th and 6th grade. It sucked and was confusing, but it really happened.
nah, she said that she had experienced it for 17 years, meaning she first got it when she was 10 years old–which is pretty dang young.
But ugh, I seriously don’t understand this article and the women who agree. Women do not turn into rage-spewing monsters on their period that need to be appeased with flowers and chocolate like some ancient god. If things are really that bad for you, you have either physical or psychiatric issues that you should take care of because that is NOT normal.
Periods differ from woman to woman. Some women have periods that are light, “pleasant” experiences, and some women have heavy, emotional or just awful periods with no hormonal issues, its just genetically how they are built. And some of us are great one month, and not so great the next. I really believe there is no such thing as a “normal” period. Some of us have PCOS, or mild forms of it and it screws with our period on a month to month basis.
Also, just because a lady might have a period that throws her hormones off balance and makes her a bit bitchier, sadder or whatever does not mean that they have psychiatric issues. Hormones do crazy things to the body and mind. Sometimes i want to be lavished with Chocolates and Flowers because to me its my lovers way of saying honey i love you and im here for you if you need me , and here’s some wonderful chocolate that i know you crave oh so much, and some flowers to let you know that you’re on my mind and i love you . What is wrong with showing your love that you want them to feel better?! Its like when women get mad at a man opening a door for them , or walking on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if something was to happen they would be the first to get hurt. It’s chivarly. It’s the act of being a gentleman and frankly i dont think enough men act in such a manner anymore. There is NOTHING wrong with letting a person love you and take care of you, and show you this by doing little acts of kindness,love and caring . You can still maintain your independence, your strong will or whatever you’d like to call it.
Whats saddest to me is that so many women have turned their back on these beautiful acts and turned them into some ill-meaning act that means thats their man or lover wants to control them. This is usually not the case. I like a nice blend of old fashioned love and caring mixed in with my strong independent views. And, i embrace that.
27-17= 10 years old, lizzy
I have been getting my period for a while now and I don’t ever remember my vagina growling louder than an alarm clock. Nor do I remember my nether regions ever making any noise. Nor do I remember my vagina being in so much pain that it felt like Japanese characters battling each other. Vaginas don’t hurt during periods, your stomach/ uterus does. It would’ve helped maybe to have actually interviewed your girlfriend (or literally any woman) about what happens during your period, because none of this is even remotely accurate.
This is a disgusting, almost misogynist, transphobic article. And it’s terribly written! I’m ashamed to be associated with the school that would be willing to publish this article. T for Temple U. :’))))
Uhhhhhhhhmmm…Pretty awful, man. I don’t even go to this school. A friend who does posted this…Who is your editor?
First: Temple, why did you let this get published? This article, even if comedic, is sexist. It is also poorly written and has received a lot of negative attention on social media and news websites. Temple has proven itself, yet again, to possess poor judgement skills.
Second: John: I agree that you do not have a girlfriend, but that’s not the point. You are calling women out for something that they cannot prevent. If a woman were to call you out for your voice cracking at puberty, your ridiculous growth spurt and the awkward random erections, you would be upset. You might laugh, but it hurts somewhere within you.
If this article was serious in any manner, I need you to understand that it’s not funny at all. You are stereotyping over half of the population and that is very unintelligent and you are bringing a bad name to Temple. I don’t know what would possess you to write this article, but I cannot help but feel your efforts, despite being poor, would have been better served elsewhere.
I wish that you, just once, would experience the discrimination that I do as a female. Enjoy your privilege as a white male and enjoy your ignorance while you still have it. When the bubble bursts, you’ll be alone since you clearly lack the ability to empathize with others.
Again, Temple, I partially hold you responsible for this garbage article. I am ashamed to say I attend a university that makes poor judgement calls such as this.
only a reddit browsing basement virgin could come up with this sort of misogynistic crap. this kid probably wears meme t-shirts and raises his hand every 5 seconds in his liberal arts classes
*business classes.
Only an idiot could call an article “misogynistic crap” and then proceed to insult an entirely different group of people
Even if this is a joke, its rude and offensive and I just hope any male who read this doesn’t actually believe this, I mean you seriously just objectified the shit out of women and I am no object. This is such an embarrassment to Temple University and if you think you had trouble getting laid before, good luck buddy.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. And I’m a woman. This is outrageous? Really? Calm the fuck down. Clearly, none of you have a sense of humor. His articles have been satirical all semester so please, angry commenters, don’t waste your breath.
Finally a voice of reason
Huge fan of satire, too bad this just isn’t it.
Besides, any perceived “comedic” value doesn’t erase the sexism and cissexism underlying this entire piece.
It’s not that I don’t have a good sense of humor it’s that something actually has to be comical for me to laugh. Also, the last time I checked, humor isn’t writing down whatever stereotypes come to mind when thinking of women and their periods. Plus, the article was poorly written-if what you are saying is true (that they have been like that all semester) than I feel really bad that paper has been used printing his articles out.
Ouch. So bad it got burned by Gawker.
Hope you enjoy this disastrous and misguided piece of writing coming up every time someone Googles you, friend.
The only way I can even consider this being successful is if you were a comedian who was experimenting w/ a new character. I’m picturing this new character as a creepy old uncle who shows up on holidays and “accidentally” boob grazes every woman over the age of 12, and hits on his own sister when he is so drunk that he is barely standing at the end of the night. As a woman I am disgusted that you chauvinistically see this as an appropriate was to address a woman. I would like to remind you that at one point you, like everybody else, came out of that bloody hole. Appreciate the natural process of life. Women have been forced through history to experience 1/4 of their time with an unpleasant menstrual cycle. This with child birth has debilitated them to the rank of second class citizens for centuries. The three waves of feminism have brought us to where we are today I don’t wish to be dwindled down to simply the organs that differentiate me from a man for the rest of my life. Learn to appreciate women as human beings because we are.
If this is supposed to be satire, then you’re just a shit satire writer. Have fun when a future potential employer searches for you, sees this mindless piece of drivel, and decides not to hire you.
you beat me to it. god help his poor future employer who googles him.
Given the choice between becoming a mind-reader or a palmist, well…
We’re sure you have a palm.
This is garbage. Kiss your journalism career goodbye.
You’re tacky, and I hate you.
Wow, this really reminds me of why I didn’t bother reading The Temple News when I was a student.
I think the crowning glory of this is that this dude actually has to go around with people recognizing him for having written this, since his photo is attached.
Maybe I’m just another feminazi with no sense of humor (not sorry, and not maybe), but this is the most insulting thing I’ve read lately. I think, sir, and I mean that in the most demeaning way possible, that you should take a look at your own capacity for reasoning before labeling all women hormonal crazies. The one sentence in which you cite the NIH is, I’m sure, the extent of any real knowledge you have about women’s bodies. Seriously, did you have to google that shit? You clearly lack the emotional capacity to think beyond your own infantile views and wants. Maybe your imaginary girlfriend is fighting with you, not because she is on her period, but because you are a sexist idiot with no capacity to have a real relationship. You know, one that involves seeing your partner as a person, not as a one dimensional stereotype. (And that, SIR, is how you write a paragraph).
