Tweeters, we’ve reached the 140th character of the semester. Instead of downloading an application that allows my tweets to extend the limit, I will leave it at this: Thanks for laughing with me, or at me. As long as someone is laughing, I am content.
Most of all, I would like to thank some very special readers. It is really awesome to get e-mails at 4 a.m. telling me I am a loser for not knowing who Asher Roth is. Hey, guess what? I still don’t know who he is, and I still don’t care. But thanks for thinking of me at 4 a.m. Hopefully, whoever you are, you were drunk because I love receiving drunk communication.
My air conditioner will most likely break during the hottest week of the summer, and I am sad that I will not be able to write about how pissed off I am. Don’t worry; although there won’t be a column dedicated to it, I will – without a doubt – resort to Twitter in my time of desperation.
The semester might be coming to a close, but I will never stop judging. I write this in celebration of another semester under my belt, but some of my peers have a little more going on under their belts. The research is done, and the verdict is in: People are boning in the library. Now that’s what I call a real celebration.
@TempleLibraries: Starting today, Paley Library will be open 24 hours a day through the end of finals on Wednesday May 12. Get your studying groove on!
People are certainly grooving. The idea of public sex is a turn on for a lot of people, but that’s the thing with ideas – they’re in your head. I don’t want to catch some horny couple go at it while I am trying to study. I’m sure that couple think they are bringing sexy back with their sexcapades, but nine times out of 10, they probably look like two awkward fish flopping around on each other. If I wanted to watch mediocre porn, I would just go home and dust off my old VHS tapes.
@naycutie: @raneyyy tru shit, come to the library. It’s NOTHING like the tech. I been gettin hella work done 566
Hmm, @naycuite, what exactly do you mean by “getting hella work done”? Maybe I am being too critical, but there are probably few places on campus that haven’t been christened.
@kylekinder: @pspie It must be mayhem in there lolol. I’m enjoying a nice quiet night at the library..3rd floor, not much going on..crunch time u no
This sounds a little bit like an invitation. Is it really necessary to say that you are on the third floor? This isn’t Foursquare. I smell a secret agenda. I am very suspicious of you, @kylekinder – so suspicious that I won’t even make fun of your incredible disturbing decision to write “no” instead of “know.” Oops.
@TempleLibraries: Need a quiet place to study, read, or simply decompress? Try the 3rd floor of Paley Library!
After reading this issue of The Temple News, @TempleLibraries will never tweet anything about the third floor ever again. People are decompressing all over the third floor.
Maybe I am boring for not wanting to get laid in the library, but I am more an equipment-office type of girl anyway.
Samantha Krotzer can be reached at email@example.com.