It is kind of creepy to think of all the different situations we experience at exactly the same time as people we do not know. Simultaneous first dates going on in the same restaurant, babies being born in the same hospital and people all going to the bathroom at the same time. Is it just me, or does that last one freak anyone else out? It’s a group pee every time you have to go in a public restroom, and I personally do not enjoy it at all. Go ahead, and call me Paul Finch from American Pie – I do not care.
The thought of a handful of women sitting in a row with only a pathetic plastic divider between us while we all relieve ourselves is too much for me. I need my privacy, thus being in college is quite annoying. I have my secret on-campus bathrooms, where one can actually take a leak without a circus going on outside the stall. To calm my nerves after being forced to use a public restroom, I usually check Twitter for a pick-me-up.
To my dismay, I see that people are far too open about their restroom usage. The tweets range from obnoxious “crossin’ mah legs B4 I wet myself OMG LOLZ,” to the most disturbing use of a cell phone camera I have ever witnessed. People, what the hell is wrong with you all?
@TruckNorth: …Ever wash ur hands after using a public restroom and peep the subtle competetion that exists when its time to wash ur hands ???..lol
@SourDeezle: Club TECH…just like any other club sunday morning, empty as all hell. Bathroom even clean enuff to breath in. #ComeThru
@SourDeezle must not go clubbing very often, as I have never had a serious issue with the TECH Center’s restrooms, and I am a serious critic. Two words: automatic flushers. But, if for some reason @SourDeezle is right, I am deeply concerned. The TECH Center has always been a safe haven for clean bathroom usage. I see a bladder infection in my future if I hold it through all of my clubbing hours.
@TrLandi: Lost and Found. I just lost my Temple ID? I don’t know how I didn’t even move. But, I found it in the bathroom.
Please, just get a new Owl Card, or wipe that thing off with some heavy-duty bleach. At least once a week, I walk into a public restroom to find someone was unable to make the toilet. How exactly this happens, I have no idea. I am assuming people have the fear of sitting on the germy toilet seat, but let me ask this: What is more disgusting – sitting on the seat or leaving your feces all over the floor for someone else to find? When you personally witness this horror, the only thing to do is to tell someone about it. More times than not, the person to whom you vent has multiple stories of the same caliber. Thus, my point is that virtually every bathroom is tainted, and now, so is your Owl Card.
As much as I can joke about public restrooms, I am almost certain the phobia will never go away. So next time you are checking yourself out in the bathroom mirrors for a significant amount of time and see the feet of a lone visitor from under a stall door, please leave because it is probably me trying to pee.
Samantha Krotzer can be reached at email@example.com.