You’re really impressed with yourself, aren’t ya Sarah.
In your mind..you “REALLY” just told him. huh?
smdh. I see the women of this university need to grow up & gain a sense of humor – your raging at everything isn’t going to change anything. There’s serious sexism out there that can and will be changed through organization and persistance. This. This though. Your roaring at this only shows you fulfill a stereotype of the humorless, socially unadjusted ‘feminist.’
um im sorry but Sarah is completely right. there is plenty of good comedy out there that pokes fun at women. this isn’t it. this is an attempt to use comedy to express true feelings. if you can make this long and negative a joke about women and their menstrual cycles you have some unresolved resentment against them and shouldn’t be working in this form of comedy. either way something tells me his left hand is about to get a little stronger.
Just so you know, writing off legitimate feelings of disgust towards the content of this article as “raging” and “roaring” is also an expression of sexism. Too bad men can’t just call women crazy for having opinions and lock ’em up, am I right guys???
Grow up.
This article was a…(69 Responses & 6,900 visits)
…sweet success.
Look how fast he got this comment section stirred up.
Exactly. Brilliant! I dont understand what all the fuss is about. You have published children’s books with curse words in them, but no one is roaring about that! This is just sensationalism at its best. I thought it was rather funny for those with dry humors (me), so for me, it didnt bother me. Yes, we are annoyed men dont grow up about this issue, but no one is leaving their love over it. Plus, it’s true for me, except the food thing. But its funny, its a generalization and we all just need to laugh..
Maybe if it was well written, although the idea is just awful- he seems to complain more than the one girlfriend he observed.
Great that you think you are automatically loathed because you’re a “man”, while automatically loathing women as a bleeding bitchy stereotype. You need brains to pull of well written satire. You might want to consider a career change.
Bless that first sentence.
Regardless of what anyone here says, publishing this article is genius. Not only did The Temple News just make a name for themselves among amounts of people far greater than in previous times, but John, himself, is doing what every journalist aspires to: have their articles read. This is clearly just another example of the society we live in being over sensitive to everything anyone says. To everyone on here complaining: I’m sure you’re the same people that love to argue on the basis of your First Amendment rights. He was just practicing his. Settle down people. Props to you, John.
You know something interesting about the First Amendment? It means that I have the right to say that you’re an idiot. It also means I have the right to say the KKK is racist, or that I don’t like [insert elected official of choice or political party].
Just because people are saying that the author of this article is an asshat doesn’t mean that they’re against First Amendment rights, just that they’re exercising them the same as he did.
This writing was terrible. Even if he is a misogynist or a geek pretending to have a girlfriend this writing is still the worst. I find it hard to believe he has his own column. Whose letting this guy graduate?
Hahahahahaha. This column is the worst.
Regardless of whether or not this was written tongue-in-cheek, a disturbing number of men think like this. Just look at the comments section, there are “men” (I hesitate to call them that…”boys” would be more appropriate) who are saying that women who find this article offensive must be on their period. Males of the world: do you understand just how demeaning and insulting it is to have your feelings and opinions written off simply because you are a woman? I think not. Mr. Corrigan, for the sake of the women and girls around you, I truly hope that you do not subscribe to what you are writing. If you do, then you have my utmost pity.
Bottom line: sexism is disgusting no matter what form it is in.
And in the words of Willy Wonka: “You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir! ”
This is bad, John Corrigan. This is really, really bad. I’m not a Temple student; I found this article on another site, where it was linked due to its sheer awfulness. I’ve been in the journalism field for a few years now, and I’ve even hired freelancers, and this, I promise you, is NOT the kind of writing you want popping up when a potential employer googles your name. It’s clichéd, offensive and unoriginal, not to mention cringe-inducing. There’s enough competition in the field right now to challenge you in your budding career without you shooting yourself in the foot with an embarrassingly bad piece like this right out of the gate. Do yourself a favor and beg the editor at the student paper to take this article down.
as a woman, i can assure you that periods feel much different than sandshrew digging at my nether regions like the minigame from pokemon stadium. Mostly because i enjoyed that game a lot, and I don’t enjoy periods.
P.S.- i don’t want to know about your morning wood.
Whether or not anyone likes the article the guy does hit some points. I’ve listened for years to other women use the excuse they are “PMSing” and everyone better get out of their way.They use it as an excuse to put down co-workers, their spouse and anyone else unlucky enough to step in the room. So…! If a person doesn’t want to be put on the same level of an ogre with a stick up their butt don’t act like one.You’ve come a long way baby, if you want to play with the big dogs you can’t piss like a puppy. Grow some ladies!
I have never ever in my life used PMS or my period as an excuse for bad behaviour on my part. I have never, in my life, witnessed another women do that. The only times women I know even talk about their period (as in having them right now) is when they need a tampon or when they explain why they may be looking more tired than usual. The only times I hear “on her period” or “PMS” in relation with behaviour is when it is used by men, usually as a put-down at other men. The whole marketing of tampons etc. is based on shame and disquise, so I find this concept of millions of women shouting from the rooftops that they are having PMS or their period and should therefore not be treated as adults highly doubtful.
Most ladies I assure you do not use “PMSing” as an excuse to treat other people poorly, especially at work. It’s almost laughable to believe that something like menstruation(which has been shamed in our culture as a disgusting phenomenon and a problematic side effect to being with a woman ) could be used by any professional female looking to be taken seriously. Like most people, you’re just generalizing based on a few stark and negative experiences you’ve had with women claiming the PMS card.
This is embarrassing. I hope you’re not going into a career of journalism.
youre an asshole lmfao. you definitely dont have a girlfriend
I don’t know if you’re still reading comments given what all this has digressed into, but I’ve decided to drop off my two cents.
I’ll start by saying that I’m not outraged by this article. It bothers me, but I’m not seething. I’m not going to insult you or pick at your writing and metaphors (though I’d liken period-related pain more to someone standing on my uterus in stilettos).
My problem is that this article is highly stereotypical and sexist. This is the kind of material I might have found funny in middle school or early high school, when I hadn’t had many periods yet and didn’t know how to keep my shit together. However, your period pretty quickly stops being a huge event and becomes just a biological process that requires some attention every month. Moreover, the stereotypes presented in the article are so demeaning to women. I will readily admit that we can get moody or emotional, or feel more stressed than usual. We get crampy and feel tired or uncomfortable. In the case of PMDD (which your article, had it not been rooted in hyperbole and attempted humor, could be describing), the bad that comes with menstruation is greatly magnified. But it’s not as though once a month we all turn into unreasonable creatures who find great enjoyment in tearing down our significant others. I have yet to meet a woman who is significantly more hateful of men during any specific time of month.
Besides that, we aren’t the only gender to sometimes let hormones drive our actions. I’m no more supportive of the cliche of “horndog male”, but the grain of truth is that things like libido and aggression in men are rooted very much in hormones.
I admire that you are at least pushing men to be supportive during our least comfortable time of month, but please keep in mind that every woman is different. Most of us can function quite well throughout our cycle, and we don’t need to be coddled more than we expressly say we do.
