Summer is on the horizon, yet still out of reach, and the usual tension of registering for classes is putting most students on edge. I should have been excited to register for classes, or I should be excited considering only two classes are currently on my roster, but I’m not. Next year will be my senior year, and I’ll be taking my capstone course, which is going to steal my will to live, along with some other classes that will just make me wish I were 89 and in a nursing home already.
I know what the real problem is. It isn’t registering for classes or even an underlying fear of not knowing what to do with my life after college – it is that life has robbed me of time to nap.
That’s right. All I want is for someone to give me a juice box, pat me on the head and tell me to go to sleep for a few hours. I always knew people were living the dream and napping their lives away, but now I have to hear about it through overly descriptive tweets. From what I remember, I know naps are typically good. So why is it necessary to tweet, “BEST NAP EVER AHHHH I AM THE GOD OF NAPS”? Are you trying to make me more jealous than I already am? While I am dunking my head into a pot of coffee, too many tweeters are boasting about their nap skills or how excited they are to take a nap. Well, you know what I am excited for? For you to all have a bad nap. Will you tweet about that? Huh?
@groovesucka: debating on whether to nap in bed or on the couch. decisions.
Is it really difficult to make such a serious decision like that? I have to deal with some of the same issues, but I usually have to decide if I want to take a nap between midnight and 4 a.m. or between 3 a.m. and 7 a.m. But, @groovesucka, does it even matter whether I sleep on a bed or the couch? I doubt it because I don’t need to worry about back problems. My sleep-deprived body is going to give out long before I reach that being-89-and-living-in-a-nursing-home dream. Only the good die young, so it’s OK.
@laurengural: i need a nap. and a decent meal.
Me too, sister. If you are what you eat, then I am a huge, cheesy bag of Doritos. Doritos are beyond decent – they are incredible. However, in terms of meals, eating a 13,000-calorie bag of chips isn’t the smartest idea. It’s unfair that if “pizza is on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime,” but it is inappropriate to eat Doritos the same way. SMH.
@heyheath: I’ve taken more naps in the last week than I have in my entire life. On that note, I’m going to bed.
You, @heyheath, are a very selfish person.
@aieshalovesu: I <3 when I take naps and wake up and he's still here.
Double whammy, @aieshalovesu. One: You have time for naps, so you are already on my bad side. Two: You are happy your boyfriend is still there when you nap together? Why are you giving a dude a gold star for not ditching you while you are sleeping? Unless you are talking about your cat, I think you need to get a grip.
Maybe I am so bitter because I need a little quality time with this nap character I hear so much about. When I do get the opportunity, I am going to do the nap equivalent to a slam dunk and go wild in a tweet rage about how totally awesome it was.
Samantha Krotzer can be reached at email@example.com.