Does misandry exist?

I first experienced medical misogyny when I was 21 years old. 

I rushed myself to the emergency room with severe abdominal pain. A male doctor wrote my ailment off as heartburn and when I attempted to advocate for myself, he gave me Valium, stating I had become “hysterical” and there was nothing wrong with me.

Two trips back to the ER and two primary care appointments later, I was scheduling surgery to have my gallbladder removed. 

Misandry is the “dislike and distrust of men,” a concept that sparks debates about whether or not men are negatively affected by feminism. I often hear that all feminists are misandrists, but the narrative of women’s independence is not nearly as harmful as the systematic idea that women can’t function without men. 

While women are targeted in violent attacks, medical malpractice and career setbacks, men continue to dominate positions of power, benefit from wealth disparities and maintain political control of women’s healthcare access. In 2024, only 8.2% of CEOs were women — largely  because gender stereotypes can plague women as incapable of holding leadership positions compared to men, according to a 2023 report by Catalyst, a global non-profit that supports women in the workplace.  

I didn’t think misandy existed. But like most people, I didn’t fully understand what it was. I thought it was the inverse of misogyny, which is the systematic oppression and hatred of women because of their gender. 

I think the confusion arises from not knowing the difference between the meaning of oppression and dislike. Groups like Men’s Rights Activists cite laws that are passed to protect women to claim modern feminism oppresses men. These laws include No-Fault Divorce, which wasn’t legal in all 50 states until 2010, martial rape laws that still have constitutional loopholes in 10 states and Roe v. Wade, which was overturned in 2022.  

In my experience, misogyny creates fear and imbalance rather than mutual oppression. Power structures throughout history have been designed to reinforce male dominance at the expense of anyone who is not a cisgender man. 

Feminism advocates for equal rights and if a man feels threatened to the point he accuses them of misandry, then the foundations of the system need to be evaluated and reconstructed. Granting a woman more rights doesn’t equate to taking away men’s rights or being systematically targeted by feminists. 

My friends and I have experienced the damaging effects of sexism and misogyny firsthand.

When I was 22, I spoke to my brother about what I do to ensure my safety while I’m out. From checking the backseat and disabling the auto-unlock feature, a factory default in my car, to carrying self-defense weapons and never accepting drinks from strangers at a bar. 

He said I’m too cautious and there’s no reason for me to be doing any of this. After the conversation, I felt invalidated. 

Many of my friends follow similar rules to ensure their safety. We aren’t being too cautious, we’re being smart. 

When I was sitting next to my best friend in the hospital the night she was roofied at a bar, the conversation with my brother weighed heavily on my mind. She didn’t accept a drink from a stranger and we were still here. 

The male doctor wouldn’t provide a toxicology test because it wasn’t cost-effective, and my best friend didn’t file a report because she didn’t think the police would believe her without the toxicology report. 

We attempted to retrieve video footage from the establishment where she was roofied but failed. The owner told us “Men don’t waste their drugs on women.” He was wrong, but they didn’t believe us because we didn’t have proof – we were trapped in a vicious cycle. 

Men mostly benefit from the law. By inciting a movement to overturn these laws allowing women freedom to file for divorce or safely report cases of domestic violence and sexual assault, the MRA creates a dangerous narrative. They send a message that they believe the freedom of a woman is synonymous with the oppression of a man.

While I don’t hate every man I encounter, I hate the system that repeatedly benefits men only, and men who believe that this isn’t a corrupt system. I must be cautious of every man I encounter because misogynists hide in plain sight. 

Misogyny exists in legislation, healthcare, employment, education and even in the actions of our president. This is how systemic oppression is created — not just through a single system, but through all the systems working together toward one goal of elevating men while restricting women. 

I live in a country where more than 70 million people voted for an openly misogynistic man who brags about sexually assaulting women. Allowing someone who has spewed misogynistic rhetoric into a position of such power normalizes misogynistic actions in society. 

If sexual assault doesn’t bar a man from the presidency, then men have nothing to lose.

Misandry exists, but not in the way I imagined. I don’t see systemic oppression of men, just women who inherently mistrust men due to years of oppression and men who fear that one day the tables will turn against them. 

In addition to institutional changes that dismantle the prioritization of the comfort of men over the safety and health of women, we have to change as a society. Conversations like the one with my brother need to move into genuine understanding and support. By dismissing and invalidating the lived experiences of women, the cycle of fear and mistrust is reinforced.