I’m ashamed to call you a fellow Temple University journalist.
middle school was a long time ago you fucking dork.
I get the whole ‘buy her flowers’ thing and all, but it’s only treating the symptoms. I need to know how to SOLVE the problem and cure my girlfriend. I need to know how to stop this from happening altogether. I would have saved a lot of money on flowers if you would have told me how to cure periods. So thanks for making me a little bit more poor.
Well you could become a breeder and have her stop for 9 months at a time, longer if breast feeding. Or you could get a woman who has already hit menopause.. but that comes with other issues such as vaginal dryness, hot and cold flushes and some far worse things.
Or you could save money on flowers by treating her like a human being who has had enough periods to know how to deal with it already.
Being a very good friend of John’s, everyone seriously needs to cool it. If you don’t like it, then agree to disagree and hop off! Don’t read it if you’re so obnoxious about your opinion! AND GET A SENSE OF HUMOR!!! I’m a girl and I see humor in this….so relax. Comedy, people…..comedy.
the thing about comedy tough, is that it’s funny. and this article isn’t very funny.
So this dude gets to say whatever the hell he wants, but I gotta pipe down? He’s allowed to say as many dumb things as he wants, and we all have the right (no, the responsibility) to make sure he knows just how dumb he is.
wait the comments are annoying and “obnoxious about [their] opinion[s]” but the guy seeking attention by blasting his super negative opinions and sub-stern “comedy” all up on the campus paper is totally in the cool, yo, and we should just like totally embrace him for sure and never criticize anything? well okay then. hopefully john never gets any more comments on any other piece he ever writes again.
If he can’t handle the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. Oh wait, maybe that’s where he thinks his girlfriend should be? Making him a sandwich like a good little subjugated woman?
Please. It’s not funny and it’s promoting sexism. So he deserves everything he gets.
The only way I can imagine something this horrible and overtly oblivious exists (outside of the half-functioning mind of a would-be sitcom writer) is as an avant garde piece of performance art. In that case, good work!
Temple News needs to set a higher standard for their publication. It’s unreal that this was approved. I’m offended and disgusted by just about everything contained in this text. This is embarrassing and it makes the Temple community look bad. This article needs to be immediately retracted in all forms.
actually i disagree with you. the temple news is good with not censoring their columnists, and i think that’s kind of important.
maybe an editor’s note re-affirming that this is the opinion/”advice” of the columnist and not the paper would be nice, but policing columnists who’ve been hired to do something specific doesn’t really have a place. don’t criticize the paper beyond maybe selecting this kid a while back as a columnist, or the school. criticize the writer. i’m pretty certain none of the editors who this had to go through believe this piece.
this piece is vile, but censorship isn’t the answer. and lets be real, on any given day you can find equally offensive opinion pieces on fox news’s site.
Let me guess, you’re a straight white man? Pretty easy for you to defend censorship when there’s no stereotypes about you that make it harder for you to get a job, etc. Free political speech is an essential right but publications that produce sexist material are endorsing those views and a student publication should know better than to alienate women and non-asshole students like this.
But without freedom of speech to write articles like this, what would we have to make fun of? Even if it it mysogynistic, theoretically people could read it and learn from it and know not to do it.
Let me just be frank in that every newspaper or body of media censors themselves. It’s a mechanism to defining perspective and QUALITY in their overall work. Just like a newspaper wouldn’t include an article written by a drunk high schooler taking a remedial English class, the Temple News shouldn’t publish an article that seeks to overtly offend using the lowest level of humor possible.
On behalf of all women, I would encourage you to not ever write about relationships or women’s issues unless you would like to tackle both of the perspectives involved in these topics. Your writing is one-sided and highly offensive to not just women, but men as well. You as a man should find it angering that you are depicted as these brute beings who could not possibly understand their counterparts. You say you have not yet “conquered the menstrual cycle,” so my question is why are you writing about it? I’m not going to slam you as a Dungeons and Dragons player or a porn-addict, but I would hope that someone who has been in contact with women, in any way would aspire to be open and caring of their bodies. As a journalism student and a column writer, you should present facts with an opinion, not the other way around in your writing. The only thing you evoke in these pieces is a strong pathos from your readers in the worst way possible. You establish and show no credibility, and your logic is flawed and disconnected. I would encourage you to read the Journalism Code of Ethics and a few style guides while furiously writing notes. Your work in these columns, hopefully do not reflect your style as a journalist. This type of unsupported opinion is a trend in the field; I hope you will abandon it and join the ranks of researched and validated ones.
P.S As someone from Hershey, it is Mr. Hershey. Try a tour at Chocolate World or a quick Google search before you pick up a pen or open Microsoft Word.
Can’t agree with the sentiment, but this took some stones to publish. Bravo.
PMS: The one week a year that women get to act like men do EVERY. DAY.
100th response!…i think.
i may be in the minority because i read this paper every week, but he’s been writing stuff like this all semester and y’allz are just noticing now?
My favorite one of his articles is the one that’s basically: “Hey, gay dudes aren’t that bad because they don’t want to have sex with your girlfriend.”
This dude’s an idiot.
Exactly. The article doesn’t smack as sexism to me but rather the blatherings of an ignorant dweeb, eager to prove his entire “two years” of relationship experience with excited references to uterine lining, vaginas, and medical conditions such as Pokemon. I only wish the tired “women on their periods hate all men–AMIRITE?” was satire, because it should have died with Seinfeld in the 90s. Or else his girlfriend is another personality-less journalism major who says things like “you don’t understand because you don’t have a vagina”?
Can’t tell if the myriad terrible cliches, underlying misogyny, or cissexism bugs me more. Glad to know your girlfriend totally approves of this. It’s almost like she has a choice about the whole thing…too bad you apparently don’t think she gets a choice about when to decide to take care of your morning wood, “time of care” or not.
If you’d like to take this opportunity to expand your opinions to some that, well, aren’t glaringly wrong and terrible, I’d be happy to send you some helpful articles.
Hahaha, this is so funny. I’m sure these people are bitter because they don’t know your sense of humor. And the girls just don’t want to admit that it is all true. You rock.
“Hahaha they all don’t know you’re joking even though I think this is totally true!”
…………………………………………………………………………………………………..
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…………….
……………………….
oh.
If you are honestly going batshit crazy once a month you need to go see your doctor. it’s not normal and it’s becoming an easily manageable disorder.
Hahaha well this wasn’t the best article, but I feel bad for the guy. I can almost guarantee he is not this evil woman hater, and was just trying to make some jokes that fell kind of flat.
Everyone keeps saying that it’s the end of his journalism career, but I kind of wonder if some satire website or something will pick him up.
Doesn’t matter if he’s not some evil woman hater. The guy clearly has issues with women and hearing the same old shit about how women are emotional and irrational actually does damage. I wonder how seriously the men in the Board room will take you when you disagree with them, Danielle? As seriously as they would take you if you were a man? Or will they snicker about how you’re a moody bitch and probably on your period?
Yeah, but there’s a pretty big difference between sexism at work and some kid attempting to analyze a period and failing. It’s an immaturity thing, not sexism. To him a period is still some mythical creature that he has obviously yet to understand. Plenty of high school boys would write this article.
