Since I was 10 years old, I’ve been plagued by debilitating migraines.
I vividly remember the first migraine I had, which struck while I was playing four-square in the recess yard. My vision started to narrow and my body went numb. I felt a pulsing sensation on the right side of my head accompanied by a stabbing pain that felt like an ice-pick was being driven through my eye. Migraines became a regular occurrence from that point on, disrupting my life every few months.
One of the worst periods of migraines I endured was at the age of 16 when I began taking birth control pills. They started as bad headaches but gradually progressed to include auras and hemiplegia, causing motor weakness and numbness in my limbs.
These migraines happened once or twice a month and lasted for days, leaving me debilitated and afraid to leave the house in fear of having a migraine. I felt like I was trapped inside a shell of anxiety that turned me into a person I didn’t recognize.
I started spending lots of time overanalyzing my body and how I felt, looking for symptoms of an oncoming migraine, like back pain or a sore neck. I’d spend hours in bed with my windows closed and curtains drawn so I wouldn’t trigger an episode.
After enduring this cycle for around six months, I finally sought help from a neurologist who informed me my birth control was causing the migraines and heightening my risk of stroke.
I was shocked because I was never informed of the potential consequences of the medication I was taking. This revelation was followed by a deep sense of anger. The medication that was supposed to be safe and beneficial had instead caused me months of fear and pain.
For half a year, I didn’t trust my emotions and focused so much on the discomfort I felt. I blamed myself for continuing to take birth control for so long. I also couldn’t comprehend how a doctor prescribed the medication without asking beforehand if I experienced migraines.
After I went off my birth control, the persistent migraines went away and I only had mild episodes every six months. I was no longer afraid to leave my house and regained control over my life.
However, I’ve experienced a resurgence of migraines similar to those I had when I was 16 during the last few months. This return coincided with starting a new birth control pill. Unfortunately, I discovered through loss of vision and incapacitating nausea that this new birth control was no different.
A gynecologist, who was informed of my previous birth control-induced migraines, prescribed the medication. I believed the medication would give me newfound control of my life, but taking it makes me feel less in control than ever before.
I went back to my OB-GYN to explain the increase in migraines and anxiety and was told I should try another form of birth control. I was also told it’s impossible to know if the next medication could induce the side effects. I left my appointment knowing two things; I have to go off of the medication and there may not be a prescribed birth control option for me.
I’ve had four migraine attacks in the past month, causing me to miss class and fall behind at work. I can rarely enjoy time spent with other people due to lingering anxieties about experiencing an episode.
When I search for “hormonally caused migraine solutions,” the treatments and care options feel dismissive. Suggestions range from managing stress and improving eating habits to taking over-the-counter ibuprofen. While medications are helpful during a migraine, I want more comprehensive research and a cure specifically focused on women’s health.
I’ve come to realize that the underlying cause of my migraines lies in the lack of attention and care given to women’s medical issues, whether it’s hormonal migraines or obstetric care.
Every morning, I fear I’ll experience a migraine when I’m away from home. I worry about the day I might run out of my medication and lose control of the episodes. I haven’t outgrown my migraines, and I’m not sure if I ever will.
The one thing I don’t fear is my determination to seek a solution. I refuse to succumb to migraines and allow them to take over my life. I will never take the blame for the migraines I experience and the days they steal from me, and I condemn the healthcare system and the true lack of concern modern medicine has for the modern woman.
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