Temple Tweets

I am not realistic. For example, Temple canceled classes two days last week due to “Frankenflake.” In my mind, this means Temple does not exist, I am not a student, and I am free to cruise Twitter forever without any consequences, unless pure happiness is a consequence. I accidently logged into Blackboard thinking it was my Twitter account to find out that Temple is in fact real and that I am still enrolled, somehow. An even sadder fact is that I have mounds of work to do that put the snow to shame. What’s a girl to do? Cry to Twitter. Transcripts can be lost, but tweets are forever.

@bankaipatton: Took part in the most epic snowball fight of all time Tuesday night at the Belltower at Temple. I love snow.

The Bell Tower is a pretty awesome place to have a snowball fight, as it is kind of mystical with the fences, shrubbery, shadows and ledges. I’m sure some “Dungeons and Dragons” or “Legend of Zelda” fantasies were fulfilled during this snowball fight. And, to be honest, it really seems like 90 percent of the people who hang out at the Bell Tower are into that kind of thing. More importantly though, when did the word “epic” become the new cool word? I have no idea, and now @bankaipatton is saying that there are levels of epic-ness. Must be a gamer thing.

@rodrigotorrejon: The girls at Temple look ROUGH on snow days. No class= scrubbed out + no makeup. OD methhead lookalikes.

Where to begin? Apparently, if dudes wear sweats, it is perfectly acceptable. It sends out the “chill” vibe, which to me, means douche bag. But, if a female is to wear sweat pants, she does meth. I have no doubt that there is a tweet lingering in the twitosphere that says something like, “SLUTS at Temple wearing skirts in the snow, wtf???” We can’t win. Oh, and P.S., make-up isn’t plastic surgery. Not wearing some powder and eyeliner is not going to make anyone look like she has the sores and sunken cheeks of a meth head.

@abbywarhol: there is a big snow dick by the edge?? lmfao i love temple

There would be a big snow penis by the Edge. I wish I could understand the human fascination with the penis. Don’t get me wrong; I have drawn plenty of penises on fogged-up car windows, but that doesn’t mean I understand it.

@sincerelyMYA: Ohmygosh Temple (my university) closed down for the snow. Stop the insanity. They never do that bulls–t.

Bullshit? Temple being closed is the furthest thing from bulls–t, and believe me, my entire life is built on a framework of bulls–t. Having those days off from class was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes, I am now failing, but that is beyond the point. @sincerelyMYA, we lived through an important part of history, and you need to appreciate it.

Like Bon Jovi says, it is lonely at the top, so as my life falls to shambles from the snow days, maybe it really is just a blessing in disguise.

Samantha Krotzer can be reached at samantha.krotzer@temple.edu.