The header nailed it, “In his final column”. At least we can take solace in that.
Your editors must be imbeciles to permit such a disgusting and sexist “article” to be posted.
Your “facts” are so off-point, it’s sickening. I thought news meant having research as a base for your writing. Apparently not at Temple!
Don’t expect to have your girlfriend much longer. In fact, I think she must be either a) imaginary, or b) robotic in nature. I also would expect that you won’t have any ones in the future.
girlfriend? not with that haircut!
As ridiculous as this guy is, why pretend like women aren’t hormonal, moody, and emotional during this particular time.
It’s okay to not like the presentation, jokes, or metaphors but everyone is acting like he’s telling one big lie or he hurt your feelings but putting things out there so harshly in his own style. If you want to march down broad street because of it, than go right ahead. Don’t think it’s that big of a deal
If your girlfriend acts like that, you both have bigger problems than menstruation.
OK, I realize University newspapers tend to be pretty bad, but this was HORRIBLE. I was constructing better sentences in the fifth grade. Oh, and his message is bullshit too.
i’m so glad this is going to be your last column. reading through the “embrace your girlfriend’s gay best friend!” article was embarrassing enough a few months ago and i didn’t think you could top yourself. even if you have a real live girlfriend(tm), her extreme reaction seems to be an indicator of something rather more serious than typical pms. most women i know are capable of dealing with the pain that comes from our menstrual cycles fairly easily.
i don’t see the harm in this article as much as i see something that is woefully misguided. laughable. oh honey. you tried. and failed spectacularly.
also, heads up, men — women who agree with your perspective of “god it’s just a JOKE,” do not invalidate the opinions of the women who are (rightfully) offended by a man, once again, treating a woman’s bodily functions as a burden to deal with. you don’t put care coins into a woman until sex comes out, and you certainly don’t make a woman feel as though she owes you something.
perhaps more attention should be paid to satirical article writing in the journalism department?
You are great.
Oh my god, you aren’t funny and this article isn’t funny. You don’t know anything about periods. You think you’re suffering? Give me a break, you never have to BLEED FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT, every month, for several decades. Also, to act like women all of a sudden make this metamorphosis into a raging, irrational bitch is such an overplayed cliche. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Japanese body pillows don’t count as real girlfriends, sorry bro.
Just wanted to leave a little note of encouragement, bud. While it may not be politically correct, most comedy isn’t. I enjoyed you highlighting the male’s ‘suffering’ during a woman’s period. Sure, it may not actually measure up to how they feel, but it does affect us too. You’re definitely going to get a lot of publicity from this article, and I wish you the best of luck man.
“I enjoyed you highlighting the male’s ‘suffering’ during a woman’s period.”
Hope you put “suffering” in quotation marks because you realize just how ridiculous that sounds.
You don’t know what “politically correct” means. Articles like this appear in mainstream media while politicians argue if women are actual people. There is nothing more politically correct at the moment than to argue that women are irrational, hormonal bitches that cannot be trusted to know what is going on with their own bodies.
This is hilarious! Thanks for giving us a good laugh. Guys will never understand the pain of cramps but the wonderful part about being a girl is having no chance of being kicked in the balls.
Keep writing!
No. Just, no.
Unless you want to let someone kick you in the balls for a week straight and then write a pithy opinion piece about how CRAZY and MOODY you were as a result.
**Whether that was the case or not, I meant to add.
Yeah because having your period and a man getting slammed in the balls constantly for a week which could kill him by the way, is TOTALLY the same thing. SMH
I thought it was pretty funny. He’s not a he-man woman hater sexist pig or whatever you’re crying about. He described the bitch I turn into when I get my period. It’s tough being a girl, but I can definitely understand it’s tough dating a girl on her period!
If you act like that on your period you need to see your physician. Or a psychiatrist.
Let’s be real ladies, if we’re comparing menstruation to Pokemon, wouldn’t we want to go with Ninetails or Lugia? Perhaps he could have gone with chosen one that was more majestic and feminine. And come on, most of us are on the pill, and mine has an anti-depressant, so my lady times are very short and chill. Stop living in the past, man!
By the way, if I could use a Pokemon to describe you, it would be Slowpoke. You have the similar facial features.
The majority of what I dealt with when I lived in the states were a bunch of angry female Gyarados.
Cringe. Good luck out there with the ladies, champ.
You might know your girlfriend well, but you have little understanding of women in the plural. Many of us don’t have pain or irritability on our period, and there are many things to do in bed with our men or other women that don’t deal with period blood. You seem childish.
Women have been dealing with periods since the beginning of time and guess what? They aren’t that big of a fucking deal. Most women learn how to handle it before they reach their sophomore year of highschool.
If your girlfriend honestly turns into the unstable beast you describe, I’m sorry you’re dating someone with the emotional maturity of a toddler. And if you are the sort of person that tries to write off every emotion other than servility that your girlfriend displays as a result of her raging hormones, I feel truly sorry for her and hope she has the insight to get away from you before you undermine whatever confidence she ever had in herself.
Wow, this must be embarrassing for you. This is some sexist shit you wrote. Hopefully it’ll also be the last thing you write, as you seemingly have no understanding of a basic fact of life and your portrayal of it is off the charts ridiculous.
I hope your hand dumps you after this tyrade
Bless this comment.
If only he spelled tirade correctly, it would have won the comments section. Mind you, that’s like only hitting a triple instead of a home run.
I don’t have much to say on the subject of how offensive this may or may not be except “probably wasn’t in the best taste…” but holy $#!% is it poorly written. Why is essentially every sentence its own paragraph?! It’s more like a long stream of bad one-liners than a column.
One time, I squatted over a piece of paper and pooped on it. The result was far a less contrite piece of writing than this regurgitated rubbish.
Wait, as if he has ever 1. Played hockey 2. Watched hockey
Maybe his girlfriend should also write an article on how to deal with his ugly ass face? Just a suggestion.
Seconded! How he even got one is beyond me.
“the fading chances of satisfying my morning wood…no!”
Oh no, my girlfriend can no longer perform her function as a penis hole!
I’m having trouble believing this guy has a girlfriend or even any girl friends. His misogynistic views seem to be pulled straight from some dusty Victorian pamphlet (turn to page 6 and you’ll see a picture of an Irish person depicted as a raging monkey with a tall glass of beer in each hand) . It’s not some womanly or menstrual thing to turn into a self-centered, scornful, man-hating psycho once a month. If his gf actually does act this way once in a month, she has some personal issues that, I don’t know, probably have something to do with the fact that she’s in a relationship with a blatantly misogynistic, insensitive, and overall shitty boyfriend. Judging by what’s written here and the fact that this dude would publish what basically reads as a smear piece about his gf, I don’t think my assessment is off-base.
Glad I didn’t go to Temple now, if this is what passes for publishable material at the campus paper.
Your tasteless and probably fabricated story has reached Gawker, congrats.
I assume this article was written with the intent to create a buzz, albeit negatively. This tactic is widely used by producers like Patrice Wilson, and others to create a sensation out of negative remarks. Regardless, this piece lacks depthness. The writer has not given the reader his personal experience. When I say that, I mean he has not proven to me that he experienced any of these things he mentioned. I have a girlfriend, and I find this story very comical, yet incorrect in so may levels. I don’t need comedy in an opinion piece. If you are going to write a paper like this, at least come up with some original work. Stop spewing out stereotypes that you can find on Google, and actually talk to a female and get her opinion.
I doubt you talked to anyone, or got any advice from women. Taking to a girl will not hurt you. It will only help you become more aware of their issues. Please do not make up your own story by regurgitating common misconceptions of females.
Hi Roger, Thanks for your insightful comment. Being a woman who PMSes and is not afraid to admit that I, for one, have personally experienced all of the aforementioned stereotypes of menstruation (including but not limited to being inexplicably angry and/or offended and/or weepy by everything my deeply supportive but overall poor, perplexed fiance does or does not do during that time of the month), I initially found this article quite humorous and not at all offensive. True, it is blatantly filled with stereotypes, but to go as far as calling it misogynistic I personally feel is a little overboard. My best (female) friend and I were laughing at some of the ridiculously over-inflamed, self-righteous responses to this commentary; but upon reading yours, I have an appreciation for your criticism. As a professional journalist, I think that there is definitely something to be said for including the personal experiences of some women, if for no other reason, to give the anecdotes some credence; perhaps then, some women might be able to admit, at least to themselves, that this isn’t as false as they might like to convince themselves it is and be able to laugh at themselves a little.
I’m a woman and I think this is absolutely hilarious. Sending this to my boyfriend who will be equally amused. Thanks for the morning laugh 🙂
You two belong with each other, it would seem.
I too, am a woman, and I too find it hilarious.
I’m a man but it’s easy to say otherwise in the name field of the comment box.
The fact that this is getting so much attention is ridiculous. Why do we live in a society were people find any reason to feel they are victimized? It’s so obvious that the author is trying to be humorous, sarcastic, and as many of you pointed out he didn’t do too good a job. If people spent more of their time trying to be proactive in their own lives and communities then we could have a nation worth living in. But instead, people would rather spend their time finding reasons to be victims in what is worth little more than a glance over a morning poo.
I assure you that most women are not here trying to find any reason to feel victimized – the patriarchal society that consistently perpetuates sentiments like those expressed (whether with comedic intent or not) does that for us just fine.
Right on Drepper! I mean, while we’re at, why don’t we make sterotypical jokes about Jews and Blacks!!! I mean, it’s just good natured fun, right Drepper? You must LOVE racist humor! No reason to get bent out of shape about completely invalidating someone’s culture and mocking them through the use of hurtful and just flat out wrong stereotypes, right?
/sarcasm
Oh wait, no it’s not, cuz we don’t live in the 1850’s here! It’s not okay to marginalize people based on stereotypes whether they feel “victimized” or not.
Note: I’m a white male. This article offended me. I don’t feel victimized, I just feel that the author is an ***. The entire article reads like it was ripped from some “Ladies are crazy, am I right fellas?” comedy bit from the 70’s or 80’s. What it is, plain and simple, is pathetic…and supporting it is pathetic too.
All the page view, all the comments. Way to take the bait, Internet.
The worst part is this dude is going to be hired to write for a CBS sitcom in like, three years.
haha exactly. I wouldn’t be suprised if he gets some sort of job through this
But…it’s so badly written!
In today’s wacky episode, men are insensitive towards women because they have different genitalia, and women are manipulative towards them when all they want to do is watch the big game!
What a piece of shit column. Does this stuff actually get printed?
Your girlfriend doesn’t have issues related to her period. She is spoiled and entitled and needs to grow up.
Slow applause.
ou can call John on his radio show right now 214-204-9449 if you feel so strong about this, or keep commenting on the internet that’ll get you really far!
I don’t think I’d be able to control my urge to call him a fucking idiot on live radio tho
It’s a good idea to call, but if that last part of the sentence was meant to be snarky (and I assume it was), that was really silly thing to say. Maybe posting on the internet isn’t as powerful as actually speaking to him (though, and maybe unfairly, based on this article I don’t think he really cares), but absolutely posting comments on this article and on the internet can do something, even if it least means getting other sides and opinions on the story out there.
“I bet this is what it’s like to be in a relationship.”
Seriously, who would fuck this guy?
every woman ive ever met has a miserable attitude when “aunt flow “visits they use it as excuses to get out of everything from sex to work to household responabilities. some are real pains in the neck and pathetic during that time.
you would think you would get used to it if youre old enough to have had a few.
no wonder its often said “never trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die! bunch of whiners. great article! funny too! go post tat on facebook!
Go back to Reddit.
I wish I could upvote this.
You are a disgusting excuse for a human being. May your penis remain ever in the company of your own slimy fist.
Your right hand doesn’t count as a girlfriend you ignorant prick.
The number is 215-204-9449
what a nob
Okay don’t know about you sir but every girl and guy knows that this time is not a time of care, its blow job week, which is probably why your girlfriend is so mad at you during her monthly bleed not because of hormones
This. Is. GLORIOUS!
The only thing more disgusting than his overuse of the one-sentence paragraph is the following, “Plus, she’s “in the mood.” So take advantage of soothing her aches with a couple pelvic shakes.” I hope all of your future pelvic shakes are alone with hand lotion.
ever heard of jerking off or hand jobs?
I don’t find this offensive. I do find it unoriginal and poorly written. This guy isn’t even trying to bring new satire to an already exhausted joke. I get men don’t get periods! Women are emotional and guided by hormones and chocolate! Yuck yuck yuck.
Unoriginal pieces sure get a lot of attention these days. I think my writing is too unique, I’m going to have to tone it down and be less original so I can get 1,000s of pageviews…
“60 Year Old Virgin: The John Corrigan Story” Based on a true story. Coming to Theaters in July of 2072. #templemade
That would make him 0 years old… BOO
I get where the humor is coming from, women can be completely different people during their periods but this was simply sexist. Basically you’re saying the mood swings and the fact that our uterus is shedding its lining prevents you from getting sex. That’s great. If I was your girlfriend, I would be sick by the way I was portrayed in this article: as a sex object. It’s really sad when you think society is making strides away from issues like sexism and racism and homophobia, then articles like these pop up.
If “the time of the month” wasn’t exaggerated in so many forms (like this article) the actual reality of it would come through. It’s not that bad. It’s just a little of hormones acting up…oh and the fact that part of you body is literally changing, every month.
I noticed this was your “final column,” John: is this really what your were burning to write about? First of all, it’s boring. Second of all, it lacks focus, conviction, and any sort of supporting data. It simply relies on tired, sexist babbling that (barley) attempts to condescend to tolerating women for–gasp!–menstruating, and not-so-subtly mocks them. If this is your idea of going down in a blaze of journalistic glory, than you know as little about the art of journalism as you do about women. I want to be offended, and I guess on some level I am, but I mostly just super underwhelmed by the quality of this article. Such crap.
Exactly. EXACTLY.
kids, temple kids; are too damn sensitive. good work John me and the gf are raving.. do i actually have a gf you say? ….who cares
Your*
Corrigan-Sheen 2016
You people getting bent out of shape over a silly article are sick. Most of you have no idea who your congressman is, nor do you know or care about the dead Americans in Benghazi, nor do you care about our rights being taken from us little by little each day…BUT you attack like killer bees when a college kid writes about a PERIOD. Pathetic.
Amen.
Then why are you here? Why aren’t you writing your Congressman (mine’s Bobby Rush D IL) then instead of commenting on this story? Why aren’t you out holding a candlelight vigil for the families of those killed in the attack, or whatever else it is you seem to feel you can judge me for NOT doing? No, you’re here, just like me, commenting on this article.
These same people outraged, wishing ill will toward a COLLEGE KID who wrote an article root for a quarterback who drowned and electrocuted dogs and were sad when Miichael Jackson, who habitually had kids in his bed, died. BUT a period story gets the blood boiling? Get a perspective!
+1 to this. perspective is in order.
Imus makes a joke- you want him fired. Limbaugh calls a dopey woman a slut, you call for firing. This guy writes an article- you hope he doesn’t get a job. What is that??? You disagree…fine. You think the article sucks…great. But why must everyone be fired??? LOL Because you disagree? That’s insane. Of course Bill Maher calls women cunts and you celebrate him because the women are conservative. Hashtag- HYPOCRITES
Oh my god! I’m my feelings are so hurt! This is the first time I ever read a guy talk about menstral cycles! You all need to get over it and get a life. It’s called humor. I’m woman and I thought that this article was very funny. In fact this is the first article that I’ve read from Temple’s newpaper and now I’m a fan. Can’t wait until next semester to see what else he will write.
On behalf of men and journalists everywhere, I’d just like to say that this column can fuck off.
To the ladies who find this funny:
How does that patriarchal kool-aid taste?
To the ladies who are offended by this article:
Find something worth while to be angry about. Your whining about this idiots poor attempt at being humorous makes you look just as silly as he does.
Your ignorance of females is absolutely offensive; good luck trying to ever find a girlfriend again.
Okay, firstly, I suspect you have never even talked to a female, judging by your complete lack of understanding of the female psyche. Women don’t need any special treatment or coddling to “take their minds off of cramps.” Believe it or not, there are plenty of women, right this moment, walking around with their periods…and they’re surviving!!! Wow, who knew! Sure, having a period sucks most of the time, but no woman wants to be patronized by their male friends. Ech. ECH. You disgust me. And while I’m at it–I’m not usually one for low blows, but since you are particularly scummy, I will tell you this: if that picture at the top of the page is of you…I’m really becoming convinced you just made up a “girlfriend.” Take your fedora and go, sir. Go, and do not come back. Ever. (And to those defending this, saying it’s “humor”… it’s not funny sooooo)
I’m so baffled by all of these responses. You’re telling me of ALL things on the internet to be offended by, this is what you have a problem with? You all need to read more, first and foremost.
Secondly, people need to relax with being so uptight and victimized. This is clearly a purposely over-exaggerated, humor column poking sarcastic wit on something people are so afraid to talk about. If you swapped out John’s headshot and name with a girl’s, sadly no one would be reading or talking about this. But because it’s written by a man and can be seen as discrimination, it’s everywhere.
I’m a woman, and I think it’s hilarious. I couldn’t have thought of some of those clever comparisons on my own and I actually experience a menstrual cycle first-hand. I actually have my period right now, and I very much resemble all that he just described. I can’t even deal with myself while I’m PMSing, let alone having boyfriend and anyone else who crosses my path tolerate my crazy hormonal mood swings. Seeing how defensive some of you are is just validating that what he’s saying (in a much more basic mindset) is true. And it is. And it’s funny.
His intentions weren’t to penalize women for something they have little control over; they were to make you laugh. Maybe he’d have more success next time if he focused on how men are sleazy, lying assholes. I can assume you ladies would enjoy that much more, although you can just read Cosmopolitan for that.
Lighten up, everyone. There are much larger worries.
That about sums it up.
This is so hilarious! I don’t know why people are getting so offended! I’m a girl who is actually currently PMSing as I type this and he speaks the absolute truth. And about that patriarchal kool-aid, you need to sit down. It was never that serious.
I hope one day that Corrigan is as ashamed as he should be to have his name and face associated with this trash. He sounds like an immature, spoiled, man-child who has no idea exactly how frequently he interacts with women who happen to be menstruating. It probably happens every, single, day. And shame on Temple for publishing this sub tabloid quality drivel.
You hit the nail on the head, buddy. Finally someone sheds light on the true reasons why every woman doesn’t immediately get a sex change once she comes of age: YOGA!!!!!!!! Seriously, I think yoga should be free for all women since we pay our monthly blood fee, I mean HELLO??!?
This article could be the first step to socialized yoga and aerobics classes. It is our right. I mean the only reason that vagina still exists (and vagina is necessary for populating the world and for having sex in the missionary position like God intended) is because taking yoga classes as a transgender dude would just be embarrassing.
Thank you so much for shedding light on this pressing matter. The world should know the oppression the female race must endure to get our healthy fix. If yoga classes are not socialized soon, what does this mean for yoga pants? Oh.. you thought we didn’t know that those things make our backdoors look too dang good? We know. Why else would we wear them!? To attract the strongest men. Who else will take care of us in our time of uncontrollable emotional distress and crippling physical pain?
I’m pretty sure the only thing I do during my period is change my tampon. But then again, perhaps in my werewolf-like transformational state, the rage was blurring my experience so thoroughly that I’m choosing to forget the sales clerk I must have murdered while trying to quench my undeniable thirst for nothing but chocolate from this aforementioned Dr. Hershey.
I’m also pretty positive that having a period every 28 days suggests that your lady is on birth control, which means she’s hopped up on estrogen and other fun hormones all the time. Like the rest of us who take the pill. So, when she gets a little moody, it’s probably because you’ve done something utterly ridiculous, like post a vile public opinion column, not because her uterus is bleeding.
This is the dumbest article ever. Aside from the it being inaccuarte…. did you really feel the need to write about something that has been going on since humans began to procreate? Moreover, who cares?
The real problem with John Corrigan’s little green potato of an advice column is how embarrassingly not funny it is. If you’re going to tackle something like this, John, you really ought to have at least a nugget of talent somewhere in that charming dome. Oh, and for all those people commenting about how ugly you are, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll grow into your face someday.
This is disgusting. I’m not even ultra feminist and this was completely enraging. This is embarrassing for the university and should be even more embarrassing to you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp_R4cIIaAI
@4:20
I’m not even in Philadelphia. Yet some how, these legendary piece of crap has reached my eyes. This article is an embarrassment for the journalist, but the editor as well for letting this piece of crap fly.
John—
Do you realize that, when people Google your name, they will find this? I hope you’re proud, and prepared to defend yourself to every girlfriend you’ll ever have.
“They call it a period, but an exclamation point is more appropriate”
No such thing as bad publicity.
College kids are so soft. You’re not allowed to make fun of anything anymore if someone gets hurt. This is why The New Girl is popular and it’s sad because that show stinks. Zooey Deschanel has the comedic timing of a Charles Whitman bullet.
Welcome to the real world where people aren’t going to like everything about you.
I’m a woman and not offended by this at all. I think it’s creative, witty and outside the box. It’s obvious through reading this he isn’t trying to attack women but poke fun on an off-beat topic.
Also, +1 for the Pokemon reference.
Great article John. I thought it was very funny and comical. If you dont like, dont read it. Fuck you. He wont change his style of writing because of these dumb ignorant comments. Have a sense of humor and lighten up people. This is the typical thoughts of a teenage boy just like myself. If you writing a comment in anger you obviously have no sex and will be a 40 year old virgin. John is going places and none of you will stop him. Everyone just relax. You are way to sensitive and your opinions dont mean shit so stop. Not all articles are meant to be what you want and accepted by everyone. He is a writer, he has freedom of speech and just because you cant write one yourself dont hate. Thanks!
“This is the typical thoughts of a teenage boy just like myself.”
Enough said.
Freedom of speech means freedom to speak against the government, not to say whatever kind of bs you want with impunity.
I thought this was pretty funny. I’m unbearable during that time of the month and seeing it from a guy’s point of view is always funny. Congrats on making it to the Huff Post.
I see that the majority of the readers of the article do not have a funny bone in their body. I found this article posted on my friends wall and really enjoyed reading it. Yes, I am a girl, and yes I did laugh with the article. It is his point of view of the subject, therefore it does not necessarily have to be fit to your expectations. I believe what he was trying to do is put a good laugh in the newspaper for his last column, which I think he was very successful in completing. Please head my advice: lighten up. Life is too short to be bashing a writer for the Temple News. Embrace the humor and have a good day. Happy Finals Week!
Seriously? People are really this upset over such a harmless article? The women who are posting comments saying this is demeaning and sexist are really playing the feminist card hardcore. I’m all for equal rights and I personally treat women great but come on…really? You’re going to freak out and attack this article for something so harmless? I wouldn’t be surprised if you are the same people that claim that being sexually free and sleeping around/being a slut is liberating for women. My point is, you should probably get tested. Tested for what you ask? Well, retardation for starters and if the former mention of being sexually free fits your persona then probably STI’s as well.
Wow, you managed to degrade the mentally challenged and sexually active women in one go. Good job!
what do you have against normal paragraphs?
Most of the emotional stuff happens during PMS for me. Also, periods aren’t that big of a deal! Lol, you haven’t figured out how to cope when your girlfriend is on her period yet? It isn’t hard if you are with the right person. Just offer to buy the pads/tampons, midol, and chocolate ice cream. If she is in agonizing pain, rub her back. But really, we experience our periods once a month, so unless your girlfriend is 14 and experiencing her period for the first time, it isn’t that big a deal because we accept it as fate 12 times a year! No surprises anymore.
This a narrow-minded, misogynistic excuse for journalism. Temple should be embarrassed by this. The site calls it Temple News…since when is ill-informed chauvinism credible commentary?
Clearly since you intend to change your relationship status with this last column your girlfriend really serves no purpose besides being a penis hole and, apparently, torturing you during her menstrual cycle. I can only say how much I encourage her to leave you and find someone who doesn’t project her personal problems as if he actually is affected by them. Suck it up. Be a man. Take care of your woman confidently and confidentially, and don’t bitch to the internet about how every girlfriend is a growling monster on their menstrual cycle.
I’ll say a prayer for you, all right. But after this: go to hell.
What a dumbie.
Honestly, I’m more perturbed with the fact that this guy seems to have little to no interest in actually understanding his female partner. As someone who writes for a relationship column, you think the dialogue would be focused on tips to understanding and empathizing with your girlfriend over an-over-the-top slapslick comedy bit about periods.
Have fun working at Fox News! Your brand of “humor” and outdated opinions of women and menstruation will fit right in with all those alcoholic zealots and bitter virgins, like yourself. Also, single-sentence paragraphs should be used when you’re telling the reader something exciting or important, not mindless drivel like this. Your insultingly simplistic and uninspired prose will be a great asset to Fox — they’re your kind of people.
PMS is a response to nutrient deficiency.
What does “you’re about to learn what motivated those recent abs” mean? This article doesn’t make any sense.
I am a 37 year old women that thinks this article is hilarious! I have suffered the wrath of Aunt Flow for many years, she is a emotional wreck at times and is definitely irrational. This article made me laugh, I know that it has to be hard on men to deal with the craziness of the out of control hormones that come along with the monthly dread. To all the women that were offended over this article do yourself a favor and lighten up. In no way is this a damsel in distress or a reference to sexism . This is a young mans funny point of view on the monthly apocalypes!
Like many before you, you’re being criticized for telling the honest truth. You also write well and lightly. Congrats. Many of us males know exactly what you mean.
why are people taking this so seriously? it’s a column written by a COLLEGE student. get over yourselves and learn to take a joke. there’s bigger things going on in the world today than some nobody writing an article on the internet. you people are all idiots, your offense is getting this kid national exposure. mr.corrgian, way to play the game on all these fools.
Wow. That was really stupid. I mean, I’m not offended by the juvenile and cliché humor. It’s just, well, stupid.
After watching a few repeating National Car Rental commercials during webcasts of the Daily Show, my girlfriend finally asked me :Who the hell IS that guy?!” I told her it was Joe Buck. After a bunch more of the same commercial she said “If I ever see that guy in the airport I am going to kick him the balls.” I never thought anyone would knock him from the top spot on her list. I was wrong. Kudos.
Really? This guy? I think he read every negative article on PMS out there and is passing it off as something he’s experienced with his “girlfriend’ – if he even has one.
This could be totally offensive if a woman were to take it in the wrong way– I mean, it plays off cheap gender stereotypes, incriminates the suffering female, yada yada.
But as a satirical look at menstruation from a guy’s perspective (not all guys! just one man’s point of view!), I found this article hilarious.
It’s one of those things that, at some point, someone really just has to say. Periods can be painful and confusing for both sexes in a relationship, so thank you for pointing out some of those nuances that females may not have previously been aware of.
Happy periods for couples are possible!
Just imagine what a lesbian relationship during “that time of the month” is like…
Salut~
I’m bored. I’m SO bored!
Nothing irritates me more than generalizations like this for an entire gender. Just because your girlfriend is a bitch doesn’t mean all women are like this on their periods. And sorry you’re not mature enough to have sex when your girl’s on her period.
p.s. sorry for the attitude, it’s that time of the month
As an editor of a popular magazine I just happened to stumble upon this. Please fire whoever is in charge of any journalism program this student belongs to.
I actually thought it was true And funny! I am a woman so I know how completely true this can be when it is a particularly nasty period (hormone-wise lol) . Some things were a bit embellished, but seeing as how they are based on the average males point of view it is understandable. I think it kind of ridiculous how offended some women get over articles like this (probably because they not only know how true it is, but they themselves do it). I mean, men aren’t prepared for the onslaught of hormonal arrows and grenades flung in their direction once a month. It may not even be from just a significant other… females are EVERYWHERE lol. This article was honest and respectable. If the feminists want to stake a claim to freedom of speech why is it they think men are aholes for voicing their opinion. Is it wrong because it differs from your own? Honestly, if you want equality.. then why do you not treat men with the respect you obviously crave so badly. Ingenious article sir lol.
John, I loved this article. It did exactly what you intended it to do, made me laugh. Why everyone would insist you are an ass or anything over this article is beyond me, but then again my intelligence is more than that of a four year old, and clearly many of the people who commented still haven’t reached kindergarten. If anyone is going to get offended by this article, then they are gonna be eaten alive in the real world. To be so sensitive that you can’t even laugh at some of the stereotypes and jokes in this article, that are clearly meant as jokes, is just sad. Especially all the women who are commenting so upset. Honestly, the only thing that can be said to those people is grow up. No one was personally attacked, and frankly, men and women were the butt of his jokes. If your gonna cry over this article, then good luck with the rest of your life, because honestly your going to need it.
I have dealt with many of these exact situations with my ex girlfriend and current girlfriend. I have made the trips to seven eleven at 11 at night to buy a slice of shitty pizza to satisfy some odd craving. I have been told I am heartless and a monster for falling asleep without saying goodnight during this horrible time of the month. So you keep writing the truth John, and ill keep laughing at your jokes and reading your articles.
Oh and for all those idiots who are so mad they can’t get a girlfriend themselves that they have to insult someone they don’t even know, I’m truly sorry your life is that sad and miserable you have to insult others in order to feel better about yourselves.
John,
You’re completely right and I love you. Can’t wait to be on your show next semester.
peace and blessings
xo
Well I am a female and I find this article to be comical and relatable. It is true that you guys probably wouldn’t understand how horrible it feels to have a tasmanian devil in your uterus and nor should we expect you to. I think it’s funny to hear about what it feels like from the other side. The only thing I am slightly confused by is how the guy who wrote this article would possibly know what this is like (and so vividly might I add). He looks like he has never had a girlfriend. And so, I am a little bit concerned about the credibility of this article. I digress. As a female, I apologize to all of the males that have been affected by our horrible Double X chromosome problems. All I ask is that you bear with us in our time of need. We need your sensitivity and your support at this time more than ever.
This article was fucking terrible. Does the Temple News have a play pen of toddlers for editorial staff? Is it just a bunch of hairless, ferret-brained frat boys high-fiveing eachother about sneaking “morning wood” into a Temple news article? (note: “fiveing” comes up as wrong on Firefox spell-check and under possible corrections for the word the only option is “fingering”. Not far off)
First of all, what kind of sociopath finds it acceptable to organize a journalistic narrative as a series of disjointed, nearly unrelated sentences. What am I reading your fucking Twitter account? Who thinks it is a good idea to attempt to write a story by simply stringing together clever-esque one-liners and slang terms for menstruation?
Second, what the hell makes you think starting off an article with a reference to your erection is an at all acceptable way to make people want to read your story? I mean, if I just started off every paper I wrote with “by the way, professor I have a penis” I would probably be arrested. Unfortunately, nobody has yet thought to revoke your right to free speech.
Finally, what infuriates me most is that the author is probably going to take some kind of unwarranted, smug pride in having caused a stir and received so many comments on an article; he will likely feel like a trailblazer, a muckraker, someone who is doing a service by providing a space for public discussion of complicated social issues. Please be assured: NOT ALL PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY.
In closing the Temple News is a shit rag, and its reporters are untalented morons.
People need to get their sticks out of their asses and just lighten up. This article is obviously supposed to humorous, and the author is just writing about how he deals with his girlfriend’s menstrual cycle in a comical way. I’m pretty sure MOST guys would agree with this article to a certain extent :p
And this is coming from a girl.
I just want to tell you how very proud I am of you. Stay strong and true yourself do not let the oppinions of everyone influence or discourage who you are. Personally I thought it was funny and truth be told, TRUE!!!!! The women who don’t like it, well they are in denial and the men, they are just being men, generally glueless and this is why you needed to write about it. Is this topic somewhat taboo, sure but who cares. It is all part of relationships and the more people understand and know the better everyone is!!!!! Love you tons <3 Aunt Barb
Be a man. Swim in the river. : 3
BRAVO JOHN
What absolute trollop. The Temple News is honestly just half a tier above a tabloid.
Good stuff man. You even made huffpo news. Know what’s funny? Sites like huffpo and the atlantic slam men ALL the time. Articles like the “end of men” and others on how marriage is heading down the tubes because it’s men’s fault..give me a break. Yet, a guy writes a piece of satire that pokes at the menstrual cycle and the claws come out.
I can tell some of the people in the comments are trying to be funny themselves by saying the same old insults used against men in general.
Pull the sticks out of your asses and laugh. Is this what passes for feminism nowadays? Attacking a piece of satire because it involves women? Seriously, makes me feel even better about moving out of the U.S and away from the estrogen fueled stampede.
If you ignore how sexist this article is, it’s still unbelievably unfunny and unoriginal. Oh man, women get emotional on their periods, what a shocking observation! He’s literally just regurgitating other jokes which have been shat out by comedians for the past 500 years, and he’s not even doing it in any kind of clever or original way! Seriously, I can sum up this whole article as “LOL WOMEN ON THEIR PERIODS AMIRITE GUYS?” And if you find that funny and hilarious then you really should reevaluate your sense of humor, because it’s broken. I mean shit all of his examples of how women act on their periods are from sitcoms and movies. I think this article seems to forget that women are people and not sexist stereotypes.
Also I’d like to point out that he basically says “yeah man, your girl is in awful pain every month. You are clearly the one suffering here.”
I am a female (honestly though, it shouldn’t matter whether I’m a female or not, but everyone is socially conditioned to believe that it actually makes a difference) and I can’t say that I dislike this article. At the same time, I don’t like it either. The topic is one that we’ve all heard of before. He makes a period sound like huge struggle when it really isn’t. “The agony, the torture”, “to conquer the menstrual struggle”, and “pray for jury duty every 28 days”? Really? Could you make it sound any more dramatic?
He was probably trying to sound funny, but could have done a lot better. The article is full of hyperbole, which is probably why so many women are offended by this article (lol). Good storytellers are ones who lie, but I believe that the best storytellers are the ones who are honest. Nice try, but maybe you should write something of value next time (if you ever get the chance).
Jesus, what utter crap. Whether it’s misogynistic or not is beside the point… what offends me most is how poorly written it is. I recommend you learn how to use paragraphs for your next effort!
Genius
I am appalled on how this article is written. Your idea of “humor” isn’t funny in any way shape or form. Nor should you be sacrificing your relationship to “your loyal readers”. In “college”, you want to try to built a network of people, and by writing this, your name will most likely be remembered for what you wrote here.
Wow. You sound like a thirteen years old boy. And you’re crude. I’m not impressed with your vocabulary or you’re journalistic skill. Truly. I predict you’ll work solo in a dirty little office at your mother’s home.
What an asshole. Please don’t breed.